Michelle Hunziker
From Noon Till Midnight

Michelle Hunziker gets on my nerves. Ok, I'm probably going to make quite a few enemies now because I know that for many of you guys your "little friend" moves to the rhythm of Michelle's jumps and shouts, just as I know that many of you proudly hold up the flag for half an hour of Striscia. But really, can you wake up a bit? Do you think a woman is just hot and nothing more?

Hunziker is someone who never sits still: she jumps, squeals, shouts, looks like she has a rubber face with all the grimaces she manages to make! Ok, she's hot, but can you imagine a life with her? You come home tired from work and she's spent all day doing nothing, jumping, shouting "Hellooooo!!!!!" making funny faces, always forcibly cheerful, making your head spin and even pissing you off. How long do you think you can stand it? Think it over, a whole life with that one, surely after two months you'd walk around the house with steel-reinforced safety shoes just to kick her better in the butt.

Eros Ramazzotti is a miracle: whatever you want to say about him, but he got rid of her once and for all, and what does he do? Nothing, he cries because he wants Michelle and dedicates his shitty songs to her. A special note: Ramazzotti is someone who, if he steps out on the street and snaps his fingers, he gets rained with beautiful women and he, certified fool, cries over her?

Anyway, Michelle Hunziker is living a drama: she hasn't had sex for a year. Now, moments like this can happen, it's not always possible to score. Normally, if it happens to us, we have our old remedies to solve the problem or maybe we try to make up for the lack by doing a lot of sports or starting some vice, maybe an extra cigarette, but we would never dream of starting to sing, right? But not Michelle. Not having sex? Fine, to fill the day, she decides to start singing and records a nice single with the related video clip. Important detail: the single was produced in Germany. Now the Germans, since they haven't forgotten the two pizzas we gave them at the World Cup, decided to take revenge with Michelle the singer, well knowing that only we Italian fools will buy her record.

Okay, let's talk about the single which is prophetically titled, "Want to do it from noon to midnight...". I was watching the video on my computer when the classic Windows blue screen popped up with this message: "WARNING, non-reversible error. If you don't get this off my system, it'll be your coma that is non-reversible....". So, believe me, with Hunziker singing, I think the figure of Paris Hilton can be rehabilitated. No, actually, from now on Hilton will have the value of a Mozart. In fact, you are authorized to plaster your rooms with her posters and your library with her videos. Listening to Hunziker's single leaves no room for comments other than to start an initiative. So, from today the initiative "A Dick for Hunziker" is open: everyone can participate, just send a photo of yourself and one of your asset (if necessary, point out which is the face and which is the asset) to the site http://www.michellehunziker.it/.

Please be fit because we need to prevent her abstinence from making her produce another single.