Roadrunner United
All-star Sessions

"'Captains' Joey Jordison (Slipknot), Dino Cazares (ex-Fear Factory/Brujeria), Robert Flynn (Machine Head) and Matthew Heafy (Trivium) play on the songs they have written and have also assembled a unique team of artists to appear on each track. Including contributions from such metal luminaries as Corey Taylor, Paul Gray and Jim Root of Slipknot, Howard Jones and Mike D. from Killswitch Engage, Peter Steele and Josh Silver from Type O Negative, Dez Fafara of DevilDriver/Coal Chamber fame, Mark Hunter of Chimaira, King Diamond and members of Opeth, Machine Head, Fear Factory, Trivium, Sepultura, Soulfly, Deicide, Life of Agony and many, MANY more - this is an album in which the whole is even greater than the sum of it's parts. If you are a fan of METAL - be it black, death, thrash, trad, 'core or whatever the hell you want to call it - pick this album up because it is truly a testament to 25 years of the best metal has to offer all on one CD. Also includes an hour long bonus DVD on the making of the album."

ZERO So, I felt it was necessary to include (copy-paste) the presentation made on the Roadrunner site for this project... which I consider, and I'm not at all ashamed to say it, a real and true filthy TRASH. This shit represents the level of baseness and self-circumcision that the so-called "alternative metal" scene has reached in the last, let's say, at least eight years.

Let me explain: in 1994 a record by a group named Korn was released, which together with another group named Rage Against the Machine, represented a new and fresh way of understanding metal music, always anchored in the same ports, and that now seemed to sail towards new horizons in sight of new ports... Shortly thereafter, scavenger labels, of which Roadrunner Records is more than a valid example, if not the most fitting, boasting of not being on the payroll of the major market, thought it well to increasingly promote cheap bands with some Marshall amps and some seven-string Ibanez guitars, as well as quintals of cum in their bodies, just enough to copy verbatim the formula that was so in vogue: behold then even sacred monsters or promising youngsters (see the various Sepultura, Machinehead, Fear Factory, etc...), dazzled by the "new American dream of Metal", ventured into absolute nothingness never to return. This repeated continuously, to the extreme delight of the majors who thus saw the juicy possibility to make rivers of dollars even with what, underneath, they also considered shit (only because their IQ doesn't allow them to see music beyond, I don't know, Frank Sinatra... but as long as there is money to squeeze from consumers... so be it!!).

The years went on to the sound of turds shat by the worst assholes who ever stained the most famous stages in the world with their presence: a Fred Durst praising Tool and Helmet? May God, or the Devil, (both are the same) save me!!? The Slayer boys cozying up to those masked jerks from Slipknot, saying in interviews that they are the best band they've ever known in 15 years of career??!! I've always said they were idiots too, despite Reign In Blood... Max Cavalera taking his 14-year-old nephew on tour to play the macho and sing the choruses of Bleed during concerts??? Give me a break!!!! Give me back Phil Anselmo... And now I find myself with this little crappy album in hand, borrowed from a friend, who (Oh!) considers himself a true metalhead, one of those with the gloomy chick, long black hair, chains around the neck with a pentacle bought at Montagnola, and with foul breath that smells of stale Montenegro... who when you greet her, she turns the other way because you no longer wear the Machinehead t-shirt, like a few years ago, but an innocuous wool sweater (it's winter, it's cold, you know how it is?!)... Robb Flynn and Dino Cazares firing off some almost death-metal riff (which, who would have thought?, is now in fashion), Joey from Slipknot, with his usual damn mask, sampling his drum kit, he's too lazy to play it, and another idiot who must be around eighteen, who has at best heard some Death records (too heavy, too much... he must have said...); and I have to stomach the nonsense that "whatever I think METAL is... then I MUST have this album!!!! Precisely because I know well what metal is, instead I PISS on this album, and I forgive bands like Opeth, guests on one song; while I expect to meet the usual (jerk) known faces: Dez Fafara (isn't he dead yet?), Keith Caputo (what the hell does he have to do with it??), the usual Slip-morons loud and ignorant as mussels, Dino Cazares, the fat guy with the tiny dick, who makes porn films just because in America (but by now everywhere...) you just wave a couple of thousand dollars, and you screw whoever you want, and you can even feel "the King of Metal"... two or three other upstarts who learned to play guitar yesterday, and just because now they have a skull tattoo on their ass, they feel "metal"...

BAHHHHHHH They are right to call this album the testament to 25 years of Metal history... because guys, if this is what you mean by Metal, well then I must say it is truly dead and buried!!!!!! Finally... to each their own taste... but at least do a collective soul-searching. ZERO