The Strokes
First Impressions of Earth

THE REVIEW

I hope it's known to everyone that the Matrix trilogy doesn't exist because after the first masterpiece, the second and third films are respectively a non-film (besides, Bellucci acts in it and it's not a porn, so I don't know what she's doing there) and the negation of a film that compared to "Vacanze Sul Nilo" delves deeper into the characters.

Well, "First Impressions Of Earth" is Matrix 2.

After 2 albums, of which one was fantastic (especially in times of scarcity) and another one not to be dismissed, the Strokes cunningly decide it's already time to slack off and start believing their own hype without remembering that even Genesis wrote a great album ("Selling England By The Pound") and another one not to be dismissed ("The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway") only to turn into one of the most annoying and musically stale things you can find attached to instruments.

Julian "the best of the Coliseum" Casablancas really wants to create an image for his group as our version of the Rolling Stones, all sex and nihilism, forgetting that compared to the pre-80s Stones (but why didn't you stop! you could've stayed at home listening to "Wild Horses" on loop or counting how many normal mouths fit into one of Jagger's), they have a frontman who isn't worth even a lip of Mick and, above all, they lack a lot of talent and originality (besides not having a guitarist who, at 70, still dives headfirst off palm trees), so amidst changes of producers and unearned status to uphold comes out a harmless album, useless, actually just bad, but really bad.

"You Only Live Once" "Heart In A Cage" "On The Other Side" "Ask Me Anything" "Electricityscape" "Killing Lies" "Fear Of Sleep" "Ize Of The World" "Evening Sun" "Red Light" are the typical useless songs that even listening to them for a whole month won't stick with you, you can't even say they're bad because they're just background, you play them while you watch for the hundredth time Djorkaeff's overhead kick against Roma and they're there making noise.

Dishonorable mention for the extremely annoying "Razorblade" and "15 Minutes" in which Casablancas sounds drunk.

The only ones that stand out are "Juicebox", driven by splendid guitar and bass but which if they'd called it "Brand New Cadillac by The Clash Redone by Us" would've been quicker, and the surprising "Vision Of Division" that doesn't seem like theirs but is engaging and memorable.

Besides this, there's a great basic technique (with the singer in a half-asleep state, who has gone from having a unique and captivating voice in the first two albums to a droning lullaby not even like Bonomelli's) especially in the riffs, and a much better production than before which, in my opinion, took even more away from the album making it antiseptic and very distant from the raw simplicity of the beginnings.

Who might like it: the deaf, the parents and relatives of Casablancas, Valensi, Moretti, Fraiture, and Hammond, anyone who has just listened to something worse.

I don't give it a 1 for the few positive reasons listed earlier and because if I give this album a 1, what score do I give to Justin(e) Timberlake?