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Rating: "Speak ill of me, as long as you speak of me."
This must have been what Tomi Petteri Putaannsuu thought in the late '90s when an idea as ridiculous as it was brilliant flashed through his mind. Revamping the KISS formula, that is, putting theatricality and image at the forefront, along with shocking performances and typically '80s melodies, in the style of bands like W.A.S.P., Twisted Sister, Alice Cooper, Lizzy Borden, easily catchy yet powerful. It was with this premise that Lordi was born in 1994, a Finnish band founded indeed by Putaansuu, known as Mr. Lordi, who immediately set an existential point for the group, the show had to be everything. Therefore, taking up the idea that KISS had in the '70s, Lordi equipped themselves with costumes and makeup, along with an immense passion for horror movies.
In 2002, Lordi's debut saw the light, titled "Get Heavy", with a cover skirting on decency, but with songs that would dispel any doubts from skeptics. It's worth mentioning that every single track was composed by the frontman and singer Mr. Lordi long before he called upon the other members, tracks that at the time were not released by the record company due to some lyrics not quite suitable for a youthful audience, and which were changed before the release of this debut.
Although the stylistic and musical maturity of Lordi in this work is not yet complete, "Get Heavy" still contains well-crafted and suitably engaging songs. Just listen to the compelling "Devil Is A Loser", which in the future will be a highlight at the band's concerts, and "Would You Love A Monsterman?", whose video I absolutely recommend watching. More anthemic and powerful is "Rock The Hell Outta You", which features excellent drumming, while "Last Kiss Goodbye" highlights the keyboards, which especially in the chorus serve as the backbone of the entire song. With a similar band, one might not expect ballads, but "Icon of Dominance" presents itself as a well-executed slow song, with an exceptional bass supporting the gritty and cavernous voice of the singer, it feels like listening to a Journey or Bon Jovi track, but supercharged. I consider "Hellbender Turbulence" and "Biomechanic Man" as two unnecessary fillers, with only the latter featuring some interesting elements in the chorus, but nothing more. Let's call it more of a missed opportunity. It's again the keyboards taking center stage in "Monster, Monster", another song that in the early years of the band will prove to be their cornerstone along with "Devil Is A Loser", though it's a shame that it's no longer performed today.
The band's career was, of course, prolific, also thanks to their participation in the Eurovision Song Contest in 2006, resulting in a completely unexpected win. Many criticisms obviously arose and more will surely come about pursuing a musical career essentially based on stage costumes and, if you will, copying ideas that previous bands had, which brought them deserved success. But that's also what the music world is like, in my opinion, and as long as the goal is to entertain, I don't see what's wrong with that. This "Get Heavy" may not be a masterpiece of the genre, it may not be influential, but one thing is certain. It will give you a little less than an hour of healthy fun, and I think sometimes you can't ask for anything better. Or can you?
Tracklist Lyrics and Videos
02 Biomechanic Man (03:22)
You need some lovin' o' monstermaniac
style and fashion
and I'm a device of horny steel
You need to believe in the dirty lovin'
o' lusty passion
You need a spin in the torture wheel
I say yeah, now who could put it there
Now who could really care
I hear the call yeah
I can
Biomechanic man
You need to be on a roll and make
a show of money
You need to get the healer here
You gotta know when it's bad
It's gonna be funny
you gotta get in the cyber-feel
I say yeah, need to know when and were
Now who could make you fear
I hear the call yeah
I am Biomechanic man
I'm all man and all machine
a little sicko, little mean
I rock your brains out
And you're sure to be damned
I lick your little finger
then I chew up your hand
for that's who I am:
The Biomechanic man
03 Devil Is a Loser (03:29)
You wanted power and you begged for fame
You wanted everything the easy way
You wanted gain without pain
Now your bill is in the mail
You got stronger but your mind got weak
You made a promise that you couldn't keep
You got it all - you lost more
It's all there in the fee
Via hell incorporated (regeneration)
First you love it then you hate it (you're such a saint)
And now you're never gonna make it (bad situation)
Get on get on down
There's hell to pay 'cause
The Devil is a loser and he's my bitch
For better or for worse and you don't care which
The Devil is a loser and he's my bitch
Runnin' into trouble you skitch
He's my bitch
You wanted richest and a licence to kill
You got poverty then you got ill
You got poor and you lost your will
All your dreams unfulfilled
I get my kicks when you blow your fuse
No-one got killed but that's no excuse
