Nikki and the Corvettes
Nikki and the Corvettes

Only the Ramones could release «Rockaway Beach» in the middle of winter, when the sun shines high in the sky, the asphalt burns, and the first thought is to hitch a ride to the beach ... And then, maybe they were even surprised by the commercial failure of the operation, I can almost see them.

But this is one of the many reasons why I will love them for eternity ... It has nothing to do with the present review, but any excuse is good to spare a thought for the Ramones.

In fact, the brothers have everything to do with Nikki And The Corvettes, considering that the three girls represent an ideal point of contact between any of the female vocal groups of the Fifties and Sixties (from the Chantals to the Velvettes, passing through any other formation of the genre that comes to mind) and the Ramones, indeed. So much so that they rival the latter for the title of the least technically skilled band on the planet, given that if the Ramones in «Blitzkrieg Bop» managed to guess at least three chords, Nikki and her companions struggled with two, at least at the time of their debut with the single «Young And Crazy / Criminal Element», a perfect example of how obtuse punk can be.

They didn't improve much afterwards, and thankfully, because in such contexts, ignorance often proves to be a godsend.

The only novelty in the transition from «Young And Crazy / Criminal Element» to the eponymous LP consists of the less raw and harsh sound; for the rest, the chords that the tracks rely on were two, and two they will always remain.

Nikki, Lori, and Sally come from Detroit, but the attitude is the opposite of MC5 and Stooges: as heavy and hard as those are, these are light and frivolous (musically). To be clear, a classic teenage girl group, Nikki And The Corvettes, dealing with the first sexual stirrings, as the cover and especially the back clearly show.

And so, in this record, our heroines tell us about the indispensability of losing one's head for boys («He's A Mover» and «Boys, Boys, Boys» are pearls of wisdom on the subject); of seducing them (to learn tactics, I recommend listening to «You're The One», «Just What I Need» and «I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend», where you learn how to make the prey feel important and the center of attention before devouring them); and to have a bit of fun with them (nothing better than «Back Seat Love», quite a program).

All shaken to the kinetic rhythm of the best bubblegum-punk-music of Ramonesian memory; only the Ramones chewed bubblegum occasionally, while Nikki And The Corvettes built an entire album on it. An album built on nothing, but absolutely delightful, one of those perfect records to blast at a party to warm up the atmosphere or in all those moments when it's okay to go crazy (colloquially known as fooling around).

Surely everyone remembers a song, «Girls Just Wanna Have Fun» by Cindy Lauper, and the boys certainly remember another one, «Boys» by Sabrina Salerno. Well, «Nikki And The Corvettes» is punk applied to them, one of the essential records for anyone who believes that the sole purpose of making music is to have fun and make others have fun.

In the United States, they used to say «Fun 1 - Effort 0»: as for me, Nikki, Lori, and Sally were the standard-bearers of such a philosophy of life.

And like every record of its kind, «Nikki And The Corvettes» is profoundly mood-based: you give it four stars if you come across it at the right moment; you give it two and leave it in oblivion if you encounter it at the wrong moment. I give it four, because it brings me too much joy, whenever I happen to put it on the turntable.

Final thought: imagine what could have happened if Nikki, Lori, and Sally had dated Joey, Johnny, and Dee Dee ...