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Rating: "Fuck it and dance"
11 months after the last odyssey, I'm back to comment on the pustuled and almost deadly Sanremo festival, for my masochism and for some sadistic people who want it...I think...I hope not. This year's edition started with almost tragicomic predictions, the chosen artists do not seem to promise anything good except for a few exceptions, between resurgences of old tedious glories to terrible characters of the new Italian scene. The only things that are worth watching so far are: Fiorello, it's Fiorello folks (who will disappear after the first night, sigh), what can I say, Giusy Ferreri (just to name one), she still has a "fantastic physique," and above all, the memes that will come out because they will come out. It's currently 20:06, in less than an hour, the ordeal begins. Let's fuckin' gooooooo!
PRELUDE: Almost everything you read here was written live during the broadcast of Sanremo, except for some phrases deleted or corrected for decency and some added later. Also, understand the irony when necessary, like when I threaten to set real people on fire, it's an exaggeration for humorous purposes...most of the time.
FIRST NIGHT
The stage and orchestra appear immediately and the sonata begins. It's already something. Our idiotic idol Amadeus arrives descending the stairs, greeting the spotlights and doing other activities. Oh right, there's also the audience, no more phallus-shaped balloons, darn. Applause also to Gaetano Castelli for creating the stage, good job. For tonight, we have to listen to 12 and it starts immediately with the first singer, BRAVO AME YOU SURPRISE ME, no useless guests at the start...too bad it's Achille Lauro, who arrives shirtless like a drunk Russian with leather pants and Native Americans behind him. ...what did I just see/hear- Achille, what are you doing? It's Achille Lauro being Achille Lauro, touching his package etc., but it's all more gospel...oh well, who cares, in the end, he even baptizes himself, let's move on. The first co-host arrives, the aforementioned Ornella Muti, with a rubber face and glasses, and she presents the second singer, Yuman, who for those who are not Sanremo enthusiasts is the one who won Sanremo Giovani, and presents a piece called Ora e qui (wow, original title): with an outfit that includes black clown boots and a piece that is overall ok, good arrangement, decent text, but mostly monotonous (except for the end where the orchestra comes in) and his voice is very uncertain. It could have been much worse, not too bad. After Miss Muti's spreading issues and her anecdote about Sanremo, of which we don't care but was needed to fill the schedule time, we proceed with the third singer...wasn't Noemi also here last year? Oh well, she's back, with a pink dress that makes her look like the Shining Princess/Princess Kaguya. And I'll say a blasphemous thing, her piece is actually very good, the text is well constructed with some very good matches, very successful arrangement in its own small way. For now, the only one I would re-listen to in the very near future. However, everything is very strange, in less than an hour, he's already done three artists, I expect a nice drop after the fourth, Gianni Morandi GO GIANNI! Even before hearing it, his piece is beautiful, whatever he does I'll be like "alright maestro, we are all proud of you." Bullshit aside, the piece is quite ugly: the text goes in one direction towards silly and vulgar poetry, Jovanotti throws it back to La mia moto days in textual terms, Gianni does his best but the song crumbles on itself every time that really awful chorus starts. And after this, surprise: with a sad and annoying background and the words "turn the page," he arrives, the man of the Ariston, ROSARIO FIORELLO, with a pressing base and jubilant presentation, dresses as a man in black ready to measure your fever. We missed you Fiore, I also want Mattarella in The voice senior and bravo to sing sad songs with an upbeat rhythm (he even sings Graziani's Firenze, bra-vo). And we go on, with one of the most promising among last year's contestants: The representative of list, with a very danceable Ciao ciao and it doesn't disappoint expectations, well done. After this, Tito Stagno is remembered for a moment and we move to the sixth, Michele Bravi...his song is truly frustrating, although I see content in it, everything around it is extremely generic bringing me to not having a real opinion about it, we'll see in the next evenings if anything changes, for now, it remains a meh song. But now, they return Maneskis...Naziskins...Manikins... oh well, them. And Amadeus brings them to Sanremo, driving around Sanremo in a golf kart (idol for all taxi drivers...oh wait I just quoted Rkomi, NOOOOOOO I DIDN'T WANT TO). 5 minutes lost forever, excellent. And the Maneskus don't help, proposing once again Zitti e buoni which I remember praising back in the day but today I can hardly stand it. Always better than I wanna be your slave though, that one is as beautiful as fertilizer. And indeed they don't do it, the second song they do is Coraline, much more interesting than the two previously mentioned. Ah no! Instead of Maneskin, we find Massimo Ranieri known as Quasimodo as the seventh contestant, singing about immigrants to America with a classic Sanremo ballad...if it had come out in '73, I would have loved it a lot. Now, comes the problem: Mahmood and Blanco, what can come out of it I don't know, Mahmood always does interesting things, but Blanco...no, just no; therefore, it could either come out as something actually successful or a trash...I didn't expect it to be so cute, I genuinely have little to criticize apart from some horrible high notes from Mahmood and Blanco himself, otherwise, I genuinely think it's a great piece. After this surprise, another guest, the tennis player Matteo Berrettini and here I go to get a coffee because my interest drops a lot. Anyway, if you want to know more, ask my dad who knows definitely more about tennis than I do and cares much more. And after another presentation by Muti...the antichrist, the shitty summer music coming to Sanremo, the fully dressed iceberg of sewage, Ana mena...I want to kill someone! Obviously, needless to say, the piece sucks, let's move on before making Liguria explode. And after the advertisement for Amadeus's Eni (I didn't need it), the tenth (going too fast, this is strange): Rkomi...ugh...why does Rkomi exist? BUT, strangely, the piece is not as bad as I thought: the arrangement is good, the rest is crap, but that arrangement elevates it and somehow the chorus sticks in the head. It could have been worse, it could have been utter crap and instead, it's just mediocre. But here come the Marleniskins again, with the promised Coraline, nice piece. And let's go to the eleventh, Dargen D'amico, with whom strangely enough I had good expectations...a bit trashy but well-intentioned, better than many others heard tonight. And after this, Muti comments on some photos about Italian cinema, which caught my interest a bit, not sure why; it might be because it's nice to know these anecdotes or because I'm tired and barely holding myself up...forgive me, sitting in the chair. Well, I believe the first is correct, if only for citing Francesco Nuti and "Tutta colpa del paradiso" (a film from which my mom took my name, which is that of the child, so I remain somewhat fond). And arriving, ladies and gentlemen, the Costa Toscana, holy cow, where there is a kind of stage, and connected are Fabio Rovazzi and Orietta Berti dressed as a rose (?), introducing Colapesce and Dimartino singing, you guess it...Musica leggerissima. After their performance, the super guest Claudio Joe' (and again, my interest goes to zero, I can't even stand hearing him talk and his "intervention" is as cringe as few things are). And now, we're at the last singer, the one that will decide if there was enough music tonight or not...perhaps it leans more towards no because it's Giusy Ferreri, and okay she's a woman of great and not despicable height but in music, it's been since 2012 or earlier that she doesn't hit one; let's hope for the best...urm, it went fairly well, didn't change much of the night's weight, it's a song with good and less good things, but this song too is okay (relistening it brings some boredom. Currently, I much prefer Rkomi's piece, which says a lot). And now, the Meduza, the last guests tonight, they should make me move my ass but I'm so wrecked that they only cause a movement on the bedside table on which my bedroom television stands and towards my dear marbles. But..who is this Don Massimo, coming to Sanremo on a motorcycle from Spoleto (wow)? Questions assail me and I wait for answers...ah, it was all advertisement for the new Don Matteo...fuck you and that priest. At this point, I re-listen to the representative's piece and I'll see you at the provisional ranking, bye bye beauteous. Okay, after seeing a trophy by SIAE for Maneskin and Muti's speech on an environmental project where you can donate trees (which is important, spend money on trees)...after the ad, Battiato appears on the big screen singing "La cura"...I almost cry. But now, here's the ranking, finally: Sanremo's mayor arrives, Fiorello gives a prize to Amadeus called 'Patato' by the mayor...another rambling chat by Fiorello always appreciated but it would be the moment of the ranking too. And indeed, when it arrives, I listen to it, turn everything off, and enter a coma. See you tomorrow.
PROVISIONAL RANKING 1st NIGHT:
1st Mahmood and Blanco, Brividi
2nd The representative of the list, Ciao ciao
3rd Dargen D'Amico, Dove si balla
4th Gianni Morandi, Apri tutte le porte
5th Massimo Ranieri, Lettera di là dal mare
6th Noemi, Ti amo non lo so dire
7th Michele Bravi, Inverno dei fiori
8th Rkomi, Insuperabile
9th Achille Lauro, Domenica
10th Giusy Ferreri, Miele
11th Yuman, Ora e qui
12th Ana mena, Duecentomila ore
PERSONAL RANKING 1st NIGHT:
1st Mahmood and Blanco, Brividi
2nd The representative of the list, Ciao ciao
3rd Noemi, Ti amo non lo so dire
4th Dargen D'Amico, Dove si balla
5th Massimo Ranieri, Lettera di là dal mare
6th Yuman, Ora e qui
7th Michele Bravi, Inverno dei fiori
8th Rkomi, Insuperabile
9th Giusy Ferreri, Miele
10th Achille Lauro, Domenica
11th Gianni Morandi, Apri tutte le porte
12th Ana mena, Duecentomila ore
SECOND NIGHT
CIRO WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE PRE-FESTIVAL-
The second night begins, still with introductory music and Amadeus entering. Amadeus is increasingly becoming Batman's butler. Honorary mention to the orchestra, well deserved, and a dedication to Monica Vitti, even more deserved. And we go to the competition, tonight we have the other 13, the provisional ranking from last night is reviewed, which you can see above. The first one...oof...I didn't want to say it, I was hoping for some sign from destiny...but no, to Sanremo comes Sangiovanni...okay, let's listen to this stew of trash with no value whatsoever (referring to the song, of course...). And the song, guess what, it's crap on all levels, here we are truly on the levels of Ana mena (no, Ana mena is worse, Wednesday-me exaggerated). If it ends on the podium thanks to the vote of girls under 15, I'll explode Liguria, again. And, like last night, after the first competing artist, the co-host for tonight arrives, Lorena Cesarini, who they tell me had a role in Gomorra (I haven't seen Gomorra, sorry, will make up for it) and the vision of New Year's drunk Amadeus calling her to invite her to Sanremo, a wonderful image. But, after the musical abyss with Sangiovanni, the most promising favorite of mine among those in competition arrives: Giovanni Truppi, go Giovanni, make us dream. After listening, one certainty: he won't climb too high in the ranking, the piece is too complex and structured for the average audience. Damn people, because I liked this a lot, who would have thought. Follows a speech from Lorena about her life also talking about racism, discrimination etc., where she comments on typical racist phrases, very cute but how long, too long, enough, cut it, I don't hate you because you're different, it is because you talk too much, YOU'RE TALKING ONLY YOU, BECAUSE I'M NOT AN AUTOMATON AT SOME POINT SOMEONE HAS TO TELL YOU THIS, [huge Censored]. After that ordeal, it's the vibrator's turn-I MEANT TO SAY Le vibrazioni. And I can say that it's an improvement on their old participation in 2020, the piece is very good musically, textually it works but the chorus didn't fully convince me. Anyway, cute piece. But there he is, in an ovation, (not) Checco Zalone arrives...because he's in the gallery, "you won't have another Bugo" says Checco, but then he comes down to go on stage with his evergreen Angela in the background. In this time arc, Checco gets Amadeus to get him water, teaches woman through an "LGBTQ" story (cit) that will remain embedded in television, and will not transpose anything to leave you the effort of finding it one day and enjoying it; follows Laura Pausini, who come on, it could have been worse, could have been together with Biagio Antonacci...brr. Laura sings us her new Scatola, which I would have gladly avoided, and another song I don't know because I'm ignorant and she sings it with Mika...why is Mika in Sanremo, didn't he have anything better to do? And Cattelan is in the orchestra...what's happening-
Afterwards, countdown of 100 days to the start of Eurovision in Turin and the fourth singer, Emma, with a piece that...meh, well-produced but nothing new under the sun. Rkomi was better. The fifth is one from new proposals, Matteo Romano, who frankly, despite the nice base and his actually good voice, didn't excite me at all, a shame. And now, what's Zanicchi's name? Iva it's called, Iva, and she sings us a Voglio amarti already sixty years old, here again no surprises, oh tonight we are very low for music quality, truly good there was only Truppi and above sufficient are him and Le vibrazioni. But now, a crucial moment: Patato gives a speech to introduce a talented boy of the new scene, Ragadi, bringing along his demons together with his producers Cisti and Fena and sings to us without fear, oh my how they were poor! After this beautiful and moving song and another