Kylesa
Spiral Shadow

Dear average metalhead, let me tell you what I think: most sludge metal bands only know how to make records full of nonsense, dense with stereotypes and annoying as hell. And when you confront these dolts about their mediocrity, they put on airs and say "oh, we do it on purpose" - "We want to create a...magmatic sound" - "We want to erode the stomachs, slowly, from the inside." No, no, you won’t fool me anymore: same old riffs, same seismic bass that makes you poop your pants, same thirty-minute tracks repeating the same three notes endlessly as if someone decided that tedium is the most artistic trend right now.

I'm not buying it, dear metal dude: that’s why I like the new album by Kylesa (the fifth in just nine years) so much. It touches all possible sludge stereotypes but doesn’t get bogged down and goes beyond, higher. It’s a psychedelic sound that doesn’t feel the need to oppress your intestines. It’s heavy, yes, but doesn’t weigh on the scrotum. It’s an album full of many nice short and punchy songs that, among a hell of abrasive distortions and travertine rhythmic beat-downs caused by two drummers, still finds tons of jaw-dropping melodic solutions and sometimes even radio-friendly. The vocals don’t seem to come from your sink’s drain, but provide a pleasant male/female alternation (how much do women help bring metal out of its impasse, seriously?) that never becomes tiresome. It’s the first album of this kind I've heard that even your indie-girlfriend might enjoy (God only knows how you managed to pick her up), who loves the Smiths and always looked at you weird when you drooled over the continuous sound of burps and gargles.

Finally, a metal album that doesn’t wallow in self-reference and banal clichés. Dear metalhead, I’m not like you, I like metal but I also like a lot of other stuff (because I believe that obsessively listening to just one type of sound at the very least makes you a bit dumb: it's undeniable) and I can tell you that this album, before being great metal, is above all great music (something every artist of any genre should learn). Then, if you want to continue being the loser who loves the usual two-hour, gut-wrenching catacomb drones and you don’t want to please your hipster-girl even a bit (the best thing would be to borrow "The Queen Is Dead", indeed) go ahead, dear average metalhead, but know that if metal has been offering new ideas with a trickle for twenty years, it’s also your fault and your boring, uncompromising tastes, and that you become a bit blind (and deaf).