Poptones
The Major Man

THE REVIEW

Today I wanted to talk about a band from my hometown that are friends with my brother, and I saw them last night playing live in a small venue. They are called Poptones, but contrary to their name, they don't use pop tones, but the magnetic thunderous tones of the atomic distortions of their pedals. They are only three of them but make noise just like Slipknot, who are nine, even though they're masked but play different music from Slipknot. In fact, Poptones play alternative music like the Pixies, even if the bass is louder.

The album, which has only 8 songs, begins with "Side A" which, however, doesn't have vocals, and it's the only track I like a little less than all the others. Then they put "Media Park" and I forgave them all because that's my favorite track, and there's Filippone screaming like when you fall down the stairs of grandma's basement and playing the bass, then Ettore hits the drums like the Chinese do with their wives when they return home, and then Simone plays the guitar impeccably as only he can. Then "High Rise" which is the track even my aunt likes, who came into my room and told me "finally you're listening to some proper music," and in fact it's light and there are melodies everyone likes. Next is "The Major Man" which speaks bluntly to all those who want to sell the records unbeknownst to those playing, with effects at the beginning before Ettore's drum kicks in straight like a row of Peroni beers. Then there's the album's surprise "Side B" where there's electronics and effects like Gigi D'Agostino but I like it anyway because it makes me laugh and it's short! Next comes "Fake Intellectuals" which is furious like Orlando after they steal Durlindana as my Italian teacher says. Then they put "Baby" which is the most western track worthy of Sergio Morricone where Filippone plays the electric guitar, not the acoustic guitar as every respectable western has. The last track is "Cursed Highway" which is as long as pig orgasms even though it lasts 6 minutes instead of 30 because pigs are pigs, but in this, they're better than humans and it has a very long tail of noise where anything and everything happens.

The album is short, but it's really great and in fact, I really like it, and I would love for you to listen to it too!