Martin Scorsese
The Irishman

The expectations were high.

THE IRISHMAN 201min with DE NIRO, AL PACINO, AND JOE PESCI!

The testament of MARTIN SCORSESE, the equivalent of ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA by SERGIO LEONE!

Not really.

STANLIO was right.

The review will be sloppy since it's a pan (when I pan, I don't write in a refined way).

An epic film, the saga of a man at the service of the mafia and politics, JFK, Cuba, Fidel Castro.

30-40 years of history that...

But what the hell!

The measure, when there's a lack of measure, when there's a lack of SENSE!

In short, there's De Niro who is very old (it suits him because Robert De Niro the actor is about eighty years old) in a nursing home and he recounts his youth.

And so yes, there he is, he's young! Uuuuh, look, he must be in his forties.

They give him BLUE eyes. He always has a static, rigid, squared expression, the mouth a slit (the smile like a bear trap, cit.). He always says yes and seems like the poor ROBIN WILLIAMS.

They rejuvenate him quite well even if it feels strange; after all, the film cost 190 million dollars, the computer effects are okay, but there's a fundamental detail that ruins everything.

HE HAS AN OLD BODY.

Hunched over, head sunken, wooden movements. And meanwhile, he KEEPS HAVING CHILDREN, time passes, he baptizes them.

JOE PESCI, on the other hand, is always OLD (ahaha) yes, okay, in the end he becomes SUPER OLD but he's always old and it's less disturbing.

AL PACINO doesn’t have much time to age. AL PACINO plays HOFFA (saint or mobster?) and he's brilliant. Anyway, it's true that whatever he does, he PACINIZES it. Here, he seems like the blind man from SCENT OF A WOMAN with a hint of the devil from THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE.

I watched it in the original version, and I must admit they are fantastic, hearing their voices and how they act, especially AL PACINO and JOE PESCI because ROBERT DE NIRO, young half-old old very old, is too disturbing, you see that young half-old old very old face, but the body is ALWAYS that of an eighty-year-old. And then, although he's always at the center of the film, he's a yes-man, he always says yes, makes faces, thinks, but then doesn't matter a damn.

Then they constantly perform fellatio on each other (how did it seem ...? speak well, huh? ... yes ... seems like General PATTON!) I don't know, even the dialogues and how they interact ... it's a florilegium of winks, strokes, career masturbation.

If you can't accept the premise of De Niro's face like MORK (nano-nano YOUR HAND) old man's body (and I couldn't accept it at all), you don't believe, you don't get involved, you don't empathize.

And then the story isn't much, the film is quite boring in its looong duration.

It doesn't even come close to ONCE UPON A TIME, doesn't even buy the milk at the local store for it.

On the positive side, it has the set design, acting, and, of course, the direction and the dry and sparse style free from sensationalism and bombastic soundtracks (this I appreciated)

I could say that all things considered, it deserves 3 stars, but for me, this young-old gimmick (on which the entire film, which is a story of 40 years, hinges) is a DEADLY BULLSHIT and indefensible. Take these two stars, MARTIN, maybe you've lost your marbles too.