Karyn Kusama
Jennifer's Body

After shedding the intoxication of fame and glory gained through the screenplay of "Juno," Diablo Cody returns to the cinema, handling the plot of "Jennifer's Body", a film released in our theaters in the fall of 2009 and directed by Karyn Kusama (a director whom, perhaps, some may remember for that mess "Aeon Flux" with Charlize Theron).

Given the results, one might suppose that the hangover did her no favors...

The fact is, "Juno," while far from being a masterpiece, could rely, in addition to its brilliant dialogues (though not exactly illuminating) and a school-adolescent setting depicted with charm, on a delectably low-fi soundtrack and, above all, the excellent performance of the very promising Ellen Paige: elements that undoubtedly ended up enriching and enhancing Cody's plot.

Unfortunately, however, the miracle did not repeat itself.

First of all, because "Jennifer's Body" is much like a patchwork of the "best of the worst" of various American teen horrors from the last 25 years. There's the deep friendship between two girls at opposite ends that actually hides an ancient grudge, there's the hottie who turns into a vampire or something similar, there are the serial killers of students in the usual, unfortunate provincial college, and there's the cliché bespectacled outsider who notices what's happening before everyone else.

Directorially, we're in the realm of sadness.
Firstly because that evil genius Kusama decides to kill every narrative tension with a prologue-flashforward that, in a few minutes, reveals to the non-lobotomized viewer more or less everything that will happen in the next hour and a half.
Secondly, because the director herself confirms she is not exactly a master of the camera, alternating exasperating drops in tension with frenetic cross-cutting montages as useful as a popsicle at the North Pole.

But, most of all, what really lacks is a screenplay that can even be vaguely described as engaging. Throughout its duration, in fact, "Jennifer's Body" remains devoid of truly original ideas, wavering hesitantly between school teen-comedy (the protagonists' awkward sexual attempts) and the most classic and overused horror ("Oh God! I heard a noise and I'm home alone!").

The real problem is that "Jennifer's Body" doesn't dare as much as it could (and therefore should).
Not surprisingly, the best moments remain those where the grotesque, surreal tone prevails (as in the human sacrifice scene), when comedy becomes macabre and political incorrectness can have its way (poor Indian student in America for cultural exchange...). Unfortunately, though, these are rare, sporadic moments in a film that for over an hour and a half struggles uncertainly, unable to decide which path, which narrative approach to take.

Almost redundant, finally, is the analysis of Megan Fox's performance.
Four things are certain in life.
The first is death.
The second is taxes.
The third is that Megan Fox is among the most spectacular women to ever walk this planet.
The fourth is that Megan Fox is terrible at acting.
That the character of Jennifer is practically modeled in her image and likeness and that Fox herself can rely on an almost infinite arsenal of Lolita/nymphomaniac expressions (constantly parted lips, plump lips, big eyes like a pornographic doe...), well, that's a different story that has nothing to do with the ability to act.

Try again, Diablo...