Jon Turteltaub
The Meg

In all honesty, I think we need more films like this more often.

Like what? Crappy! And by crappy, I mean cocky, loudmouthed, easy-peasy, and above all, not taking themselves seriously. But not the crap like Sharknado (which is shitty to the core, and I’d say the verdict is indisputable...), The Two Headed Shark or that crappy flooded mall shark. The Meg has an unexpected verve and vitality that made me quite delighted, and I assure you, it wasn't just because of the gossip.

As I see it, the elements had all the ignorance I respect: a 25-meter-long prehistoric shark, a Jason Statham in great shape, diving technology defying every law of hydrodynamics, rapid-fire killings, pseudo-science all around… The rest is made up of a lively direction and a beautifully paced editing, and then the general chairmanship that permeates the whole story, from the jokes to some key scenes that are deliciously kitsch. An exemplary one is the absurd attack of the super shark on the crowded Chinese beach, with scenes reminiscent of the ‘80s idiocy à la Benny Hill. It’s also not bad that the settings are varied and that the friendly shark causes quite a bit of havoc before being shredded, also because the cheekiness of some extras and supporting characters arrogantly and amusingly raises the body count.

It might also be the Sino-American production climate that helps, I wouldn't know. The pomp and hilarious stupidity of certain ideas have something extra compared to the usual, and even the characters, though terribly predictable, are bearable and not so poorly balanced as in 98% of typical blockbusters. There is something different, more carefree and cocky, in The Meg, which also boasts raucous mockeries of the entire "Jaws" series and the maritime horror genre in general. We’re facing a B-movie (I know, an overused term that means everything and nothing...) which, however, also benefits from not being at all shoddily thrown together.

A kudos to everyone, to the great Jason Statham, a parody of a swaggerer full of great charm, to the other actors (several familiar faces who honestly do their dirty work), to the diligent yet overall drinkable display of digital special effects, to a screenplay without monstrous holes and that, which isn’t a given, flows naturally. Even a few sloppy concessions to rhetoric and cheap sentimentality are forgivable, after all, you can't have entire Christians swallowed by a giant shark without anyone saying "But what..?"

Maybe you thought it was crap and you’ll take me for a fool (you wouldn’t be that far from the truth), but I had fun for almost two hours, for heaven's sake! I should have the right to enjoy watching a wacky and fun movie, or should we resign ourselves to all those damn blockbusters with stellar budgets, scripts written by bored comic writers, special effects so perfect they become cloying, and stories that... what stories? Aren’t those stories in Star Wars and the Avengers? Oh, because here what story do you have, you fool?? Idiot, but you don’t need a story in a movie like this! Golden rule of a lost cinema: you can even have crappy effects and disgraceful stories, but if the screenplay holds, the tone & pace are right, then everything can work.

And The Meg, wouldn’t you know it, works.