Confusion. I understand the reason why I'm here, but that reason is a ghost. I look out at life and the mirror reflects nothing, I speak but the sound is lost in the void, the mazes of my being deny illusory contacts, I'm carried by a self that looks at me from another Universe.
The spaceship is a merry-go-round tilting in the primordial lands of my being where I recognize only my invisibility. To long for the alchemical cloud to communicate perfection. In absence, I meet Syd, we exchange pleasantries, we know how things stand. It's a private exchange, sorry. Nick was busy with black holes, a tough job. We'll see each other next never. Christa is a bit further on, seducing nothingness, she nods to me in greeting. With Piero the Italian requires caution, even here "brilla diVino". Friends...
The curse of having a voice that reproduces the sound of Creation resonates with everything else. Surpassing the vanity of being, but also of not being, not even nothing remains. I pulse in an impersonal solitude. The musical skit lingers over the essence of missing, missing your non-being. Setting a date with oneself (?), lingering over the refusal to show up. Suspension...
I accept on a soul level the power of light, but the body cannot endure it. The Archangel within me initiates self-combustion. Conscious destruction eternalizes me, disintegrating the doubt of the truth of feelings. Love plays love, I play no more. The evanescence of lies is only the shadow of the ray. Conscious sacrifice grants unlimited credits towards nothing, nothing they will remain. Shipwrecked forever, I don't even reach the illusion's shore.
I'm trying to reach myself without stretching out my hand.
Hey! Say something, Tim. ... something...
Tim Buckley was a dreamer, a utopian, as far away as he could be from any commercial logic.
Few pieces have reached such depths in exploring anguish: perhaps, from different sides, only Sister Ray by Velvet Underground, the Not Available by Residents, the Frankie Teardrop by Suicide in rock have been able to tell the pain of living so well.