Lovage
Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By

THE REVIEW

Attention, handle with care: this record is hot!

As our friend Freud teaches us, human life is mainly aimed at the act of procreation and at enjoying those five-thirty minutes of pure pleasure that the experience can give. Given the central importance that such an act takes in our lives, man has not hesitated to resort to science and its best minds to rid us of those minor inconveniences that can come between us (especially if you are male) and the longed-for pleasure. It has thus promptly provided us with Viagra, Delay Condoms et simila, which have taken care to free us from some nasty dysfunctions that can concern all of us  (except yours truly obviously!). But even once one has ensured full operational capacity, there always remains a big dilemma, that is, finding a partner, which as the most experienced among you will know, plays a crucial role in the whole affair.

Well, in the face of this latter dilemma, even science has so far been powerless, as there still is no pill that makes people compliant towards you, or at least puts them in a condition suitable for mating; unless you consider the so-called date rape drug but surely you don't want to resort to that, do you?! Not so much for ethical reasons (hahaha!) but because you risk getting charged and sentenced to prison, and trust me, you will receive far too much attention there! To circumvent this inconvenience, people have resorted to various means: some pay directly in cash, while others prefer a more indirect approach by flaunting luxury cars, villas, etc. Instead, those too lazy or stupid to make money have invented feelings, attempting to hoodwink some poor unsuspecting person willing to satisfy them at the bare minimum in exchange for a few dinners in second-rate restaurants.

Well, my dear ones, from now on you won't have to resort to these little tricks anymore! Dan the Automator, with the collaboration of Mike Patton and Jennifer Charles, offers you with this splendid CD, for a ridiculous price, an incredible concentrate of perversion, lust, and aphrodisiac energy, as well as a sure means to hook up! The only effort you need to make is to find yourself alone somewhere with the victim, the lucky object of your attentions, and play the record: the intimate atmospheres and the warm duets between the two singers will immediately send the testosterone soaring, and your chosen one, seized by a fit of passion, will have no one but you to unleash their lust on! 100% guaranteed results, satisfaction or your money back! You'll never go home empty-handed again!

So don't waste time and make this CD yours! Call now! The first ten lucky people to reserve the work will also receive a gift of a pair of fun leopard-print handcuffs!