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Rating:
This should be the title of the Finnish band Impaled Nazarene's debut album. Warning for all those about to be outraged/scandalized: these guys are joking.
The review can begin.
In 1992, after a demo titled "Toag Eht Fo Htao Eht" (it seems Chinese), the Luttinen brothers, Mika and Kimmo, along with two "friends" who were session musicians, recorded this stuff here. It supposedly falls under Black Metal, or at least that's how it's classified by diligent amateur archivists. In my humble opinion, this full-length album differs greatly from BM (which in '92 was just releasing its first rasping cries).
The booklet is extremely sparse and contains only a long list of thanks, preceded by the statement "among these are numerous sons of bitches, but they helped us in the past." On the back, the CD has the inscription "Impaled Nazarene plays industrials cyberpunk sado-metal exclusively." After sufficiently furrowing one's eyebrows, one inserts the disc into the player and starts getting one's eardrums pounded. The pounding is scientific, thoughtful, and actually enjoyable.
Anyone familiar with the current ImpNaz should now be asking: "So? They don't play cartoon themes now… "
True. But the sonic annihilation is very distant from the power-black thrash-punk of today. Today they are cheerful drunkards who have fun making fast and violent songs to get the crowd moshing. Before, they were cheerful drunkards who had fun making violent, fast, and sick songs to leave people open-mouthed and wide-eyed.
The structure of the album is simple: alternation of bone-crushing tracks and interludes with piano/organ/flute/other instruments with incomprehensible voices proclaiming things like "Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek," or animal verses from a zoo mating with goats.
The songs are all practically indistinguishable from one another, and therefore I won't talk about them, also due to a not insignificant factor, which I will explain better later. Hyper-distorted guitars, insane drumming; the two or three tempo changes per track ensure you never get bored and you always end up tapping your foot or drumming on the steering wheel if you're listening to this gem while driving. The voice is monstrous, a throat-shredding scream yelled into the mic, likely filtered. Sometimes more grave and hoarse screams overlap and alternate, with which Mika auto-duets.
Distorted guitar + blastbeat + scream + goat = Black Metal, the relentless labelers will say. I, however, disagree. It lacks the attitude and the necro-grim atmosphere and most importantly, lacks any intention of being taken seriously. This is blatantly a joke, and in '92 those in the Black scene weren't joking.
If you're not looking for melody and you're not Christian, this album can be extremely entertaining, even for a certain rotten and dark energy it manages to instill. An energy that the current ImpNaz, for better or worse, have lost.
Rating: 4.5
Note: There is a reissue, which I had the misfortune of purchasing, with a completely messed up tracklist. The song numbers don't match the songs, some songs are split in half, others are merged under the same number. There are bonus tracks, about fifteen tracks crammed into 20 minutes of track 21. On the official ImpNaz website, there's a sort of instruction manual on how to know which song you're listening to, but it's extremely complicated, and I gave up. Those of you with a lot of patience and time to waste can do it. Initially, I thought it was intentional, to be more "cult." But no. They simply made a mistake at some stage of the disc printing. If you download it instead, well, good luck.
Tracklist and Lyrics
01 Apolokia (00:34)
"This is the declaration of the satanic war
This is the beginning of the end
I raise my chalice of hate
To greet the gods of war:
Abaddon, Dagon, Kali, Sekhmet...
I shit on your god!"
05 In the Name of Satan (00:21)
In the name of Satan I curse your rotten souls
Cursed are the feeble for they shall be blotted out
[chorus:]
In nomine dei nostri Satans (Luciferi) excelsi
In the name of Satan I curse your rotten souls
Cursed are the feeble for they shall be blotted out
Satan represents vengeance for S.P. is the highest law!
[repeat chorus]
07 Goat Perversion (00:12)
Sodomize thru the night - who has killed the fucking light
What the fuck do you expect to see
When Jesus lying naked in front of me
[chorus:]
Goat in pain - the satanic reign
Who has killed the fucking light,
Who has killed the fucking light, huh ?
You are all doomed to misery
So fuck some goatcorpses in praise of me
[repeat chorus]
08 The Forest (The Darkness) (03:26)
this song is actually the end of goat perversion and then the forest the darkness
11 Condemned to Hell (01:08)
Bastard son didn't win
I summon to thee to come to me
To find the peace, harmony
Infernal, agony
Mayhemic devastation, unholy benediction
Controlled by his majesty
You'll suffer, eternally
Do you believe in agony ?
Only pain is...real!
"Ääliöt, ylistäkää saatanaa,
sillä ainoastaan saatana on todellista !!!"
Bestial majesty rules the universe
Burning flames, holocaust
Charred souls, no return!!!
Spiritual prophecies turned into total shit
Messiah now vomitting as I masturbate on him
Do you believe in agony ?
Only pain is real!
Damned to fucking hell!!!
13 The Crucified (00:21)
Jesus Christ, who is he ? Why do you believe such a shit ?
Jesus Christ, who is he ? Why do you believe such a shit ?
[chorus:]
Aren't they the morbid tales ? Believers shall perish in flames !
Jesus Christ, who is he ? Why do you believe such a shit ?
Jesus Christ, he has died, no reason to believe in lies
Jesus Christ, who is he ? He is nothing but dead meat
[chorus:]
I raped Christ, made him die ! I am your god,
The chosen fucking...one !
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