•
Rating: - Harry, you are a wizard.
And he had made a farting trumpet of his rear.
So, there’s this kid with a weird scar on his forehead, poor thing, left in front of his uncle's door by a big fat guy, incredible size 772, beard so thick that wouldn't surprise you to find Tarzan & Jane inside it, obviously - and Yes, well, the story is a bit complicated, because he is a WIZARD!!! Yes, you heard that right, a »WIZARD!« and his name is Harry Potter, it would be nice to mention the place of birth but it’s unknown, just know that both his parents were wizards too, who were killed by Voldemort who is also a wizard, but one of those really mean bad wizards, uuuugly! Bleah... original name though, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, ugly rip-off of the magic formula it so pleases there where one has what one wills, and further questions ask not...
Then there's also a magic school, hidden and invisible to Muggles (those who don’t have magical thoughts, but if we're honest, we’re all a bit magical) that if they find the place they only see ruins and a sign saying "if you get closer you become canned food for Chupacabra" ...not very polite as a sign, but it does its job well. In fact, Hogwarts school (sounds like a yogurt name doesn't it) can boast a much lower number of bullying and devastation than any Italian school, and nowadays that’s a record. Plus, it’s devoid of cell phones (thank goodness), of swear words (hopefully, damn!), uninterested and rude students (ok, you always find someone like that), and also of "bimbominkias". Basically, those of Hogwarts are called Maghiminkia, a whole different thing...
Well, as we were saying, this Erry's uncles follow Voldemort's school, except their damn selves, they don't have magical powers!!! and Erry thanks the heavens, 3 times a day facing the sky waiting for his Hedwig (a white owl) to poop on his face. The thing is, Hedwig appears later in the story, but it’s all a stupid temporal issue. To hell with it.
Anyway, the uncles try to hide from Erry the fact that he is a wizard, and damn it, they almost succeed, only one day a letter arrives from Hogwarts, and then it’s trouble! ...but the bad uncle takes the letter, and burns it, the bastard! ...no problem, more arrive, thousands and thousands and thousands, brought by owls (in Harry Potter they serve the same purpose as cats did in Ancient Egypt), all addressed to the house number Can't Quite Remember on Privet Drive (and English people can't even write "Private", or maybe I completely botched the name, oh well)...
The thing is, the uncle gets sick of all these magic and nonsense and emigrates, not as an illegal immigrant though, to a deserted little island, a place to stay in a house that calling it Shabby would be quite the gentlemanly gesture... but, darn, Hagrid arrives (another name like Yogurt, or Cheese), the big guy, the same bizarre character who had brought Erry to the house door on Privet Drive many years before. Look, fantastic!
Events follow one after the other, the action is spectacular, then however, a piece of hotness named Hermione comes between Ron (an orange-haired idiot, but whooooo are you????) and Erry ... and a friendship is born, a trio.
And they all lived happily ever after, but not even NO.
Because this is only the first of 7 books, because in every damn episode there's this idiot Voldemort always ready to REALLY annoy the hell out of you with the constant Avada Kedavra... at the end of the last book he dies too, but couldn’t he take a couple of naps?
Loading comments slowly
