Characters
LUPUS, a clever and talkative servant.
PAMPHILUS, a master who fancies himself a philosopher.
UXOR, a practical and impatient wife.
MIMO, a wandering actor.
PAMPHILUS: Alas, Lupus! The world is corrupted!
LUPUS: Since when? Since this morning or since the invention of wine?
PAMPHILUS: Since men started listening to songs and believed they understood life.
LUPUS: So it’s Gaber’s fault?
PAMPHILUS: Gaber did worse: he made you believe you were the problem.
LUPUS: That’s a form of economy. He saved the cost of an enemy.
UXOR: Nonsense! You men listen to two songs and think you’re philosophers. Then you can’t find the sandals you’re wearing on your feet.
PAMPHILUS: Woman, do not interrupt lofty philosophy!
UXOR: Lofty? I’ve seen it higher in a puddle.
LUPUS: Madam, the master is reflecting on the human condition.
UXOR: He should start with his own condition: he still has to pay the baker.
(MIMO enters with a mask and a little bell.)
MIMO: Make way! I bring theater, satire, and confusion!
LUPUS: Ah, a follower of Dario Fo!
MIMO: Follower? I follow anyone who offers me food.
PAMPHILUS: And what do you perform?
MIMO: I perform the people, the powerful, and the fools.
LUPUS: Three different shows?
MIMO: No, often all it takes is switching hats.
UXOR: At least this one speaks plainly.
PAMPHILUS: But tell me: who is greater, Gaber or Jannacci?
LUPUS: Dangerous question. It’s like asking whether bread or wine is more useful.
MIMO: Or a wife or a lover.
UXOR: Careful, actor. I possess both the rolling pin and the memory.
MIMO: I immediately retract what I said!
PAMPHILUS: Gaber questioned consciences.
LUPUS: And Jannacci questioned the madmen.
MIMO: Discovering that often they were wiser than the sane.
UXOR: And both of them understood men better than men understood themselves.
PAMPHILUS: So, does art exist to know the world?
LUPUS: No, master. It serves to endure it.
MIMO: And to laugh at it.
UXOR: Especially at husbands.
PAMPHILUS: Always against me!
LUPUS: It’s the fate of the comic protagonist.
MIMO: And of the citizen.
UXOR: And of the husband.
PAMPHILUS: By Jove, at least leave me one category!
LUPUS: Impossible. As Gaber, Jannacci and Fo teach, the moment you take yourself too seriously, someone comes along to make you look like a fool.
UXOR: And usually that someone is the wife.
(All laugh. Except Pamphilus, who didn’t get the joke.) peggio: condizione: ditemi: