Slipknot
Iowa

THE REVIEW

The whole World was in turmoil: the house of liberty had organized a demonstration along with the AIA (Italian association of drain cleaning) in front of the Senate building to demonstrate with a certain finesse of thought what they thought of the left, "An idea of Calderoli" insisted Follini. Bossi had gone to live in Switzerland, where the good air had benefited his health, and now he had stopped talking like a sewing machine. Meanwhile, Berlusconi cried on Castagna's grave, murmuring that the Communists would pay for this too, and on that occasion, he called his old friends from the Lodge.
On the other side was Fassino, who was visibly gaining weight and said that Berlusconi's hair, after the electoral campaign, was less thick. On Ballarò, they were interviewing Moggi, who demanded a face-to-face American-style debate with Galliani. The journalists, on the other hand, invaded the life of a more sensitive footballer, dining at the bar he ate at, equipped with flowers from the florist he visited, and dining at the restaurant he went to.

Life was beautiful, but it lacked that Brutal touch that makes us brutallari like me so happy. For this reason, I went on the internet site where they clone credit cards and screw you over if you send them in a sealed envelope to order myself a Brutal CD: only on Brutal sites like these can you buy good Brutal CDs. Scrolling through the band names, there were many interesting ones like Gastric Lavender, the Verruca, the HeadImpaledOnASharpPole, the SeveredGenitalsInAPusLake, the Deicide, the Cannibal Cadaver, the Morbid Angel, the Malignant Creation, and many more. But the ones that caught my attention that day were the Nodo Scorsoio, which by the name were very Brutal; moreover, on the cover, there was a very evil and malignant black satanic goat, which reminded me of the good times with the Glenn Bentos black brotherhood, nights spent by the fires, eating sausages, and talking about girls… Nostalgia got the better of me, and here I am now, waiting for the arrival of "Iowa" (perhaps it is a magic word to evoke the evil and black lord, the ruthless Satan who will never know God's mercy).

Some days have passed, and there is still no sign of Iowa… everything is happening in my house… my mother is watching almost intelligent programs, talking about cooking and not people on an island. My father, instead of wasting money on erotic Chat Lines, has found himself a decent job as a tram driver: and my sister? Well, she's never been Brutal and in fact, she continues to say what's right and what’s not, perched on the shelves in my room. We needed something Brutal, also because my parents have always been Brutal, and I was born Brutal because they were; my sister was recessive instead and indeed was not Brutal.
One day the doorbell rang; I expected it was the postman and indeed I had come down with a bottle to kill him since he had interrupted me while I was trying to make an aerosol with the gas in the refrigerator coil. Naturally, I had first Brutally smashed it all, arousing my mom's anger, who fortunately had become less Brutal by watching cooking programs instead of those where people argue and was perhaps more Power/Epic, and indeed she was shouting "Come here, I challenge you to a duel." I didn't mind because I only respect Death, Brutal, Grind, and a little Thrash, but not Power and Epic at all. And then now I had to kill the postman! Instead, I go down, and it's the milkman, who seeing me with the bottle in hand fills it with milk… then I notice the milkman has a clown mask and a colorful suit, which seems a bit strange to me… I accept the milk because maybe mom will need it to practice what she learned from a whole day spent in front of cooking programs, but the strange character also gives me "Iowa", the disc of nodo scorsoio… then he smashes all the milk bottles on his head and tells me to tell my friends what he did, the clown milkman. "Brutal," I think as I head home with the milk in hand. I deliver it to mom who in the meantime had stopped watching cooking programs and had returned to those where they bash their heads live due to love issues: in fact, she doesn’t want it anymore and says she only uses fat and health-damaging things like margarine, not milk. This is a good sign, mom is back to being Brutal: also dad is back to being Brutal; in fact, by ten in the morning, he is already home because he got fired. The nodo scorsoio CD has devastating effects!!! I open the CD, and it's all extremely Brutal: there are nine members in the group, all masked, secret, unknown, mad, evil, frenetic, and extremely Brutal!!!! Even the lyrics are very Brutal, although they seem more like baby Brutallari than true Brutallari to me. But it doesn't matter, these guys are REALLY CRAZY, I wonder how they manage to stay in the studio without killing each other… they probably fill them with those sticky and green psycho-pills, the ones you can then do a sea of things with… the CD is very Brutal, but it's not at all Brutal… indeed, the guy with the mask and braids doesn't vomit but only screams… I start being skeptical… but they are really sick!! How cool are the Nodo Scorsoio… they are really tough and then they lash out at the world without a hint of irony, so they must really be tough.

I've noticed that when you go around saying you listen to the Nodo Scorsoio everyone takes you for a truly tough guy, except for my old friends like Glenn Benton and Chris Barnes, who now don’t talk to me anymore and laugh behind my back… their loss, meanwhile, the girls notice me now that I listen to the nodo scorsoio, because I come across as a tough, interesting, and mysterious guy, like the faces hiding behind those nine masks… with the Nodo Scorsoio you pick up a lot because they seem much more Brutal than they actually are… I wonder how Brutal they must be to always wear masks and give these Brutal interviews… then I get the sad news that they will participate in the San Remo festival, which is not at all Brutal, and this disappoints me greatly… instead others like it a lot, and I pick up even more! "Picking up is Brutal," but not picking up is much more Brutal" says James Murphy of the Necrologio, who came around here to go to the fairs. "Disguising oneself to make money is Brutal, but not disguising oneself to not make money is much more so," adds Chris Barnes of the Cannibal Cadaver who was instead competing in a speed race with Gorge Fisher on his chariot… I'm convinced, I hand Glenn the nodo scorsoio disc, so he will sacrifice it on the altar soaked with blood of innocent victims dedicated to Satan, the precious but damaging artifact. "When the lord of evil comes, even real Brutallari will pick up, not just the masked ones," and with these words, Glenn puts an end to my Casanova adventure.