Madonna
Hard Candy

THE REVIEW

Once upon a time, a Madonna album managed to entertain me, rarely to move me, but still to involve me. "Ray Of Light" was a successful incursion into electronics, an album that certainly claims the title of the most successful of the popstar, "Music" was definitely less successful, but you could find some decent songs, "American Life" was an exceptional incursion into electronic acoustic music that I really enjoyed.... and then "Confessions On A Dancefloor", not bad, but bordering on decency: let's admit it, "Jump" and "How High" are just two of the crappy tracks contained in that album. Now, "Hard Candy", which marks a new step in the second part of Madonna's career, one that reveals itself to be a bit erratic and inconsistent. I buy it sight unseen, remembering my childhood when as soon as a Madonna album came out, I would rush to the nearby record store to buy it without hesitation. One of these ("Something To Remember"), although not a very beautiful album, I practically wore out in the CD player. But back to "Hard Candy": already the title suggests a prostitute. A brazen prostitute at that. "It's like I'm kicking you, but I'm sure you'll like it," Madonna said, speaking of the album in question. I peel it from its cumbersome cellophane and insert it into the car player like it's a secret treasure chest and drive home. The CD starts, and my arms already fall: where is the Madonna I knew? The Madonna that predicted trends without hesitation?

Come on... this looks like "Loose 2" by Nelly Furtado... Rhythms that move the ass, all sexy and hot little voices, Justin Timberlake like an unwelcome fool who enters almost every track on the album. Useless...useless...useless... my patience has a limit, and in front of these false melodies, it surely has.

The usual intrusive Pharrel Williams and Timbaland pull out of their magic hat songs that you wouldn't listen to twice (listen to "Spanish Lessons", horrible is an understatement...), or tracks not even that catchy, which might serve to dance in a club, maybe remixed by a terrible David Guetta (beware the two singles "4 Minutes" and "Give It 2 Me").

Madonna used to be a tank of a woman, she set the rules, she was the bold one telling thousands of her clones to do this, to do that... to dress like this... to wear a rosary around their neck or make a documentary showing their boobs. Now Madonna has become a funny caricature of herself, fallen at the smelly feet of any Rihanna. Condolences.