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Rating: LOVE or LEVO?
I got up this morning to go to work. On the little radio, they were playing "Because" from this latest Beatles Christmas gift package that's reigning in all the MegaStores across half of Europe. Yellow badges, yellow windows, yellow display stands. In response, my little guy started peeing clear. A coincidence?
Once again, we're dealing with the same old story - as I've already extensively discussed in previous reviews/rambles: once you've found the right teat, everyone goes down to milk the Golden Bug/Cow. For how much longer?! Years?! Centuries?! Millennia?! And I'm still here getting scandalized by well-known and repeatedly-discussed things in various situations?!? I go down to the lobby, and the doorman is whistling "Get Back", and I'm surprised by the ability of certain songs to stick in the public's mind, but after all, being an ICON and IMMORTAL means this as well. In retaliation, I leave without saying goodbye and slam the glass door shut, shattering it into a thousand pieces (a thousand pieces?!).
On the scooter, at the first traffic light, a Smart pulls up next to me, and the driver's Nokia buzzes with "Eleanor Rigby." As soon as the green light hits, it speeds off, unaware of the mark I left on its side with the key.
Have the Beatles already become part of the DNA of All Humanity?! I'm starting to wonder... could it be an extraterrestrial plan by the Bitolsian civilization?! If there are Venusians, Martians, and Visitors, couldn't there also be Bitolsians ready to invade Planet Earth?!
I'd like to shout "help," but on second thought, I'd still be quoting a track from the 4 bugs, and I don't want to give them that satisfaction, so I proceed in silence but instead of heading to work, I detour towards Fiumicino airport. Damn the world and this damn Bitolsian virus!
At check-in, the hostess is holding a little radio blaring "Strawberry Fields Forever" in mono... this Bitolsian thing and the secret plan to conquer Earth is slightly obsessing me. We're talking about an album ('this Love) that's basically 70% IDENTICAL to the already edited material in numerous versions, apart from a few remixes and a few different intro pieces. There's some reverb, some overdubs to "dirty" here and there, a few out-take chuckles, scattered choruses here and there... essentially, half a mockery reeking of cheap & shady marketing from a Thousand Miles away (and Alitalia has nothing to do with it!).
On the blindly-taken plane, I'm heading to ANY PART OF THE GLOBULAR EARTH that hasn't been contaminated by the Beatles Morbo: Zimbabwe or Cape Horn, I suppose, though I have reservations about Cape Horn.
Damn, is it possible: after almost 40 years, we're still begging for chords and melodies from these four?! 40 years of damning our souls with about a dozen official albums and truckloads of best-ofs, collections, Gold albums, No.1s, Gritistits, Bitolsmania, ScaraFOUR, and countless these-cubes... I was born in '64 listening to the Beatles in the cradle, and now you want to tell me that I'll take them to the grave?! IS THAT WHAT THEY WANT?!?!
On the airplane's small TV, predictably, they're showing a Portuguese film with the DVD of the same LOVE, just a slightly longer version (81 minutes versus the CD's 78... nice remastered images but nothing groundbreaking) included with the CD, created specifically for the Cirque Du Soleil show (these French too... goddamn... never once do they mind their own business!!). And there I imagine the scene: WELL DONE, WELL COME, the whole staff of the "other" Circus revolving around the Fab Four, namely Paul, Ringo, Yoko, George's widow, John Martin & son, grandchildren and leeches of all types with the whole entourage complete would have said, rubbing their hands.
"Los Beatles... but what a very beautiful ballast we have to hold, eh?!" I say to a diamond-jewelled Maghrebi woman sitting next to me, improvising a completely invented Chicano "What's your name?!"
"Lucy" she replies... of course, I bite my tongue for the easy joke I would have made citing another evergreen bug tune and move on, no longer speaking to her as a sign of disdain.
The airplane suddenly begins doing whatever it wants, and in 10 minutes, to cut it short, it crashes headlong.
"Help!" the Black woman exclaims as an elderly passenger protects his granddaughter "Hey Jude... Please don't cry" as if on purpose: DYING WITH THE BEATLES IN MY EARS NO, EH?!?! I hurl a Lady Madonna and 4 uncopyrighted curses while we splatter into the not-so-Pacific ocean.
I swim, swear, no survivors... I struggle swimming frog-style until I reach a godforsaken islet with 11 palm trees.
I am exhausted.
Little Jude who survived with me is crying desperately for the loss of her grandfather on the plane. I tell her: "Come on Jude, you're done crying now."
A week has passed, and there's almost nothing left of little Jude: just two menisci and a calf, and at this rate, I don't know how I'll make it since my stomach is starting to growl again.
There is a positive aspect: there are no longer any of these damned bugs to plague my days. No more Ringo, no more Paul, no more "no way" even with the other two.
