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Rating: It was the last day of summer, a strange, cold day: the boy, disheveled and with smudged lipstick on his lips, sat on a small wall in his garden, a place he had always loved to consider as being outside the world, a secluded, almost suspended space, all his own. In this "non-place," the birds usually sang, perched on their trees, and their calls were almost a lullaby, if you sat quietly and listened to them, you could almost fall asleep.
But, as mentioned, that day was strange: the birds were not singing, in fact, there was no trace of them, but the young man didn't even realize, absorbed as he was in his thoughts. He held some photographs in his hand, faded and blurry shots in which two people were always clearly distinguishable, him and what was surely his girlfriend, or at least a girl important to him. In one photo they were tightly clasped together, close, happy, their bodies so united as to almost seem like Siamese twins... In another, you saw her running in a vast meadow, almost a plain... The young man leafed through them with a gaze between lost and melancholic, feeling a strange sensation, like the nostalgia felt for home... There, that girl was almost a home for him, a safe haven in tough times: she had seen him in crisis, had seen him fall and had lifted him up, they had gone through dark periods together, where they seemed never able to emerge from a sea made of dark, deep waters, but they always made it.
Then one day, at a party, she took his hand and asked him to dance: she had never done it, to be honest, he was almost convinced she didn't like dancing, and that request unsettled him a bit, though he accepted immediately. They were close, being lulled by the music, but her gaze was sad, there was no longer that familiar light that had animated her all these past years. Her eyes were dull, communicated silently, screamed a sadness with the loudest noise he had ever heard, they were almost disturbing, and he couldn't bear the weight. That slow dance lasted little but seemed to stretch for at least a hundred years, and when they parted he felt a shiver of cold, the same cold he felt now and then on that late summer day, sitting on the wall in the suspended garden. When their hands separated, he thought, "this is the first dance we have, but there won't be any others, it will be the last dance"... And how strange it was that the notes they were moving to were those of a love song...
From time to time the boy shook his head as if to rid his eyes of her image... "And if I saw her again...," he thought... "If only I could embrace her again...," he sighed... But then he shook his head as if to convince himself that there couldn't be any more "ifs," that was reality, and he would have to live in it; he had to stop looking at those photos he held in his hand, otherwise, that paper, those memories, would soon become the only feelings he could have, and the cold of that day would take place in his heart. He felt his soul in pieces, disintegrated, but that suffering had to end in one way or another, it had to be reduced to something short-term, something not lasting long; he didn’t want to find himself in twenty years, thirty-nine years old, still in that state. He reached out a hand towards a rose bush, thrust it in with force: he wanted to see if he could still feel at least physical pain, as the good Cash said... When he pulled it out, it was all streaked with blood, and a few drops had remained on the petals. "Bloodflowers," he thought, "like the Cure's album...". Well, at least a bit of pain he could feel, maybe there was still hope. If only something would move, if only he had some stimulus to restart... And that still, gray, and insensitive weather certainly didn’t help, it drove him crazy instead: he would have prayed for a bit of rain, at least it would have distracted him from the cold stupor into which he was falling.
Without a shred of strength, lazily, he let himself slide off the wall he was sitting on and walked towards the house.
He decided that the best way to forget everything, to vent, would be to grab his guitar and jot down a few notes, and write down some random memories, to exorcise his sadness and his demons. He also thought of a name for all this, "Untitled", because love, what he was experiencing, already had a name that summed up all his emotions, and there was no point in trying to give it a different one.
Recorded during a concert held in Berlin in 2002, in "Trilogy" The Cure perform live what Robert Smith has defined as his "dark trilogy", that is, the albums "Pornography", "Disintegration," and "Bloodflowers." From a technical point of view, they move with the mastery of those who have spent a lifetime together (give or take a day), playing with enviable understanding and empathy (just pay attention to the glances between Smith and Gallup). The atmospheres rendered are essentially the same as the records, and those who have loved these works, who have lived every single song contained in them, will certainly have no difficulty in feeling the same emotions experienced with the albums.
