The Collettivo
Something About Mary Quant

"Every cockroach is beautiful to its mother".

In the end, this is the most suitable quote for this debut album by "The Collettivo," a new indie-rock band from the Neapolitan scene (even though they insist on calling themselves "disco-punk" when they have neither disco nor punk attributes, ed.) and who, according to them, "are about to climb the peaks of indie-rock" (but weren't they new wave-disco-punk or something else?! Who knows...). A few initial notes, The Collettivo consists of 5 guys: Sollo, Mark and Tiell, Elfo Saiia, Calijunior (sounds like an ice cream name...), Dario Casillo as vocalist, drummer, guitarist, bassist, and keyboardist, respectively. The album is produced by the fledgling Neapolitan record label Materia Principale, distributed by Family Affair, mixed by Matteo Cantaluppi, and mastered by Steve Fallone. Let's see what’s inside.

What immediately catches the eye when you hold the album is the well-crafted artwork. Dominant colors orange and black intertwined in "wallpaper" style that screams '50s (and very indie-rock). Packaging in digi-pack, of course. Let's put the CD in the player and hit play.

The album opens with "Dancer", stuff already heard.... according to many, this would be a song that ignites the dancefloor... I wonder if these people have ever heard anything by Justice. A subdued intro with Sollo starting to sing "tonight I feel the king of the dancefloor..." and then off to a collection of the most predictable musical choices possible, let’s add a third-grade level text.... ("you looked at me, I looked at you"... for heaven's sake, write the songs in Italian if you can't do it in English... because abroad no one will ever care about you...). We move on with "Does anybody want me", same as above, here the keyboardist tries to impress with some LFO and some filter openings but fails. Sollo sings with an always filtered and semi-distorted voice (perhaps more out of necessity than style....). Like the first, it starts a bit subdued and then "explodes" into a predictable and useless chorus. But let's move forward with "Selfish"... initial environmental noises and ladies and gentlemen..... THE BASS!!! damn, they actually have a bassist... I thought they’d kept him in the fridge of the cover until now. The sound of the drums is nice in this track, very boosted and strong, especially the snare which gives a bit of groove to the piece. Otherwise, the differences between this song and the previous two must be searched with a magnifying glass... oh no, excuse me... here the keyboardist uses the vocoder and a monophonic (sounds sinusoidal by ear) in countertime in the chorus.... scary, huh?

We move on to number 4: "My sweet radio". I say: enough with copying Strokes and Franz Ferdinand... enough, please... because the originals are nearly terrible already, the poor copies become something grotesque. Another round, another gift with "London town", same as the previous song. But God... already a band from Naples singing a song called "London town" makes you think, but aside from that... some sound rip-offs here are lawsuit-worthy. Okay, moving on with the flagship song..."Lies". The intentions were there this time, even if copied again, not as evidently as before; a pity that when the chorus arrives all the good intentions are shattered in the face of the usual indie-rock antics for the privileged. Oh anyway, if I write little from song to song it’s not because I’m deficient, but simply because they’re all the same. Same sound in the voice, guitar always the same (sounds like a telecaster by ear), drums always equalized and compressed the same way to cut mids and keep lows and highs (especially with the snare), keyboards that are at least useless, I bet the house that one is definitely a Clavia nord lead. It's a must for every indie keyboardist (used at 1% naturally... are we crazy to want to learn to use a synth without using presets?!), bass.... bass?! Oh yes... the one heard at the beginning of "selfish".... whatever they must have put it back in the freezer on the cover for the rest of the album.

It’s the turn of "Calm down". Here really begins to be unbearable. Sollo's voice starts to get irritating, structures always the same... it's almost a rule that there must be a break between the verse and the chorus with a guitar arpeggio strictly with tremolo (see "Dancer", the first that comes to mind), usual easy chorus with voice notes held long to give that easy listening trick, usual absent bass and drums that could have been programmed in 5 minutes with a drum machine to make the drummer sweat less, keyboards not present. With "Superman" however they outdid themselves! In fact, it's difficult to copy yourself, okay I won’t repeat that the whole song is like the others on the album, by now it’s clear that the 5 guys need to have a bit more imagination... but... pay attention to the chorus: it’s identical to that of "Calm down". No comment. "Wasted time" ...a title a reason. Here I write very little because it's really the fair of the obvious, trying to give a sense to the piece by overlapping two sung parts and giving a sound a bit different from the others but alas... it’s always all the same. It comes to an end with "We don’t like the Muse", Franz Ferdinand mixed with The Bravery and a sprinkle of The Strokes trying to give a rebellious tone by saying they hate Muse. Indeed Muse sucks, but at least they didn’t copy anyone.

Perhaps I've been a bit harsh with these guys, but if I was, it's for a reason. I read the reviews that have been written in various magazines and portals, and according to them, this album is something innovative, phenomenal, irresistible... in short, there's not ONE review where there's at least a mention of some negative aspect, not to mention speak ill of it. "Something about Mary Quant" is not awful, mind you, it turned out even too well considering the lack of ideas... but it's an album that’s as good as air, hot air, stuff heard and reheard. All pieces seem to come from any of the myriad of English bands circulating today (in a more languid version). But this is a discussion to be broadened, try buying a music magazine and reading the reviews of various Italian releases (especially if independent), and there won’t be a review in which an album is really torn apart. This makes me think two things: either we live in wonderland, or the Italian press towards local products, I’m not saying is 'bought' but that it follows a lot, perhaps too much, the trends of the moment to the total detriment of musical objectivity. I sincerely hope this '80s indie-rock revival trend ends soon because by now the Italian music scene and beyond has reached a joke-level oversaturation with this stuff, it’s unbearable... it’s music for pseudo-expert indetini hipsters, those who do the arm "cocktail in hand" dance (quote).

"Trash": this is the adjective I believe is most appropriate for this work, when this trend ends in a few years come remind me where The Collettivo are. Disposable music.

In conclusion, The Collettivo is nothing but a bland group, useless, insipid, and (dreaming of being) commercial, without the slightest artistic vein, without a scrap of innovation/personality and with nothing really to say. A product made at the table to try and make some money, nothing more. This is the music that fuels the suffocation of creativity, the death of personality, to be honest, I have a completely different conception of music, embracing Tim Buckley as the Brutal Truth, Billie Holiday or DNA, the Swans as Arab On Radar up to Public Enemy, but certainly not including the hipsters of The Collettivo.