Kosmodrom
Sonnenfracht

But do Germans really exist? Belin, sometimes you see people around and you already recognize they're Germans just by how they laugh. They put on that grin full of Germanness. Germanness so perfect that sometimes it even seems contrived. Not sincere. It seems like there's something behind it.

The few times I’ve been to Germany, I found everyone there, looking closely, when they weren't laughing, had a Bolzano-like face. But I'll get back to that later.

So, Kosmodrom is a group of young natives from Germany (I should say Germans, but we first need to prove that Germans really exist and it's not all a conspiracy, but I'll get back to that later.), and for now, they have released this practically all-instrumental psych stoner EP. The formula is this: a stack of muscular psychedelia of amps and guitar effects over a rhythmic structure made up of well-studied, non-trivial heavy stoner riff loops. 5 tracks: one with vocals, the only forgettable one, the rest not bad in my opinion, I'd give it a 3 and a half. There's not much else to say.

So how to avoid making another damned Zot and thus raising G's blood pressure, putting his coronary arteries at risk?

I’m trying to describe my particular impressions compared to other crap of the genre by relying on a story I read some time ago. In that story, it was claimed that one night, a few days after Germany’s surrender at the end of World War II, all Germans descended several kilometers underground through a tunnel in the Black Forest, planning to stay there until the time was ripe to attempt world domination again. But the people of Bolzano who had discovered the plan went to plug the hole with one of their invisible barriers and took their place with a very precise plan. Pretend to be Germans and wait for the right moment to try to conquer the world themselves.

There could be some truth in that story; the people of Bolzano are famous for the quality of their invisible barriers, evidence being that the Po Valley, with a hole in the Alps like the Brenner Pass, should be invaded by a sweet and nauseating smell of sachertorte all year round, and it’s not. That story provides a hypothesis on the origin of the invisible barriers of the people of Bolzano. One of the many plans they devised for world domination was to amass the necessary fortune by conquering the spirits market with a new low-cost liquor. For the success of the plan, they needed to use raw materials available in large quantities, whose procurement involved very low costs and with which excellent results could be achieved. They managed to find a way to distill altitude, which abounds in their area and is free. The process they had developed yielded a muddy sediment as a byproduct, consisting of latitude too concentrated to be used in the food sector. For them, discarding it in landfills was a waste; they considered it very valuable because it could increase the "northernness" of people, a characteristic that the people of Bolzano appreciated very much. They found a way to use it to construct invisible barriers. The principle was simple: you ended up inside one and instantly found yourself catapulted kilometers north. I no longer remember how that story ended; I lost track of it, and to think I wrote it myself. Anyway, imagine finding yourself in a square in Hamburg without the company of friends or acquaintances, surrounded by all Germans (or rather, self-proclaimed Germans) who are looking at you threateningly because they realized you guessed their Bolzano origin from their look and you pose a threat to the realization of their world domination plan. This EP could be an excellent soundtrack for such a situation.