There is little else to add: you surely know the musical quality contained in these albums, and there are myriad reviews that have described them... But if you want to try something more, if you want to dive even more into the melancholic and desperate world described by Smith & Co. with those three masterpieces, well you can only sit and enjoy this wonderful live, and you will fall in love with it.
Tracklist Lyrics and Videos
01 Lovesong (03:42)
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again
However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again
However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
02 If Only Tonight We Could Sleep (05:10)
If only tonight we could sleep
In a bed made of flowers
If only tonight we could fall
In a deathless spell
If only tonight we could slide
Into deep black water
And breathe
And breathe...
Then an angel would come
With burning eyes like stars
And bury us deep
In his velvet arms
And the rain would cry
As our faces slipped away
And the rain would cry
Don't let it end...
03 Lullaby (04:45)
(I spy something beginning with S...)
On candystripe legs the spiderman comes
Softly through the shadow of the evening sun
Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead
Looking for the victim shivering in bed
Searching out fear in the gathering gloom and
Suddenly!
A movement in the corner of the room!
And there is nothing I can do
And I realize with fright
That the spiderman is having me for dinner tonight!
Quietly he laughs and shaking his head
Creeps closer now
Closer to the foot of the bed
And softer than shadow and quicker than flies
His arms are around me and his tongue in my eyes
Be still, be calm, be quiet now, my precious boy
Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more
But it's much too late to get away or turn on the light
The spiderman is having you for dinner tonight!
And I feel like I'm being eaten
By a thousand million shivering furry holes
And I know that in the morning I will wake up
In the shivering cold
The spiderman is always hungry...
(Come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly
I have something...)
04 Maybe Someday (05:20)
No I won't do it again, I don't want to pretend
If it can't be like before I've got to let it end
I don't want what I was, I've had a change of head
But maybe someday...
Yeah maybe someday
I've got to let it go and leave it gone
Just walk away, stop it going on
Get too scared to jump if I wait too long
But maybe someday...
I'll see you smile as you call my name
Start to feel, and it feels the same
And I know that maybe someday's come
Maybe someday's come...
Again!
so tell me someday's come tell me some days come again...
No I won't do it some more, doesn't make any sense
If it can't be like it was, I've got to let it rest
I don't want what I did, I had a change of tense
But maybe someday...
I'll see you smile as you call my name
Start to feel, and it feels the same
And I know that maybe someday's come
Maybe someday's come...
If I could do it again maybe just once more
Think I could make it work like I did it before
If I could try it out
If I could just be sure
That maybe someday is the last time
Yeah maybe someday is the end
Oh maybe someday is when it all stops
Or maybe someday always comes again...
07 Where the Birds Always Sing (05:50)
The world is neither fair nor unfair
The idea is just a way for us to understand
But the world is neither fair nor unfair
So one survives
The others die
And you always want a reason why
But the world is neither just nor unjust
It's just us trying to feel that there's some sense in it
No, the world is neither just nor unjust
And though going young
So much undone
Is a tragedy for everyone
It doesn't speak a plan or any secret thing
No unseen sign or untold truth in anything...
But living on in others, in memories and dreams
Is not enough
You want everything
Another world where the sun always shines
And the birds always sing
Always sing...
The world is neither fair nor unfair
The idea is just a way for us to understand
No the world is neither fair nor unfair
So some survive
And others die
And you always want a reason why
But the world is neither just nor unjust
It's just us trying to feel that there's some sense in it
Mo, the world is neither just nor unjust
And though going young
So much undone
Is a tragedy for everyone
It doesn't mean there has to be a way of things
No special sense that hidden hands are pulling strings
But living on in others, in memories and dreams
Is not enough
And it never is
You always want so much more than this...
An endless sense of soul and an eternity of love
A sweet mother down below and a just father above
For living on in others, in memories and dreams
Is not enough
You want everything
Another world
Where the birds always sing
Another world
Where the sun always shines
Another world
Where nothing ever dies...
08 Siamese Twins (05:37)
I chose an eternity of this
Like falling angels
The world disappeared
Laughing into the fire
Is it always like this?