presentation by Lorena Cesarini (for the aged audience, obviously) where she sings Non amarmi (was it really necessary for the sake of humankind?), hopefully, a bit of quality back in the competition: Ditonellapiaga with Rettore propose Chimica, on which I strangely had good expectations. We'll see how it ends, whether expectations will be met or thrown away. And they didn't disappoint, the piece is very catchy and unexpectedly the two of them together are the explosive duo of this Sanremo. Well done. Now it's Elisa's turn, on whom I have some expectations (at least, I don't foresee a flop): the piece is overall good, the text often falls into banally rhyming and the piece itself isn't groundbreaking, but it does its job well and manages to transport the listener, especially thanks to the voice. After this good performance, the protagonists of L'amica geniale arrive and my interest plummets to zero again, ask fans of the series what they talked about, I go back to listening to Chimica because the more I think about it, the more it's a banger. Shortly after, they introduce the ninth singer, Fabrizio Moro...eh, decent piece I guess, the text is incredibly banal but musically it has its pathos. Probably the more I listen, the worse it gets, but for now, it earns a 6 and on to home. But now, a great singer comes among us: Oronzo Carrisi, blood relative of Albano, who is not only a singer but also a virologist, although he almost gave up to do pottery, and at the end sang us a beautiful song on the pandemic called "Pandemic now as you go away" and immediately after, just removed Oronzio's remains and put on Checco Zalone's, sings us his evergreen Angela. Tears are palpable. But now, we return to the Costa Toscana with Rovazzi and Berti (dressed in tribute to Gone with the Wind...ok Orietta) to then be on the ship's stage with Ermal Meta who sings his last year's Sanremo piece (soon I'll doze off). And now, tenth singer Tananai (name probably chosen by Porky pig) with his Sesso occasionale, decisively avoidable piece sung terribly. Immediately follows the eleventh, Irama...oof, these last ones are completely down spiral. The piece could have been worse, but that doesn't justify it being good, it remains still a generic love ballad (written later: reading about the piece, I found out it's a song Irama wrote for his late grandmother who recently passed away. Coming from one who lost his grandmother last March, I greatly appreciate the intent and I'm sorry if I immediately labeled it as a love piece. However, this doesn't mean the piece is automatically good, everything I said stands, but I can't help but respect its intrinsic meaning). Next last, Aka 7even...I want to die...and after listening I want to shit, it’s one of the most childish texts of this edition, arrangement that reeks of nothing, this constant uptempo breaks my balls after 4 seconds, the refrain is horrific. We're hitting rock bottom. But it's not over yet. Thirteenth, Highsnob and Hu, please try not to blow, I want to end this evening well...it sucked in many things, but it's strangely not ugly ugly, just ugly, which is a good goal for such a piece. While waiting for the ranking, the Olympic games anthem is sung by Malika Ayane/Arisa (depending on what's voted), and clips of previous performances are shown. Fiu, it's not even one o'clock, we did early kind of.
GENERAL PROVISIONAL RANKING
1st Elisa, O forse sei tu
2nd Mahmood and Blanco, Brividi
3rd The representative of the list, Ciao ciao
4th Dargen D'Amico, Dove si balla
5th Gianni Morandi, Apri tutte le porte
6th Emma, Ogni volta è così
7th Ditonellapiaga and Rettore, Chimica
8th Massimo Ranieri, Lettera di là dal mare
9th Irama, Ovunque sarai
10th Fabrizio Moro, Sei tu
11th Giovanni Truppi, Tuo padre, mia madre, Lucia
12th Noemi, Ti amo non lo so dire
13th Sangiovanni, Farfalle
14th Michele Bravi, Inverno dei fiori
15th Rkomi, Insuperabile
16th Achille Lauro, Domenica
17th Matteo Romano, Virale
18th Highsnob and Hu, Abbi cura di te
19th Giusy Ferreri, Miele
20th Iva Zanicchi, Voglio amarti
21st Aka 7even, Perfetta così
22nd Le vibrazioni, Tantissimo
23rd Yuman, Ora e qui
24th Tananai, Sesso occasionale
25th Ana mena, Duecentomila ore
PERSONAL GENERAL RANKING
1st/2nd/3rd Giovanni Truppi, Tuo padre, mia madre, Lucia; Mahmood and Blanco, Brividi; The representative of the list, Ciao ciao
4th Ditonellapiaga and Rettore, Chimica
5th Dargen D'Amico, Dove si balla
6th Noemi, Ti amo non lo so dire
7th Elisa, O forse sei tu
8th Le vibrazioni, Tantissimo
9th Yuman, Ora e qui
10th Massimo Ranieri, Lettera di là dal mare
11th Michele Bravi, Inverno dei fiori
12th Fabrizio Moro, Sei tu
13th Rkomi, Insuperabile
14th Giusy Ferreri, Miele
15th Emma, Ogni volta è così
16th Achille Lauro, Domenica
17th Irama, Ovunque sarai
