Listening to this CD, I can only think of one thing: I wanted to be there too!
I wanted to be there among the thousands of people bowing before their (and my) idol. I wanted to be present when Kurt writhed on stage, when he spat at the cameras, or when he didn't care about the dollars spent and destroyed the guitar.
I wanted to be there when the blonde angel screamed his anger into that microphone in the form of childish âeeeeeehâ while Dave âplayedâ with his drums. I wanted to be glued to some other fan, shoving, screaming together during âSchool.â I wanted to be there to listen to âDrain You,â because in the interlude of âDrain You,â a friend of mine told me he had always felt something satanic: he imagined that in hell there was that insistent drum that increased as you got closer to the entrance, and that guitar scratching with every flame coming out of the earth's bowels; up to here it's true, then he thought the door opened and there he was playing. No! The devil doesn't deserve Kurt: a funny and sarcastic angel who dresses as a woman to sing one of his most beautiful songs (âAunerysmâ) cannot end up down there.
I wanted to be there when they played their âLosing My Religionâ and forgive me if the comparison might be bold, but this is âSmells Like Teen Spiritâ for Nirvana. I would have loved to go wild with âBeen A Sonâ or to stay calm during the verse of âLithiumâ and then grab some ecstatic fan and throw him in the air to the rhythm of âyeeeeeeeah yeah!â in the chorus.
ââMom and dad went to the show...â and I'm at the Nirvana concert,â maybe it even sounded good as a phrase, but I never got the chance to say it because I wasn't there; I wasn't there when they played one of my favorite songs âHeart Shaped Boxâ; I would have told Kurt âHey, waitâ while he was getting ready to pull the trigger, but that, I think, no one could have done but himself.
I would have appreciated the quirky guitar intro of âMilk Itâ played as âit comesâ and the verse lyrics sung just the same. I would have loved the revolution applied to the calm âPollyâ; who knows if I would have made it home alive after the shocking âTouretteâsâ! Unfortunately, in 1994, when Kurt decided that Nirvana had to end there, I was a tender 10-year-old. I got to know them later, and the most I could do was sit down, listen to this CD with my eyes closed, and imagine myself there among the crowd.