Flesh and blood and the first kiss
The first colours
The first kiss
We writhed under a red light
Voodoo smile
Siamese twins
A girl at the window looks at me for an hour
Then everything falls apart
Broken inside me
It falls apart
The walls and the ceiling move in time
Push a blade into my hands
Slowly up the stairs
And into the room
Is it always like this?
Dancing in my pocket
Worms eat my skin
She glows and grows
With arms outstretched
Her legs around me...
In the morning I cried
Leave me to die
You won't remember my voice
I walked away and grew old
You never talk
We never smile
I scream
You're nothing
I don't need you any more
You're nothing
It fades and spins
Fades and spins...
Sing out loud
We all die
Laughing into the fire...
Is it always like this?
09 Pornography (07:34)
a hand in my mouth
a life spills into the flowers
we all look so perfect
as we all fall down
in an electric glare
the old man cracks with age
she found his last picture
in the ashes of the fire
an image of the queen
echoes round the sweating bed
sour yellow sounds inside my head
in books
and films
and in life
and in heaven
the sound of slaughter
as your body turns
but it's too late
one more day like today and i'll kill you
a desire for flesh
and real blood
i'll watch you drown in the shower
push my life through your open eyes
i must fight this sickness
find a cure
i must fight this sickness...
12 The Kiss (09:43)
kiss me kiss me kiss me!
your tongue is like poison
so swollen it fills up my mouth
love me love me love me!
you nail me to the floor
and push my guts all inside out
get it out get it out get it out!
get your fucking voice
out of my head!
i never wanted this
i never wanted any of this
i wish you were dead
i wish you were dead
i never wanted any of this
i wish you were dead
dead
dead
dead
13 Fascination Street (05:19)
Oh it's opening time
Down on Fascination Street
So let's cut the conversation
And get out for a bit
Because I feel it all fading and paling
And I'm begging
To drag you down with me
To kick the last nail in
Yeah! I like you in that
Like I like you to scream
But if you open your mouth
Then I can't be responsible
For quite what goes in
Or to care what comes out
So just pull on your hair
Just pull on your pout
And let's move to the beat
Like we know that it's over
If you slip going under
Slip over my shoulder
So just pull on your face
Just pull on your feet
And let's hit opening time
Down on Fascination Street
So pull on your hair
Pull on your pout
Cut the conversation
Just open your mouth
Pull on your face
Pull on your feet
And let's hit opening time
Down on Fascination Street
14 One Hundred Years (08:46)
It doesn't matter if we all die
Ambition in the back of a black car
In a high building there is so much to do
Going home time
A story on the radio...
Something small falls out of your mouth
And we laugh
A prayer for something better
A prayer
For something better
Please love me
Meet my mother...
But the fear takes hold
Creeping up the stairs in the dark
Waiting for the death blow
Stroking your hair as the patriots are shot
Fighting for freedom on the television
Sharing the world with slaughtered pigs
Have we got everything?
She struggles to get away...
The pain
And the creeping feeling
A little black haired girl
Waiting for Saturday
The death of her father pushing her
Pushing her white face into the mirror
Aching inside me
And turn me round
Just like the old days
Just like the old days
Caressing an old man
And painting a lifeless face
Just a piece of new meat in a clean room
The soldiers close in under a yellow moon
All shadows and deliverance
Under a black flag
A hundred years of blood
Crimson
The ribbon tightens round my throat
I open my mouth
And my head bursts open
A sound like a tiger thrashing in the water
Thrashing in the water
Over and over
We die one after the other
Over and over
We die one after the other after the other...
It feels like a hundred years
One hundred years...
15 Disintegration (08:21)
Oh I miss the kiss of treachery
The shameless kiss of vanity
The soft and the black and the velvety
Up tight against the side of me
And mouth and eyes and heart all bleed
And run in thickening streams of greed
As bit by bit it starts the need
To just let go
My party piece
Oh I miss the kiss of treachery
The aching kiss before I feed
The stench of a love for a younger meat
And the sound that it makes
When it cuts in deep
The holding up on bended knees
The addiction of duplicities
As bit by bit it starts the need
To just let go
My party piece
But I never said I would stay to the end
So I leave you with babies and hoping for frequency
Screaming like this in the hope of the secrecy
Screaming me over and over and over
I leave you with photographs
Pictures of trickery
Stains on the carpet and
Stains on the scenery
Songs about happiness murmured in dreams
When we both us knew
How the ending would be...
