The Rezillos
Can't Stand the Rezillos

«With the audience still half-empty, the Rezillos initiate hostilities, and if this is among the newest bands emerged recently from the new wave, then it's better to start praying.»

The audience was that of the Rainbow Theatre in London, December 31, 1977.

That night, the Ramones had descended upon the city to reiterate that punk was their daily bread while the young upstarts, from Johnny Rotten to Joe Strummer to Dave Vanian, were all there, under that stage, with their noses pointed upwards in an attempt to grasp the secret, that is, how it was possible to churn out three albums like that in the short span of a year. That secret they didn't grasp then, nor would they ever, neither them nor anyone else.

It was New Year's Eve, and at the Rainbow was about to unfold the most exciting party conceivable.

The Ramones took the stage shortly after 11:00 PM and began to stun the audience with a barrage of high-octane and adrenaline, then, as the clock struck midnight, it was time for greetings and manifestations of good intentions, we're good kids, we sniff glue and live in happy families, but that's another story.

The fact is that on that night of December 31, 1977, the Rainbow opened its doors to the public at 9:00 PM, two hours before the Ramones would take the stage, and those two hours, somehow, had to be filled and a few bands willing to open the evening had to be found. The big shots weren't available: the bosses at Sire asked the bosses at CBS and Virgin, even those at Stiff; no way, Clash, Pistols, and Damned weren't even thinking about taking the stage to open for the Ramones, they only wanted to be under the stage to see the Ramones and admitted no distractions whatsoever.

The second lines were left, sure, Generation X, the ones Billy Idol was singing «It's the third time I've seen Generation X, and Billy always bounces in the same way like a dull bull, deeply in trance to the deafening and piercing music of his guitarist. The violence hovers but doesn't overwhelm you, Generation X are having a bad night.» Generation X didn't think twice and rushed to the stage, when else would they have a chance to open for the Ramones at a concert that would shoot straight into legend? They made the right call.

Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee, and Tommy weren't much impressed by Billy and company, seeing correctly and far as well, but they put on a brave face; however, the other band would be chosen by them, end of discussion, because that was their concert. They chose the Rezillos without a second thought.

Because the Rezillos were like brothers, they wanted them at Sire, close by, because they had seen the same attitude in them.

The Rezillos were hated by everyone. They were punk but how the hell did they dress, and the mohawks, and the pins, and the cigarettes put out on your chest, where were they? They were punk but how the hell did they posture, what were those senseless, almost childish moves, exhibited on stage, I mean, have you seen Joe Strummer and Johnny Rotten on stage? They were punk but how the hell did they play, because these, the Rezillos, could actually play, but is this a joke or what?

Everyone hated them, «...and if this is among the newest bands emerged recently from the new wave, then it's better to start praying.»

But I really like the Rezillos, maybe because I prefer the more wildly playful, (self-)ironic, and senseless aspect of punk, Ramones and Nikki And The Corvettes, to be clear. Well, the Rezillos were in that neighborhood.

Seeing them, they looked like a comic book, but not a black and white comic, rather one that explodes in colors, like the cover of their first LP «Can’t Stand The Rezillos», the Rezillos were hated by everyone, exactly; and if not a comic, then the term of comparison were the Batman and Robin TV shows from the '60s, with the boings, clangs, smashes that pierced the screen each time. That, moreover, the outfits they wore on stage, were even flashier than those of Batman and Robin, and abounded in shocking green and pink tints, to say nothing of the giant dots and improbable shapes imprinted on the singer’s outfits.

Bizarre and eccentric, even excessive, but irresistible.

The music was bizarre and eccentric too.

The Rezillos started as a canonical four-piece band that gradually expanded to eight, complete with a saxophonist and two singers, Eugene Reynolds and Fay Fife; practically all the songs were composed by the guitarist Jo Callis.

In this debut album, there are thirteen; thirteen songs with unmistakably pop melodies played like harsh and aggressive rock 'n' roll, in other words, pop-punk. Some even rose to the rank of (minimal) classics of the genre, and how not to mention «Top Of The Pops», «I Can’t Stand My Baby» and that wonder that is «(My Baby Does) Good Sculptures», the others, though not having the stature of a classic, guaranteed abundant doses of fun and nonsense and pogo, all together, starting with that «Flying Saucer Attack» that opens the LP.

The attack of the flying saucers... Of course, everyone hated the Rezillos; and if on one side were the frantics screaming about anarchy and on the other the praises for the white riot, they were surrounded. And so, they fled to Sire where the Ramones were, who themselves seemed like a comic book - they were even made into comics - and at least they kicked your ass but always with a smile, they and you who were being kicked.

In that debut, the Rezillos also placed three covers; and okay for «Glad All Over» by Dave Clark Five and «I Like It» by Gerry And The Pacemakers, those were beat songs, and beat and punk maybe weren't brothers, but at least cousins; but the lengthy «Somebody’s Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight», that really wasn't admissible. Because that was a Fleetwood Mac song, and okay, they wrote it in 1969, but it was 1977, and for a punk in 1977 it was less atrocious to be kicked in the balls for a week without pause rather than listen to a Fleetwood Mac album, like "Rumours." That they then turned it into a devastating version, for the pure and hard punks, that was a secondary detail.

That’s why everyone hated the Rezillos.

Soon enough they started hating each other mutually and broke up right after releasing this excellent debut LP.

The Rezillos were even hated by Claudio Sorge, who on December 31, 1977, was at the Rainbow in London and, upon returning home, on the pages of the fanzine «Teenage Lobotomy», delivered his judgment to posterity and then knelt down to pray.

If he changed that judgment later, I don't care, because I have always liked the Rezillos a lot.