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The Vaselines never made history. They never entered the pantheon of Indie Rock and were never accused of originality. They have no talent and even fewer pretensions. From such a vast array of imperfections and this late-adolescent fury, steeped in defeat, all that can be drawn is "Dum-Dum".
Released in early 1989, the album in question is to date the only full-length by the Edinburgh band. Within it, there is a complete odyssey through the depths of the previous two decades, sifted through a lens saturated with fuzz. Eugene Kelly and Frances McKee describe post-modern Pop trajectories with the ease inherent in losers. Being Pop goes hand in hand with being Naïve. Their sugarcoated melody is as popular as that of potential fifteen-year-old The Pastels. You can feel an innocence in the grooves of "Dum-Dum". Nursery rhymes on fire for kids (too) raised on bread and Punk. Tributes to Iggy Pop & The Stooges ("Sex Sux (Amen)", "Dum-Dum") stand out, alongside existential ballads without any future of Velvet Underground influence ("No Hope") and bored anthems with clear Eighties derivation, like "Lovecraft". What remains is an Indie Pop lament nestled in short, ironic and sneering pieces ("The Day I Was A Horse" and "Oliver Twisted" can be quite explanatory in this regard).
Before even becoming infamous, the Vaselines will disband, only to reform definitively in 2006 (notably after a previous, indeed famous, reunion in 1990). They manage to touch the strings of the heart and the muscles surrounding it, breaking the emotional barrier to such an extent that it intersects with mere playful pleasure. They infect the listener with their Big Babol-flavored naivety. They won’t abandon you. The Vaselines will never make history. But they leave a mark inside and are not easily forgotten.
What are you waiting for to burn your "History of Music" manuals?
Tracklist and Lyrics
01 Sex Sux (Amen) (03:14)
I was born up an original sin,
Brought my two time in her slim virgin,
Father, Son and the Holy Ghost,
I'm the Sacred host, with the most.
I was born on Christmas day,
And all my people turned me away.
They said I'd be the one,
Borrow the life of the chosen son,
Doing the cross was not for me,
It's human life of chastity.
I was born on Christmas day,
And all my people turned me away.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I got one thing to say, SEX SUX AMEN!
02 Slushy (02:02)
Long brown hair, eyes were green.
Prettiest girl I've ever seen,
And you'll never miss what you never had.
Oh, you'll never miss what you never had.
Long brown hair, eyes were gray.
Tried and tried to stay away,
And you'll never miss what you never had.
Oh, you'll never miss what you never had.
I do, I do,
I really miss you,
And if I'd only ask your name again.
03 Monsterpussy (01:46)
Monsterpuss, monsterpuss,
Meow, my monsterpuss,
Monsterpuss, monsterpuss,
Meow, my monsterpuss,
I'm gonna skin it and wear it as a hat,
On my head, everyday when it's dead.
I'm gonna skin it and wear it as gloves,
On my hands, everyday when it's dead.
I'm gonna skin it and wear it as a scarf,
Around my neck, everyday when it's dead.
06 Oliver Twisted (02:55)
Once I had a friend called Oliver Twisted,
Who used to think he was a brand and gifted,
Stupendisly handsome, Beautifully smart,
He had no heart.
On his own he was all alone,
He wanted more than he ever got.
Once I had a friend called Oliver Twisted,
Who took life so slow that he occasionally missed it,
Permanently senseless, never on his brain, he had no brain.
Once I had a friend called Oliver Twisted,
Who lived on the edge or so he insisted,
Inteligently careless, hated rock and roll, he had no soul.
07 The Day I Was a Horse (01:35)
They say the story, hope it don't bore ya,
About they day I was a horse,
He said I've been a mourning and a better be a comming,
And he changed into a horse.
Where'd he go?
I don't know.
Whats he on?
Something strong.
Whats it?
Doing shit.
I think I'm on a muther fuckin trip.
He walks his house with a big bad mouth,
And he swallowed all my friends,
So I let him in and rescued the gang,
And he started up again,
He got kinda thinking and he started up a shaking,
And fell on the bed,
Forgot his swings how everything had changed,
Thought this might never end.
08 Dum-Dum (02:01)
I'm a real dum-dum, I'm a son of a gun,
I was born to walk, but I wanted to walk,
I'm a real dum-dum, I even left my mom,
Cause I get on my knees, and I do what I please.
Dum-dum,
Dum-dum,
Dum-dum,
Dum,
Dum-dum,
Dum-dum
I'm a real dum-dum, but I don't mind,
I got a dum-dum girl, we're two of a kind,
I'm a real dum-dum, I'm gonna find the sun,
I'm gonna do what I want, everyday that I please,
I'm a real dum-dum, Just look at the fun,
I'm gonna get my pics already, satan, satan,
I'm a real dum-dum, hey, I don't care,
If you wanted to know I'm a don't carebear.
09 Hairy (01:53)
I don't want to look like you,
Greasy hair and ugly too,
I just want to live in peace,
To lie in bed and stay asleep.
I don't need your company,
I'm so hungry and I can't sleep,
I'm real tired to even whine,
So don't come up and offer man!
I can do without you,
I've come this far on my own,
I don't need any helping hand,
Cause I'm, I'm a man.
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