Only sounds of seagulls, waves, wind, and a few monkeys mimicking me.
But what peace... AHHH what silence...
Only on the 8th day do I spot footprints in the sand. Rounding the cove, I see this pale young man with locks over his eyes playing the guitar in front of a bonfire.
"Damn... you too survived?! You too on my same plane!!"
"Oh yes..." he replies with typical English enthusiasm.
"But it's splendid... do you think... here alone, just you and me, a guitar, and especially NO BEATLES anywhere you look... would you ever have said so?!"
"Oh yeah... it's incredible"
"Well... shouldn't we celebrate? Sorry... but we haven't even introduced ourselves... I am Lesto... Lesto Bang... you know?!"
"Noel... Noel Gallagher."
Now it's been 4 weeks and nothing remains of the English singer: just the sacrum bone I use as a fishhook holder and the spine that I use as a baseball bat in my long lazy afternoons.
How long will I be able to survive without the ghost of the Beatles?! Will I be able to hold on for much longer? Eh... AND FOR HOW LONG THEN? Is it possible to even remotely imagine a future without this sonic boulder?! "Well, but they're the Beatles damn it, you're talking about God, not nonsense!" some will say... but I say: would a life without God or religions even be conceivable, I wonder?!
I swear... I say I SWEAR that if a yellow submarine comes to rescue me, I'll sink it with my own hands!!!!!
Tracklist and Lyrics
02 Get Back (02:05)
Jo Jo was a man who thought he was a loner
But he knew it couldn't last
Jo Jo left his home in Tucson, Arizona
for some California grass
Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back Jo Jo
Go home
Get back, get back
Back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back
Back to where you once belonged
Get back Jo
Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman
But she was another man
All the girls around her say she's got it coming
But she gets it while she can
Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back Loretta
Ah, get back
Yeah, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Yeah get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back, Ooo
[Past Masters/single version only:
Get back, Loretta,
Your mommy's waiting for you,
Wearin' her high heel shoes and her low neck sweater,
Get back home, Loretta
Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged.
Get back, get back, get back...]
03 Glass Onion (01:21)
I told you about strawberry fields
You know the place where nothing is real
Well here's another place you can go
Where everything flows
Looking through the bent backed tulips
To see how the other half live
Looking through a glass onion
I told you about the walrus and me, man
You know that we're as close as can be, man
Well here's another clue for you all
The walrus was Paul
Standing on the cast iron shore, yeah
Lady Madonna trying to make ends meet, yeah
Looking through a glass onion
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Looking through a glass onion
I told you about the fool on the hill
I tell you man he's living there still
Well here's another place you can be
Listen to me
Fixing a hole in the ocean
Tryin' to make a dovetail joint
Looking through a glass onion
05 I Am the Walrus (04:28)
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly
I'm crying
Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man, you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long
I am the Eggman
They are the Eggmen
I am the Walrus
Goo-goo-ga-joob
Mister city, policeman sitting, pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run
I'm crying
I'm cry---ing
I'm crying
I'm cry---ing
Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
I am the Eggman
They are the Eggmen
I am the Walrus
Goo-goo-ga-joob
Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the English rain
I am the Eggman
They are the Eggmen
I am the Walrus
Goo-goo-ga-joob-goo-goo-goo-ga-joob
Expert texpert, choking smokers
Don't you think the Joker laughs at you?
Ho-ho-ho-hee-hee-hee-ha-ha-ha
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide
I'm crying
Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should've seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe
I am the Eggman
They are the Eggmen
I am the Walrus
Goo-goo-ga-joob-goo-goo-goo-ga-joob
Goo-goo-ga-joob-goo-goo-goo-ga-joob
Goo-goo-ga-joob-goo-goo-goo-ga-joob
Juba, juba, juba
Juba, juba
Juba, juba
Juba, juba, stick it up your joompah
Oompah, oompah, stick it up your joompah
Oompah, oompah, stick it up your joompah
Everyone's got one
Oompah, oompah, stick it up your joompah
Everyone's got one
Everyone's got one
Everyone's got one
Oompah, oompah, stick it up your joompah
Oompah, oompah, stick it up your joompah…
[Here's the Shakespeare that occurs at the end of "I Am The Walrus."
King Lear Act Four, Scene 6, lines 249-259:]
Oswald: Slave, thou hast slain me. Villain, take my purse.
If ever thou wilt thrive, bury my body
And give the letters which you find'st about me
To Edmund, Earl of Gloucester. Seek him out
Upon the English party. O, untimely death!
Death! [He dies]
Edgar: I know thee well: a serviceable villain, As duteous to the vices of thy mistress As badness would desire.
Gloucester: What, is he dead?