So it's all come back round to breaking apart again
Breaking apart like I'm made up of glass again
Making it up behind my back again
Holding my breath for the fear of sleep again
Holding it up behind my head again
Cut in deep to the heart of the bone again
Round and round and round
And it's coming apart again
Over and over and over
Now that I know that I'm breaking to pieces
I'll pull out my heart
And I'll feed it to anyone
Crying for sympathy
Crocodiles cry for the love of the crowd
And the three cheers from everyone
Dropping through sky
Through the glass of the roof
Through the roof of your mouth
Through the mouth of your eye
Through the eye of the needle
It's easier for me to get closer to heaven
Than ever feel whole again
I never said I would stay to the end
I knew I would leave you with babies and everything
Screaming like this in the hole of sincerity
Screaming me over and over and over
I leave you with photographs
Pictures of trickery
Stains on the carpet and
Stains on the memory
Songs about happiness murmured in dreams
When we both of us knew
How the end always is
How the end always is...
16 Prayers for Rain (05:55)
You shatter me
Your grip on me
A hold on me
So dull it kills
You stifle me
Infectious sense
Of hopelessness and
Prayers for rain
I suffocate
I breathe in dirt
And nowhere shines
But desolate
And drab the hours all spent
On killing time again
All waiting for
The rain
You fracture me
Your hands on me
A touch so plain
So stale it kills
You strangle me
Entangle me
In hopelessness and
Prayers for rain
I deteriorate
I live in dirt
And nowhere glows
But drearily and tired
The hours all spent
On killing time again
All waiting for
The rain
17 Last Dance (05:06)
I'm so glad you came
I'm so glad you remembered
To see how we're ending
Our last dance together
Expectant
Too punctual
But prettier than ever
I really believe that this time it's forever
But older than me now
More constant
More real
And the fur and the mouth and the innocence
Turned to hair and contentment
That hangs in abasement
A woman now standing where once
There was only a girl
I'm so glad you came
I'm so glad you remembered
The walking through walls in the heart of December
The blindness of happiness
Of falling down laughing
And I really believed that this time was forever
But Christmas falls late now
Flatter and colder
And never as bright as when we used to fall
All this in an instant
Before I can kiss you
A woman now standing where once
There was only a girl
I'm so glad you came
I'm so glad you remembered
To see how we're ending
Our last dance together
Reluctantly
Cautiously
But prettier than ever
I really believe that this time it's forever
But Christmas falls late now
Flatter and colder
And never as bright as when we used to fall
And even if we drink
I don't think we would kiss in the way that we did
When the woman
Was only a girl
18 The Hanging Garden (04:35)
Creatures kissing in the rain
Shapeless in the dark again
In the hanging garden
Please don't speak
In the hanging garden
No one sleeps
Catching haloes on the moon
Gives my hands the shapes of angels
In the heat of the night
The animals scream
In the heat of the night
Walking into a dream...
Fall fall fall fall
Into the walls
Jump jump out of time
Fall fall fall fall
Out of the sky
Cover my face as the animals cry
In the hanging garden
Creatures kissing in the rain
Shapeless in the dark again
In a hanging garden
Change the past
In a hanging garden
Wearing furs and masks...
Fall fall fall fall
Into the walls
Jump jump out of time
Fall fall fall fall
Out of the sky
Cover my face as the animals die
In the hanging garden
In the hanging garden
19 39 (07:21)
So the fire is almost out and there's nothing left to burn
I've run right out of thoughts and I've run right out of words
As I used them up, I used them up...
