Nile
Ithyphallic

The Nile: who doesn't know the Nile? Everyone knows the Nile and everyone buys their records (in fact, they are one of the few Death bands that manage to make a living from music). I'm sure everyone bought "Ithyphallic" and I'm sure everyone liked it. But I didn't.

It's happened to everyone, I think, to go to a public restroom so lost in thought that you pee everywhere except in the intended hole. It's happened to everyone. Yes, it's happened to everyone, including the Nile; oh well, I don't know what Sanders and his crew do in the intimacy of a public toilet, but I know for sure that when they went to the studio in 2006 to compose "Ithyphallic" (released in 2007), they did everything except what I wanted them to compose (if the metaphor is not clear, I would be the toilet, the Nile are the ones peeing, and the mediocre songs of "Ithyphallic" are the splashes of pee off target).

Those who discovered them with "Amongst The Catacombs Of Nephren Ka" will remember that strange band that mixed Brutal Death metal with typical Egyptian melodies, sometimes even using traditional instruments. Those who listened to "Black Seeds of Vengeance" will add to the previous description a monstrous dose of technique. Those who discovered them with "In Their Darkened Shrines" and "Annihilation Of The Wicked" will instead speak of one of the most innovative, technical, and ass-kicking Brutal Death bands around, capable of fusing musical elements of Ancient Egypt with the darkness and violence typical of Brutal while also imbuing them with an imposing and grand atmosphere. Well, the recipe remains the same, but this time the doughnut wasn't made with the hole.

"Ithyphallic" is boring, so boring: what was baroque in "Annihilation Of The Wicked" here becomes Kitsch, what was dark becomes bland, what was superlative becomes mediocre. A real step back from what they had worked hard to achieve with the two previous albums: a record that feels forced and often descends into banality.

First of all, I didn't like that Sanders, guitarist and vocalist, limited himself to playing and no longer sang significantly. The Growl of the other is, in fact, all the same and without duets, it becomes boring. Secondly, I don't understand what happened to Sanders; he fires off solos in a completely random manner, using almost exclusively the whammy bar. Third, the drummer; he's very precise and fast, but honestly, Laureano was something else.

Some nice riffs (though decidedly second-hand) can be found in "Eat Of The Dead", a song in which we are not spared one of those silly solos that the Nile hadn't accustomed us to. Failed attempts to return to the ethnic-instrumental glory of "Black Seeds of Vengeance" instead emerge in "The Infinity Of Stone", a useless and rather ugly instrumental track of about two minutes. Cartoonish melodies open "Even The Gods Must Die"; a concluding pachyderm of over ten minutes; a "plastic" song that tries to become "Annihilation Of The Wicked II" were it not for the whiny acoustic guitars at the end.

But the worst is yet to come; the Nile were so short of ideas that they had to recycle the opening of the old "Stones Of Sorrow" in "What May Safely Be Written". And then what does the guitarist do? Another silly and boisterous solo that further lowers the song's rating.

From here, we arrive at the ridiculousness of a song titled "Papyrus Containing The Spell To Preserve Its Possessor Against The Attacks From He Who Is In The Waters"; a little song that, despite the lengthy title, lasts less than three minutes and tries to mimic the extremely fast tracks of their previous records. The result is not the same; the riffs are extremely technical but all identical, more aimed at highlighting the technical aspect than that fantastic blend of Egyptian culture and extreme Metal. In short, they seem like difficult guitar pieces sprinkled into a melody that has nothing to do with Ancient Egypt but would very much like to somehow (which is exactly the opposite of what the Nile should be doing). The Title Track is the only one making a decent impression or, if you prefer, the only pee that ends up in the toilet.

Neither I nor you like Track By Track, but since I'm speaking ill of none other than the Nile, I felt it was necessary to detail what is wrong and invite you to notice the differences with previous albums. "Ithyphallic", I'm sorry to say, is disappointing; probably compared to Brutal Death standards it looks great, but compared to the fine discography of our Americans, it barely reaches adequacy. An uninspired album, permeated by a flatness that not even their amazing technique can lift; and the blame, I'm even sorrier to say, is not entirely on an inadequate and overly clean production. To exacerbate the situation, B-series arrangements, another punch in the head to those who remembered the epic atmospheres of previous works.

In short, I could make you a second metaphor; if "In Their Darkened Shrines" (one of the two best alongside "Annihilation Of The Wicked") could be compared to a redundant but magnificent film like "Ben Hur", then "Ithyphallic" corresponds, continuing the cinematic comparison, to the ugly and "thrashy" "Troy".