Last night I discovered that Sufjan Stevens would premiere on YouTube his new album together with his stepfather Lowell Brams (yes, the Lowell from "Carrie & Lowell"), so I went to listen to it and it was like putting your balls in a centrifuge. There is a name for this kind of music and it’s “stuff already done by M83 back in the 'Dead Cities, etc.' days,” but you can also call it “moody ambient meant for the prairies” or alternatively gnu dung. In short, if you don't want to become a eunuch and generally care about preserving your dignity, in addition to stopping with erotic fantasies about Angel Olsen, you should also heed my advice, close this page, and forget about the existence of this stuff forever.

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