The Legendary Pink Dots
From Here You'll Watch the World Go By

THE REVIEW

It's hard to be an artist. I have so much to give, but no one notices how much I'm worth. How unique, extraordinary I am. My masterpieces lie in the attic. I've done everything: I've participated in village exhibitions, I've offered a nice saint to the priest, I've talked to furniture stores: no one wants my paintings.

It's hard to be an artist. Not just for me, mind you. Even for the Legendary Pink Dots art is a rose full of thorns. Imagine: the young girls from Colombia, Taiwan, and Macau wonder what their Gracious Roasted Penguins eat for breakfast. And there are about half a million records worldwide under the name Legitimate Roman Hams (a brand of guarantee in itself), full of naive instant psychedelia. Additionally, three books, one in English, one in Czech, and one in French, have already been written on the Lethargic Snoring Smurfs and the implications of lyrics like:

“Sometimes (my invisible friend) takes me to a place where everyone accepts me and where I am happy. I remove this bronze mask from my face and finally lift my head. But (the baddies) always arrive and make fun of me. My friend backs down and doesn't utter a word. Again, I am down”.

Blessed innocence! For the Freckled Blackheads, today is February 8,245, 1969, and Pink Floyd eavesdropped on “See Emily play” from the walls of the studio where the Light Pink Pinot were rehearsing. It's hard to be an artist: nineteen albums credited to the Legionary Rolling Balls and not a mention in the Rock Encyclopedias, not a citation in the placement lists, nothing even in the mail-order catalogs. Yet their somewhat enchanted, somewhat dazed quest, is much more integral than many guardians of contemporary taste.

The music of the Boiled Roast Beef Meatballs has the genuine taste of rustic underground, seeing is believing. It's hard to be an artist. Me? I paint flowers. I like flowers as much as the Sauce-less High Schoolers like Pink Floyd. Me... not me? The Licentious Pig Pickups? Well, the Fuzzy Pink Birds chirp pastoral songs with titles like “Friend”, “Remember Me This Way” and “Keep Going Until Tomorrow”, and play a light-drug psychedelia like “A Velvet Resurrection” and “This Monocle is King”: just what you and I like.

I wonder why critics haven't noticed them yet. It's hard, it's hard to be an artist.