Micheal Bay
Bad Boys II

THE REVIEW

Micheal Bay.

The Gialappa's Band would categorize him with a simple "a man, a why". Indeed, there's plenty I'd like to ask this man. Why?, I'd like to ask him, are you such a braggart? It could be said that this man is a colossal buffoon, a breaded cabbage during snack time, incapable of making films that are beneficial to human survival. And all of this is true. Who cares!

However, there's a however. The aforementioned Micheal Bay has technical skills that are no laughing matter, he knows how to use the camera to perfection, every frame of his films could be hung in a room like a "poster", any actor filmed by him becomes a cool guy and he is the most productive thing on the market.

And so here we are at the crossroads (careful, let's not bring Ruggeri into this). Is he for real or just acting?

2003. Helicopters flying over the sunny streets of Miami. Two cops, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. A batch of Ecstasy from a Cuban smuggler. Bullets, flying cars, delirious jokes, and cheap floozies. That's the gist of "Bad Boys". And you might say, what's good in a film like this?

Micheal Bay is the Guru of action films, and any fan of such movies knows this well, his films are orgasmic. And thus "Bad Boys" finds a reason to exist. If one is looking for an action film where the jokes are casually printed on aspirin leaflets, they'll find exactly what they're looking for. But if you're also looking for a hint of psychological introspection of the characters, or the slightest logical sense, you'll be groping in the dark. "Bad Boys 2" is entertaining, braggart, never boring. It's up to the viewer to choose. After all, you know what you're getting into with Michael Bay involved...

So, it would be fitting to say a couple of things to Micheal.

"Do one thing. Before even remotely thinking of inserting frames filled with the most delirious American patriotism in your film, SING. Brush your teeth, don't be too soft in the action scenes, but be badass as only you know how to be. Avoid making every girl in your movie seem like a floozy, don't choose the usual Cuban as the villain. Don't make Will Smith the usual clown, though you're capable of making even Martin Lawrence look good. Cut it out with those helicopters. Get a shampoo, relax. And you'll see that the films you make will be the greatest tool you could ever have. So, dear Micheal, as Danny De Vito used to say, take the advice, just this once."