Edgar: Sit you down, father. Rest you. [Gloucester sits.]
06 I Want to Hold Your Hand (01:22)
Oh yeah, I'll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
Oh, please say to me
You'll let me be your man
And, please, say to me
You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
And when I touch you I feel happy inside
It's such a feeling that, my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide
Yeah, you got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
And when I touch you I feel happy inside
It's such a feeling that, my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide
Yeah, you got that something
I think you'll understand
When I feel that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
08 Gnik Nus (00:55)
Here comes the sun king
Here comes the sun king
Everybody's laughing
Everybody's happy
Here comes the sun king
Quando paramucho mi amore defelice coraphon
Mundo paparazzi mi amore chicka ferry parasol
Cuesto obrigado tanta mucho que can it carousel
10 Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite! / I Want You (She's So Heavy) / Helter Skelter (03:22)
11 Help! (02:19)
(Help!) I need somebody
(Help!) Not just anybody
(Help!) You know I need someone
(Help!)
When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now these days are gone
I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind
I've opened up the doors
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me
And now my life has changed in oh, so many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the haze
But every now and then I feel so insecure
I know that I just need you like
I've never done before
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me
When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now these days are gone
I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind
I've opened up the doors
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oooo
13 Strawberry Fields Forever (04:32)
Let me take you down
'Cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever
Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It's getting hard to be someone, but it all works out
It doesn't matter much to me
Let me take you down
'Cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever
No one, I think, is in my tree
I mean, it must be high or low
That is, you can't, you know, tune in, but it's alright
That is, I think it's not too bad
Let me take you down
'Cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever
Always, no, sometimes think it's me
But you know I know when it's a dream
I think I know, I mean, er yes, but it's all wrong
That is, I think I disagree
Let me take you down
'Cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever
Strawberry fields forever
Strawberry fields forever
15 Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds (04:11)
Picture yourself in a boat on a river
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Cellophane flowers of yellow and green
Towering over your head
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes
And she's gone
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Aaaaaah
Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain
Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers
That grow so incredibly high
Newspaper taxis appear on the shore
Waiting to take you away
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds
And you're gone
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Aaaaaah
Picture yourself on a train in a station
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Aaaaaah
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Aaaaaah
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds...
16 Octopus's Garden (03:19)
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade
He'd let us in, knows where we've been
In his octopus's garden in the shade
I'd ask my friends to come and see
In an octopus's garden with me
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade
We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
Resting our head on the sea bed
In an octopus's garden near a cave
We would sing and dance around
Because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade
We would shout and swim about
The coral that lies beneath the waves
Oh what joy for every girl and boy
Knowing they're happy and they're safe
We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden with you
in an octopus's garden with you
in an octopus's garden with you
17 Lady Madonna (02:57)
Lady Madonna,
Children at your feet
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet.
Who finds the money
When you pay the rent?
Did you think that money was heaven-sent?
Friday night arrives without a suitcase.
Sunday morning creeping like a nun.
Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace.
See how they run.
Lady Madonna,
Baby at your breast
Wonders how you manage to feed the rest.
See how they run.
Lady Madonna,
Lying on the bed.
Listen to the music playing in your head.
Tuesday afternoon is never ending.
Wednesday morning papers didn't come.
Thursday night your stockings needed mending.
See how they run.
Lady Madonna,
Children at your feet
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet.
20 Revolution (02:15)
You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out... in
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
Ah
You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We're doing what we can
But when you want money
For people with minds that hate
All I can tell is brother you have to wait
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
Ah
You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
All right, all right, all right
All right, all right, all right
All right, all right, all right
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
All right, all right
22 While My Guitar Gently Weeps (03:47)
I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps
I don't know why nobody told you
How to unfold your love
I don't know how someone controlled you
They bought and sold you
I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps
I don't know how you were diverted
You were perverted too
I don't know how you were inverted
No one alerted you
I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
Look at you all...
Still my guitar gently weeps
24 Hey Jude (03:59)
Hey Jude, don't make it bad
take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
Hey Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better
And anytime you feel the pain
Hey Jude refrain
don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool
who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Na na na na na
na na na na
Hey Jude don't let me down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember to let her into your heart
then you can start to make it better
So let it out and let it in
Hey Jude begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you
Hey Jude, you'll do
The movement you need is on your shoulder
Na na na na na
na na na na yeah
Hey Jude, don't make it bad
take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better
Better, better, better, better, better, oh
Na, na na na na na na
na na na na, hey Jude
Na, na na na na na na
na na na na, hey Jude
Na, na na na na na na
na na na na, hey Jude
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By onasacaciredef
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Based on high-fidelity audio nostalgia (a real pleasure) and well-known notes.
