The Fall
Mark E Smith's Festive Favourites

Just ten minutes to wish you happy holidays with this record that actually doesn't exist as such, but someone had the bright idea to photoshop Mark E Smith's face onto that of the legendary Hammond organist Lenny Dee - here in the guise of G. Mosconi - on the album Happy Holi-Dee (big title) and to gather the Christmas tracks by the Fall into a playlist which in my humble opinion is essential for family Christmases and to get a very partial idea of the Fall's career spanning over three decades.

So John Quays means junkie, that is, a serious addict, dealing with bigger troubles than the eternal pandoro-panettone conflict; a guy who spits towards the sky and it falls back on his face: no Christmas for him and the Fall are those raw punk from seventy-eight, Live At The Witch Trials, with a very young MES, teeth intact and even understandable.

Jingle Bells Rock, known to me as Peel Session, is the same as Bobby Helms' fifty-seven version, except that Notting Hill becomes Rotting Hill and MES sings annoyed and annoying in his own time. Christmastide cannot be explained, like MES and the Fall's music in ninety-seven: typical brainstorming and Jesus on repeat. Hark The Herald Angels Sing is a classic: the chorus of the Fall's version is one of the ugliest ever recorded, but the guitars are Fall signature, especially the monotonous one. (We Wish You) A Protein Christmas introduces the two-thousands with heavy guitars and a tough attitude: MES is inspired, the perspective is that of Hip Priest, vague and probably changing first person, MES wishes to all our Euro and friends in Jerusalem and Damascus and Praahahahahahgue. Blue Christmas is a live performance from last year with the Fall in their current lineup: Eleni Poulou, MES's pretty companion and keyboardist, duets with an old veteran from years of speed and pints, toothless with a rag in his mouth, who probably mumbles something incomprehensible even to native English speakers, imagine to us. Xmas With Simon is the same as Christmastide.

I don't know what else to say, just merry Christmas. And sorry.