Pig Destroyer
38 Counts Of Battery

THE REVIEW

In all the coolest catechisms of this poor country called Italy, we are taught a very famous phrase, always published in all the Novella 3000, and especially present in its original text called, if I'm not mistaken, the Bible:

"In the beginning was Metal, and Metal was with God, and Metal was God"

There's no need for me to continue, all metalheads know exactly what I'm referring to, and indeed, this phrase exposes a crucial theme about the relationship man has with music, which is that METAL IS THE ULTIMATELY SUPERIOR MUSIC!!! Some understand it right away and start listening to Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple from a young age, then they move on to brutal jazz music and eventually reach (as it should be) the supreme enlightenment in honor of a truly religious and devoted listening experience to sacred gutting at the right moments in life.

My task today is to review "38 Counts of Battery," the album that introduces the "Pig Destroyers" to the grind-core scene... it's very difficult to succeed in this endeavor, given that Coltrain has always tried to denigrate and vilify these phenomenal bands with a heart of gold, especially the critics of Martoriante music, but we do not back down in the face of such pettiness...

38 tracks of pure sonic AGONY, the bass is nonexistent but we like it that way, after all, every refined element of planet Earth comes from raw materials, it's known that Jimi Hendrix, after a depressing career start alongside John Coltrain, would later unleash an unexpected brutal-jazz that kicked off the Grind-core appreciated today by all the genre's devotees... What connects Metal with Grind-core? If you pay close attention, the Bible text continues:

"Everything was made through Grind-core, and without Grind-core nothing was made that exists" ...you can understand...

This album is not easy listening, you definitely need to have a Hatred beyond any limit to appreciate certain sounds, but we are connoisseurs, we don't stop at appearances, the pig must be dismembered before eating it... some tracks make you feel like your eardrum is about to pop, but it's like savoring silence, you're okay with it... you think that Coltrain, in the end, left us something good to enjoy...

The first seventeen tracks in my opinion are neither the same nor different, the 18th is my absolute favorite, "Pixie," slow and devastating, I truly believe the drummer is the one who holds the massacre throughout the album, with "Pixie" grind is not just speed, but also reflection. Then come 3 covers... at this point, even "indie rock" listeners can admit the technical superiority of grind music, alongside Scott Hull's deep devotion to metal... I would also like to remind you of the presence of an intro taken from the Buddhist film "Salò," and here we understand that grind is above all wisdom... the album continues with these 38 machine gun shots...

I would like to happily remind you of the most famous tracks recommended by David Gilmour: "Three-Second Apocalypse," "Fingers in the Throat," "High Forms of Pornography," "Honeymoon Journey," "Burning with Sodomy," "Delusional of Superiority"... I think that's enough...

In conclusion, trying to shed a sliver of light for the non-believers:

"THE DEVASTATING SLASHING IS A MASSACRE FOR THE FEW, BUT THOSE FEW WILL SLASH IN THE NAME OF JOHN COLTREIN"

(cit. Gilmour)