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Rating: Welcome to the 70th edition of the SSANREMOOO festival. The only singing competition where there are more guests than singers, where jokes never fail, and a big laugh will make you forget those five sleepless nights BECAUSE OF US. Joking aside, it was terrifying: too many guests, most of whom could have been avoided, jokes taking up entire half-hours of five-hour broadcasts, and a singing competition used more as a pretext to watch Sanremo (and during the first evenings, it seems that the competing songs are used as a filler for the broadcast). Here is the chronicle of a man who stayed awake for five nights to watch the cosmic void:
FIRST NIGHT
The first night was on the brink between nonsense and seriousness. There were many moments of impossible embarrassment: the atrocious monologue by Diletta Leotta about HER GRANDMOTHER, utterly useless. And it's not even over: Achille Lauro stripping on stage is something senseless, if not to cause a stir and go viral (unfortunately, he will dress impossibly for the next evenings too). Moreover, his song isn't good; I actually miss Rolls Royce, which was beautiful in comparison. Things that surprised and pleased me were mostly some songs in the competition: Rita Pavone is unstoppable, she has more energy than many others. Diodato brings a touching piece, with a sensitivity that is hard to find nowadays. Anastasio nailed it, I say without much shame: Rosso di rabbia is deserved, it is by no means a trivial song. Unfortunately, some songs suck like the festival itself: Le vibrazioni pound your head with that annoying Dov'è, Alberto Urso brings an anonymous and boring piece, Riki is still too immature, just like his song. Total ugliness, zero content (apart from Jebreal's speech, one of the highest moments of Sanremo), flat broadcast, monstrous boredom.
SECOND NIGHT
It was the best night (it didn't take much): despite the competition still being used as a filler, and here more than ever, the best songs of the festival are all here: Pinguini tattici nucleari make a pop piece but of good quality, Rancore sings complex but impactful things, Levante makes you both dance and think, Zarillo is in excellent form, Pelù is tender but not boring, and Junior Cally brings the most committed song of the festival. I'm in such a good mood that I won't even comment on Fiorello De Filippi, Gabbani who brings an easy pop, Gigi D'Alessio and Zucchero who make us stay up later, and Ricchi e poveri who sing their entire discography. It sucks, but some songs have quality.
THIRD NIGHT
Thank heaven Fiorello is missing, who at the festival is as useful as a thorn in the foot. Tonight covers, between highs and lows: Paolo Jannacci sings his father very well, Pinguini tattici nucleari do a monstrously awesome medley, Anastasio raps and brings PFM along, Tosca moves well in Piazza Grande, and Pelù manages to shake the stage with Cuore matto. Terrible Junior Cally singing Vado al massimo at the minimum, Masini destroying Vacanze romane, and Bugo bringing a jumbled cover. As for guests, we are always on a usual base of trash.
FOURTH NIGHT
Let's just not go there: Fiorello is annoying with his gags, Ghali is senseless, and all the guests are annoying. The songs are the usual, but I've reassessed some: Raphael Gualazzi did a danceable piece of good musical quality, Elettra Lamborghini has done worse, but only now do I realize how Enrico Nigiotti's piece is of absurd banality and superficiality. Ah yes, then there's Bugo and Morgan arguing, Bugo leaves the stage, and they get disqualified: unexpected yet useless (come on, in the end, their piece was kinda nice). I have nothing else to add, a Bugo of luck
GRAND FINALE
The songs flow like a river, the guests diminish, and everything seems to be going well. Then comes the ranking: Diodato, Gabbani, and Pinguini tattici nucleari vie for first place. But first, how about some more jokes from Fiorello? Really, that's enough, you've annoyed us, haven't let us sleep for five days, reveal this damn podium? After Fiorello, here's the third place revealed: Pinguini tattici nucleari. Then an hour of Fiorello messing with the autotune, Diletta Leotta doing useless performances, and guests... IT'S 2 AM FOR GOD'S SAKE REVEAL THE DAMN WINNER!!!! And after five days spent suffering from lack of sleep, the most useless broadcast ever, and some songs of unmatched ugliness, here it is: the winner is...DIODATO. Well, he deserves it.
You probably can't understand what it was; I've spent the last days staying up late to watch something I hate just because it's about music. This just to find out what would happen this year: Italian music is dying, the quality of the songs and pieces is becoming poor, there's a lot of trash and some pearls. Now I can say: Italian music is dying, but it can still survive. And seeing Diodato win makes me happy: his piece is quite classic but original, which is what's missing from almost all the artists today. Now I'm going to sleep, goodbye, and let's hope that in 2021 the Ariston explodes along with Fiorello
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