CECCO ANGIOLIERI, Rime (LXXXVI), ca. 1280-1310
Here comes the blow from the caspish, chargingaaaaa!

If I were fire, I would burn the world;
if I were wind, I would storm it;
if I were water, I would drown it;
if I were God, I'd send it to the depths;

if I were pope, I would then be joyful,
for I would ensnare all Christians;
if I were emperor, you know what I would do?
I would behead them all round.

If I were death, I would go to my father;
if I were life, I would flee from him:
similarly, I would do from my mother,