Yeah the fire is almost cold and there's nothing left to burn
I've run right out of feeling and I've run right out of world
And everything I promised, and everything I tried
Yeah everything I ever did I used to feed the fire
I used to feed the fire
I used to feed the fire
I used to feed the fire
But the fire is almost out - is almost out...
And there's nothing left to burn
No there's nothing left to burn
Not even this...
And the fire is almost dead and there's nothing left to burn
I've finished everything...
And all the things I promised, and all the things I tried
Yeah all the things I ever dreamed I used to feed the fire
I used to feed the fire
I used to feed the fire
I used to feed the fire
But the fire is almost out...
Half my life I've been here
Half my life in flames
Using all I ever had to keep the fire ablaze
To keep the fire ablaze
To keep the fire ablaze
To keep the fire ablaze...
But there's nothing left to burn
No there's nothing left to burn
And the fire is almost out
The fire is almost out
Yeah the fire is almost out
Almost out, almost out
Almost out, almost out...
And there's nothing left to burn
22 Homesick (07:15)
Hey hey!
Just one more and I'll walk away
All the everything you win
Turns to nothing today
And I forget how to move
When my mouth is this dry
And my eyes are bursting hearts
In a blood-stained sky
Oh it was sweet
It was wild
And oh how we...
I trembled
Stuck in honey
Honey
Cling to me...
So just one more
Just one more go
Inspire in me the desire in me
To never go home
Oh just one more
And I'll walk away
All the everything you win
Turns to nothing today
So just one more
Just one more go
Inspire in me the desire in me
To never go home
24 Closedown (04:22)
I'm running out of time
I'm out of step and
Closing down and
Never sleep for wanting hours
The empty hours of greed
And uselessly
Always the need
To feel again the real belief
Of something more than mockery
If only I could fill
My heart with love
25 Watching Me Fall (11:22)
I've been watching me fall for it seems like years
Watching me grow small
I watch me disappear
Slipping out my ordinary world
Out my ordinary eyes
Yeah slipping out the ordinary me
Into someone else's life
Into someone else's life...
There's a thin white cold new moon
And the snow's coming down
And the neon bright Tokyo lights
Flicker through the crowd
I've been drifting around for hours
And I'm lost and I'm tired
When a whisper in my ear
Insatiable breeze
Why don't you follow me inside?
Yeah the room is small
The room is bright
Her hair is black
The bed is white
And the night is always young
Is always young
Always young
The night is always young...
Yeah I've been seen stripped to the bone
In the mirror on the wall
Seeing her swallow him whole
Like it's not me at all
She holds out her hands
And I follow her down to my knees
And the sucking inside
Insatiable smiles
You will forget yourself in me...
Yeah the room is small
The room is bright
Her eyes are black
The bed is white
And the night is always young
And the night goes on and on
And the night is always young
And the night is never over and over and over and over and over...
And then it's gone
And then it's gone
Yeah then it's gone
Yeah it's a cruel mean cold new day
And outside the snow is still coming down
And in the blood red Tokyo bed
I watch me coming round
She pulled him down for hours
Deeper than I've ever been
And as I fall in the mirror on the wall
I'm watching me scream
I'm watching me scream
I'm watching me scream
I'm watching me scream
Yeah I've been watching me go for it must be years
Watching me get slow
I watch me disappear
And one day, yeah I know
I won't come back at all...
And always over and over
In his ordinary eyes
I'm watching me fall
I'm watching me fall
I'm watching me fall
I'm watching me fall
26 The Figurehead (06:49)
Sharp and open
Leave me alone
And sleeping less every night
As the days become heavier and weighted
Waiting
In the cold light
A noise
A scream tears my clothes as the figurines tighten
With spiders inside them
And dust on the lips of a vision of hell
I laughed in the mirror for the first time in a year
A hundred other words blind me with your purity
Like an old painted doll in the throes of dance
I think about tomorrow
Please let me sleep
As I slip down the window
Freshly squashed fly
You mean nothing
You mean nothing
I can lose myself in Chinese art and American girls
All the time
Lose me in the dark
Please do it right
Run into the night
I will lose myself tomorrow
Crimson pain
My heart explodes
My memory in a fire
And someone will listen
At least for a short while...
