Rob Zombie
31

When I saw House of 1000 Corpses, I instantly fell hopelessly in love with Rob Zombie's cinema.

A love letter to a certain '70s horror genre that centered around the revenge of the rejects (of the devil), red-neck bloodthirsty and cannibalistic maniacs, which ushered in the era of splatter and grand-guignol on film. Some even (cut off a finger) compared this dazzling debut to a sort of remake of the legendary Texas Chainsaw Massacre (nonapritequellaporta in Italy) by Toby Hooper.

All in a post-modern, decidedly pulp key, where the echoes of master Quentin Tarantino constantly and harmoniously reverberated so much that, from the writer's perspective, Rob Zombie was defined as the Tarantino of horror. However, I don't believe the undead Rob would appreciate this comparison, but who cares, after all?

The Firefly family (of the thousand corpses) returned despite being banished even by the devil, in a surprising raw, scorched, and worn-out road movie. A film less goofy than the previous one, technically more focused, and with a skin-tearing finale.

Then, come what may, Rob directed two remakes of the great John Carpenter's Halloween saga, an operation clearly dismissed as a "concept" by yours truly and the curious The Lords of Salem, which didn't hide its auteur aspirations but made more than one fan wince, as they were accustomed to the sadistic eviscerations of those Firefly rogues.

And already 15 years have passed between the debut in 2001 and this 31 in 2016.

With 31, Rob Zombie returns to his roots.

Set in 1976 during the Halloween period.

Again the '70s, again Halloween, again the American South, Texas... with its dust, tobacco, and whiskey, once more the hippies in not-doing any business.

We are immediately introduced to this mood right from the opening titles, beautifully grainy and more '70s than ever, but even before the opening titles, we witness a magnificent prologue in black and white and quickly meet Doom-Head, a really not-bad bloodthirsty madman who eviscerates and kills with great gusto but does so only for money—it's just a job...

Yes, because 31 is nothing more than a game, those little games bored rich people play by kidnapping a handful of hapless individuals, maybe some stoned hippies in a van, locking them inside a structure, like an abandoned warehouse, and they have 12 hours to make it out alive. During these 12 hours, they will be hunted at various levels, like a video game (indeed) by their decidedly picturesque executioners. And it's in this aspect that the film flounders (alla millecorpi but with much less gusto and style), presenting us a gallery of characters as evil as they are ridiculous. The Spanish dwarf Sick-Head, for example, half-naked with a large swastika tattooed on his abdomen, two filthy and evil clown brothers armed with chainsaws, a giant half-German and half-retarded and his sexy and insanely crazy sister...

It will be a relentless manhunt, there's blood, there's fun, you won't get bored, but neither will you be involved. The film has minimal depth, and if you're not a fan of the genre, it's strongly advised against viewing.

A robbè-zzo… you're good, but after 15 years, you've circled back to the thousands of corpses... what are we gonna do with you?