Hands up, I let you know when it's done
I've got the only gun
And there were no refunds
Just failing guarantees
"Confess your sins, son"
Said the preacher on TV
You got yourself some greasepaint
Set of white and black
All you got was laughter and
Gene Simmons on your back
04 Monster Monster (03:23)
It took me down (by surprise)
I'm on the ground (paralyzed)
Trying not to breath
�cuse I know I'll be found
Pray the Lord (my soul to keep)
�Till I'm sore (like a hammer)
It's pounding me until I'm driven in
I would be damned if I
Ever fell but could I tell
I would be damned if I do
And damned if I don't
This time I'll go for the kill
Monstermonster
I can't take this hell no more
Beast be gone
Something's gotta give
Monstermonster
Gonna throw you out the door
One will die and the other shall live
You taught me (everything that I)
Shouldn't say (everything that I)
Shouldn't do and now I'm defyin' you
Inhuman voice (agonizing)
It's nature's choise (no apologizing)
Now the haunter shall become
haunted
Damned if I
Ever fell but could I tell
Damned if I do
And damned if I don't
This time I'll go for the kill
05 Icon of Dominance (04:35)
Would you be satisfied
if I told you lies
Would it make it right
No, I won't justify
Your masquerade-like cries
I know it will go by
There is no soul
No soul could chain mine
and call it its own
I'll be your
Reason to loathe - shoot your futile bolt
Don't push it, I know you know you're
held by the cold - Do what you are told
Icon of dominance
Distort it all you can
This full-blown masterplan
Will get you in a jam
When cheers form into jeers
Despair is drawin' near
Glances grow to become
the weapons of fear
Can't you see me
Can't you see me stalking
Day-dream escape - Surreal haze
Distort it all you can
There is no soul
No soul could ever make me its own
06 Last Kiss Goodbye (03:08)
Lying by the trees
All wrapped up in leaves
I lay you down to sleep
You're so lovely
Little hands so white and pale
Blue under your nails
I wanna show how much I care
Sleeping beauty
We'll let this be out hide-away
Our secret
I'll set you free though I must stay
'cause our love can't be shared
This will be your one
Last kiss goodbye
And I wish you - and I wish you
This will be your one
Last kiss goodbye
and I wish you well in hell
It's been years since we last met
Now it's fall and leaves are wet
I think you must have lost some weight
But you're still lovely
I know you will be waiting
Sleeping in your pelt
If I couldn't have you baby
No one ever will
'cause our love can't be shared
09 Hellbender Turbulence (02:46)
So she got up in the morning
May this day be the day of confidence
Consider it a fair warning
Gonna turn it on 10, the turbulence
Oh lord, they tried to wear her down
Blinding is the sound
Now tell me where have you seen her
Have you seen hellbender turbulence
Now tell me where have you seen her
Have you seen hellbender turbulence
Now who's wheelin' and dealin'
May this day be the day of reckoning
Unconventional meanings
Give the devil his due for dirty things
Oh lord, they tried to wear her down
Blinding is the sound
Now tell me where have you seen her
Have you seen hellbender turbulence
Now tell me where have you seen her
Have you seen hellbender turbulence
Now tell me where have you seen her
Have you seen hellbender turbulence
Now tell me where have you seen her
Have you seen hellbender turbulence
11 Would You Love a Monsterman? (03:04)
Would you love a monsterman
Could you understand beauty of the beast
Fire at will - yeah I would kill
Yeah I would freeze all hell over just to get a chill
Yeah I would slay - Yeah I would maim
Yeah I would vanish in thin air and reappar again
Be right in the squarres, yeah I would be sincere
Yeah I would lie, Yeah I would lie
Yeah I would be there waking up the dead to get a thrill
I say yeah - I say yeah
Would you love a monsterman
Could you understand the beauty of the beast
I would do it all for you, would you do it all
Do it all for me
Take your time - you'll be fine
Yeah there is nothing wrong with this
you ain't committing crime
You don't know why it passed you by
You search for something never found
along these lines
Someday you may turn around and terrify
You can't deny - You crucify
Would you get down in the gutter
Swallowing your pride
I say yeah - I say yeah
Would you love.....
All that you get is much less than
you deserve
Leaving for now
someday I may return
13 Dynamite Tonite (03:14)
She's so cold
Keeps her distance
Icy queen
I've been told
She's so tense
Has always been
She'll need some warmin' up
And I'll bring in the heat
My glances burning hot
Melt her
Melt her meat
Gimme gimme fuel for my fire
Just a little spark of desire
For her delight
I'll serve dynamite tonite
Who comes out as the winner
When she starts to play the game
After the 2nd half
She will never be the same
She'll need some warming up
And I'll bring in the heat
My glances burning hot
Melt her
Melt her meat
Gimme gimme fuel for my fire
Just a little spark of desire
For her delight
I'll serve dynamite tonite
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