I can never say no to anyone but you
Too many secrets
Too many lies
Writhing with hatred
Too many secrets
Please make it good tonight...
But the same image haunts me
In sequence
In despair of time
I will never be clean again
I touched her eyes
Pressed my stained face
I will never be clean again
Touch her eyes
Press my stained face
I will never be clean again
I will never be clean again
27 Pictures of You (07:45)
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures are
All I can feel
Remembering
You standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
And we kissed as the sky fell in
Holding you close
How I always held close in your fear
Remembering
You running soft through the night
You were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow
And screamed at the make-believe
Screamed at the sky
And you finally found all your courage
To let it all go
Remembering
You fallen into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white
So delicate
Lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark
Remembering
You how you used to be
Slow drowned
You were angels
So much more than everything
Hold for the last time then slip away quietly
Open my eyes
But I never see anything
If only I'd thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All my pictures of you
Looking so long at these pictures of you
But I never hold on to your heart
Looking so long for the words to be true
But always just breaking apart
My pictures of you
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to never feel the breaking apart
All my pictures of you
28 Cold (04:12)
Scarred
Your back was turned
Curled like an embryo
Take another face
You will be kissed again
I was cold as I mouthed the words
And crawled across the mirror
I wait
Await the next breath
Your name
Like ice into my heart
A shallow grave
A monument to the ruined age
Ice in my eyes
And eyes like ice don't move
Screaming at the moon
Another past time
Your name
Like ice into my heart
Everything as cold as life
Can no-one save you?
Everything
As cold as silence
And you will never say a word
Your name
Like ice into my heart
29 Bloodflowers (08:17)
'This dream never ends,' you said
'This feel never goes
The time will never come to slip away
This wave never breaks,' you said
'This sun never sets again
These flowers will never fade'
Never fade
'This world never stops,' you said
'This wonder never leaves
The time will never come to say goodbye
This tide never turns,' you said
'This night never falls again
These flowers will never die'
Never die
Never die
These flowers will never die
Never die
'This dream always ends,' I said
'This feeling always goes
The time always comes to slip away
This wave always breaks,' I said
'This sun always sets again
And these flowers will always fade'
'This world always stops,' you said
'This wonder always leaves
The time always comes to say goodbye
This tide always turns,' I said
'This night always falls again
And these flowers will always die'
Always die
Always die
These flowers will always die
Between you and me
It's hard to ever really know
Who to trust
How to think
What to believe
Between me and you
It's hard to ever really know
Who to choose
How to feel
What to do
Never fade
Never die
You give me flowers of love
Always fade
Always die
I let fall flowers of blood
30 Plainsong (05:37)
I think it's dark and it looks like rain,
You said
And the wind is blowing like it's the end of the world,
You said
And it's so cold
It's like the cold if you were dead...
And then you smiled
For a second
I think I'm old and I'm feeling pain,
You said
And it's all running out like it's the end of the world,
You said
And it's so cold
It's like the cold if you were dead...
And then you smiled
For a second
Sometimes you make me feel
Like I'm living at the edge of the world
Like I'm living at the edge of the world
It's just the way I smile,
You said
31 A Short Term Effect (04:20)
movement
no movement
just a falling bird
cold as it hits the bleeding ground
he lived and died...
catch sight
cover me with earth
draped in black
static
white sound
a day without substance
a change of thought
an atmosphere that rots with time
colours that flicker in water
a short term effect
scream!
as she tries to push him over
helpless and sick
with teeth of madness
jump jump dance and sing
sideways across the desert
a charcoal face
bites my hand
time is sweet
derange and disengage everything
a day without substance
a change of thought
the atmosphere rots with time
colours that flicker in water
a short term effect
an echo
and a stranger's hand
a short term effect
an echo
and a stranger's hand
a short term effect
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By gigi sabani
The three albums have little in common with each other, perhaps musically the second and the third, but the song lyrics belong to three different phases in Smith’s life.
No smoke machines, no strange faces (those times are past) but many emotions not necessarily plastic but sincere.
