Kurnalcool
Takki A Beve

"The metal rules a casì, only we drink wine on top of it".

This is the motto of Kurnalcool, a historic band from Ancona that has been touring around le Marche (and beyond) for more than twenty years playing an old-style Heavy Metal enriched with stories, sometimes true, that have a single main theme: alcohol. It is the key ingredient of their music, cheerfully renamed "vì metal", and especially of their concerts - in the square, in pubs or in cellars - where Kurnalcool have made a name for themselves, making even the most abstainers smile and have fun (and mosh).

The seven Ancona natives, composed of two singers, two guitarists, a bassist, and two drummers (yes, maybe you need two drums to catch the right tempos in jolly conditions) have composed, to date, three demos and three albums; the fourth is in preparation. The latest gem is from 2003 and is titled "Takki a Beve". I chose to describe and recommend this CD to you because it is more elaborate, varied, and above all better recorded than the previous ones "Stand By Vì" and "Bumba Atomika".

The album features eleven tracks inspired by the '80s Hard n' Heavy, like Skid Row, Motorhead, Judas Priest. Two male voices alternate at the microphone, which I would define as opposites: Big George's is powerful, gritty and of wide range, the other one is... do you know Joey Ramone? Well, sometimes Ricky Tiger seems to be his incarnation (yes, I'm exaggerating). Indeed, his wild passion for the Ramones is noticeable.

So far, nothing original, but what makes Kurnalcool special are the lyrics: sung in Italian, or in the Ancona dialect, they make you laugh heartily. For example, the second track "C'ho il bisolfito" tells of a farmer, called by a school to demonstrate how wine is made, who has an unforeseen event on the way: he gets stopped by the police, who are misled by the powdery white consistency of the bisulfite. I won’t reveal what happens next.

"Day vì After" describes how to behave the day after a hangover: "you wake up at noon / go from the bathroom to the kitchen a hundred times a day... mom wants me to eat tagliatelle and mixed roast / I'm tempted but I resist". The guy promises himself it was the last hangover, but then reconsiders (hasn't that happened to everyone?). The slow rhythm of this song helps us better identify with the situation. However, the "slow" ones on this record (four in total: "Day Vì After", "Non me credi più", "Non sai perché", and "salamo e bevemo") are, in my opinion, the musically less successful episodes of the record. Except for the penultimate "Non me credi più", made of interesting rhythm changes and almost moving melodies.

The catchiest song is called "Festival bar". It has punk-rock influences; in the lyrics, Kurnalcool talk about themselves and their unlikely participation in the summer music contest: "we're not going to Castrocaro / because there's not even an amaro / we’re not thinking about Sanremo / we’re too dumb a group" but "we want to go to the Festivalbar / because there's the bar" ... "Who knows how nice would it be / to get drunk with Fiorello" and so on.

There's room for a cover: it's a great piece by Ac/Dc, "Touch Too Much", which becomes on this occasion "Stazzi de qua, bevi de là". The lyrics are replaced with another alcoholic story; the music is heavier than the original, with Big George knowing how to sing like Bon Scott, even with some inaccuracies, and with the guitarist Michael Trilling, the true talent of the group, dominating with his solos.

Kurnalcool: a name, a legend. On stage, they are engaging, funny, good (especially at the start of the concerts, then... it gets a bit wild, if the wine is good). They almost always interact with the audience. If you’ve never had the chance to attend one of their concerts, do it as soon as possible and repeatedly - if you are in the Marche. Otherwise, come here on holiday... or get their records. In short: unmissable, for metal fans and not.

If you listen to the record and you are not from here, you should know that:

Tazza= glass

Nacquarito= watered down

Dacqua= waters 

Castellina Pasi= smooth music band 

Monte Acuto= Marche prison

Beverò= Bacardi rum + coke

El so= I know.

Come on, stazz now!