The Mars Volta
Scabdates

THE REVIEW

In the end, there are 3 tracks. 3 songs. For 72, say 72 minutes. Calculator at hand: 72/3=24 potential minutes per track. But with the repeated, assiduous, and continuous listens to Tremulant, De-loused, and Frances The Mute, I've learned to put away the calculator. With the Mars Volta you don't do math. In a word, guys, this CD is ABSURD!! It starts with the cry of a baby, voices, maybe a soundcheck then "Take the Veil..." and it's perfect. Followed by the bridge "Caviglia" that leads straight to the most beautiful track of Tremulant, that "Concertina" where your silly auricle doesn't know where to direct itself... Cedric or Omar? It's like choosing between a plate of lasagna on Sunday morning and Pan di Stelle with Nutella at 5 PM. While you destroy yourself with indecision, you also pass the quite chaotic "Haruspex" and arrive at that biblically dimensioned (43 minutes) piece, which is "Cicatriz". Inside "Cicatriz" are the Mars Volta, I can't tell you more, it would be useless, but if you don't find 40,000 lire in your pocket (very likely, as the currency has since changed), download it and you'll understand. And here's where you get a feeling of horror towards all those groups (like "we have money and we're cool" such as Strokes, Maximo Park, and Kaiser Merda) that in 43 minutes make a double album+bonus track. And this is what kills me: the average band releasing a live album stuffs it with all the tracks from the last album and they're done. Well yes, the silly monkeys shelling out the euros have short memories, better to slap them with the latest crap... someone might ask"then why didn't Scabdates come out 2 years ago, since it doesn't have new tracks?" Friend, then keep your head down swimming in this sea of musical crap.  Scabdates is a masterpiece musically and conceptually speaking, absolutely against the current and I don't care if for you, masterpiece should only be used for Ok Computer or Zoso (granted and not conceded that they are two masterpieces) this is my first De-review (that's how you write it, right?)