Lenny Kravitz
5

THE REVIEW

Legendary Lenny! You truly are an awesome rocker, a total badass, perfectly embodying the definition of sex, drugs, & rock 'n roll, with your dark skin, dreadlocks, and style. The perfect antithesis of the unlucky and depressed rocker, you've shown that you know how to compose fiery tracks complete with killer riffs and sweet ballads that can move even a Viking. You've moved through rock, soul, and pop, always with style. I am devoted to you for a 5.

Oh versatile DeBaser listener, you who are not a genre extremist, you who are open-minded and ready to risk some of your precious time for music, try to assess whether or not this is a FUNDAMENTAL rock album of the '90s. The enemy might be called Virgin, with the V in this case representing the side of evil, capitalism, the god of money, the machine working to make you come as quickly as possible because there’s no time to lose, we need to monetize as much as possible, because Five can't hit you too hard, it has to wear you out and then tire you.

You will buy Virgin's 5, and it will tell you: "I Belong to You". The key to best appreciating this release is to be disinterested, let it do its job without thinking, and devote yourself to the sound. You need to transform into asexual beings like angels to fly in the blue skies of Five and catch the melodies and warm sensations floating in the air at that moment. Only in this way can you best appreciate delights such as "Black Velveteen" and "If You Can't Say No" or "Thinking of You". The enemy is Virgin, but you, the listener, are stronger than Virgin. "Take Time" and "Fly Away" are moments of thrust, gusts of wind that guide your hang glider even higher.

Virgin starts to understand that you are a great listener and begins to yield, and thus starts offering quality, soft and gentle work, for fine palates. Along come "Little Girl's Eyes" and "You're My Flavor", and that’s when you'll begin to truly appreciate, enjoying it as much as possible before letting go and allowing Virgin's 5 to ascend directly to the top tiers of '90s rock, and you will do it by shouting "SUPERSOOOOOOOOULFIGHTER" and then reflecting a bit on this inclusion, perhaps smoking a cigarette and listening to "Can We Find a Reason".

Versatile listener, you will be completely free to appreciate or dismiss this album and this tale from a music lover who is moved, as long as your choice is well-considered and accompanied by accurate evaluations without bad influences or disturbances to the cause.

No fuss, Five deserves a 5.

Ded. To Myleg (Myla the Estonian Girl)