Roberto Albanesi
Non nuotate in quel fiume

DO NOT SWIM IN THAT RIVER by Roberto Albanesi (Italy 2015) We are faced with a strange, very strange film. Why? Because this feature film (not too long) of 70 minutes defies any sort of categorization. A work as far from the mainstream as it is from classic independent cinema. It's far from the mainstream for obvious economic reasons (80 euros is the stated budget from the production) while it's light-years away from independent due to its plot (especially how it's developed) and the staging. The plot, precisely: The story is written by the director himself and features Bruce, Stefano, and Luigi (Ivan Brusa, Luca Zibra, and Stefano Galli) as three small-time criminals running out of time after swiping a drug stash from the mysterious and fascinating BOSS (Roberta Nicosia): to save their lives, they must deliver a briefcase, but the delivery location is a cursed river, where numerous people have disappeared and a ruthless masked serial killer roams. Essentially, it is an Italian-transposed slasher, but here's the interesting part; Everything that starts as "a homage to the 80s, to the slasher, this and that" becomes something new in the hands of a director who knows his stuff, both in the staging (sparse, due to necessity) but especially in the writing. This is what makes it different from anything ever produced in the Italian indie circuit, because what seems to be a work already "predicted" from the outset becomes something else and constantly wrong-foots the viewer, thus entertaining them. A few words about the director: Roberto Albanesi (born in '86) makes his feature-length debut here. The film was shot between Lodigiano and the Piacentine valleys in the summer of 2015 and completed in early 2016. A self-taught talent raised on bread and films, with his factory New Old Story, he has already created interesting works, revealing both a horror and a more comic/satirical vein: we recall the very cruel short film Happy Easter (disturbing torture-porn), a chapter for the collectives The Pyramid (distributed direct to video in Japan, Canada, and the United States), and 17 at Midnight (a protagonist with a black-comedy), and the frame of Lorenzo Lepori's horror Catacomb (which will see a DTV distribution throughout Italy from this October). In short, Albanesi cut his teeth before diving into this project, and so he is not at all someone who tries while crossing his fingers. I earlier spoke of the DEVELOPMENT OF THE PLOT and the STAGING as the strong points of this work. The VHS patina (in the true sense of the word) makes the viewing even more nostalgic, as the influence of the 80s and the "most rundown b-movie videocassettes" is not only evident but is declared by the author himself. This can only EXCITE the most nostalgic viewer and surprise those encountering this sort of viewing for the first time (and, who knows, perhaps annoy younger viewers with the low quality). The cast: Around 60% of the participants in the film are not professional actors (and maybe not even amateur ones), but given the type of work and the overall auto-irony, they work very well for the parts they need to portray. The remaining 40% consists of people who know their stuff, above all mentioning Ivan Brusa, Stefano Galli, Roberta Nicosia, Jack Gallo, and the gigantic (in my humble opinion) William Angiuli and Paolo Riva. The characterization of all the characters is fun and never two-dimensional, despite the excessively short duration of the film (more on that later). The Music (with a capital M) is the jewel in the crown of the film. Composed by Alberto Masoni (I Rec U, Alienween among others), they are a delight for the ear raised on bread and 80s synth. The musical supervision is by Oscar Perticoni, an Italopolish composer with a long and fruitful career. Enveloping and never hammering, they help those who watch and listen to immerse themselves more deeply in a world that, with the closure of the good old video stores, no longer exists except in our memories; Memories that NNIQF constantly tickles. The flaws in this film are not absent, the biggest being the short duration that abruptly cuts a story that could (and should) have lasted longer, to better explore many nuances truncated by the frantic pace of the work. No big deal, because the announcement just came that a sequel has begun to take shape, just as I'm writing to you. I therefore recommend purchasing this film that might or might not be liked, but will certainly leave no one indifferent. Cult moments: - The furious Chinese like a snake - Paolo Riva - Ilona - The monologues of Basile and the Boss - That red thread in the woods that you keep pulling more and more until it takes away... (I'll let you find out for yourselves) Full sufficiency and then some. If only there were more works like this around, maybe in our cinemas; But perhaps it's better this way, to enjoy them more and better in front of our TV, with a beer in hand and an irresistible desire to take a refreshing swim in the nearest river... BUT BEWARE! P.S. A special mention to the marvelous poster by Giorgio Credaro, which screams "EXPLOITATION!!!" from every angle.