18th Hishsnob and Hu, Abbi cura di te
19th Tananai, Sesso occasionale
20th Matteo Romano, Virale
21st Gianni Morandi, Apri tutte le porte
22nd Iva Zanicchi, Voglio amarti
23rd Aka 7even, Perfetta così
24th Sangiovanni, Farfalle
25th Ana mena, Duecentomila ore
THIRD NIGHT
Let's go, again. Introductory play, Amadeus enters, and we begin: the new president is mentioned (better than Berlusca) and the orchestra plays in his honor Grande grande grande by Mina and we start with the competition, tonight we have all 25 singers and I'll pupp my way through them all, partly to be complete with this writing partly to see if any song improves or worsens. But tonight, there's televoting, and there, I'm sure I'll rise against the whole of Italy. First to sing is Giusy Ferreri, of which I can't currently remember what I wrote, but it sounds like something I've already heard, musically good but probably over time I'll confuse it with a thousand more songs. But remove that megaphone, it's unbearable. Follow Highsnob and Hu, my opinion has stayed roughly the same. Starting to rap immediately on a slow base sounds a bit bad. After a gift to Amadeus from someone unknown to me, judgment time arrives: Fabrizio Moro, his piece stayed on 6, and I have to re-listen to clarify better what I think of it...currently, it's slightly improved. A piece that arouses something, the only major flaw the banal text. Follow Aka 7even, I don't think I need to say any more. Enters tonight's co-host, Drusilla Foer, and she immediately starts singing a song...oh no...okay mute her or else I'll slap her. Once she's stopped, she announces Massimo Ranieri, whose piece gave me the same impressions as last time. Follow Dargen D'Amico and his Dove si balla, which improves more as you listen. Right level of flashy, but it also has a taste of meta-song/parody of certain recent Sanremo hits like Una vita in vacanza and similar. We move on with Irama, my opinion hasn't changed much, it remains a recent generic Sanremo piece but it doesn't even have its musical or vocal pathos as in Moro or Ranieri's cases. The chorus was okay, I guess (?), but beyond that, nothing new to say. But now, the super guest of the evening: Cesare Cremonini, who sings a medley of his songs, then return Ditonellapiaga and Rettore with their always beautiful Chimica, Michele Bravi of whom I finally have an opinion, just copy-paste what I said about Moro, remove a bit of musical pathos and add in the lyrics some poetic phrases that mean nothing. Oh, I feel better now, now I can say Michele Bravi's piece is what it is. Moving swiftly to the tenth, Rkomi, he continues to have done worse in his career. But, back-breaking shock, funky music and the announcement of the World Nutella day, and we go with Mahmood and Blanco, always good, always a nice piece, and immediately after the next...why is Zorro here? Ah, it's Drusilla...well, let's move on. Next, Gianni Morandi, the piece stayed as before, rather, in certain places it worsened. Back on stage Cremonini, singing us his new single La ragazza del futuro (very good actually) and once again proposing his old 50 special (...no). But we continue with the competition, Tananai and his Sesso occasionale, which remained quite unbearable, especially at this late hour. Fun fact: grasping the camera, he fogged a portion of the footage. Moment that made me laugh more than anything in Sanremo. Highest poetry. We pass quickly (so to speak) to the next competing artist, Elisa: here too, my opinion hasn't changed at all, the piece remains very nice. After Elisa, a moment to remember the Capaci massacre and another massacre whose name I don't recall now, forgive me; moreover, this moment serves to deliver a message against the mafia, remembering Falcone and Borsellino with an intervention by Roberto Saviano with a speech. Always well-liked similar things. After Saviano promoting a little his series Insider, we return to the Costa Toscana with Rovazzi and Oriettona (dressed as...flower, I believe? Oh no, powder puff) which subsequently will lead to a performance on the ship by Gaia, who sings Cuore amaro (Ass and ring, for friends). Am...now, I tell you from the heart: SING THE COMPETITORS DAMMIT IT'S MIDNIGHT, AND WE STILL HAVE ELEVEN TO GO, GO. Fine, good: fifteenth, The representative of the list, piece left unchanged, always a pretty bomb. After Liguria's ad and more Drusilla's speeches AMEEEEDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEThat yet again with the competition, Iva the name is Iva, I would only brutally skip because listening to this feels as being forced to pray on a tub of chickpeas. Followed immediately by Achille Lauro, changes little from the last time, it's always just an Achille Lauro piece but gospel. Amedeus calls on stage Anna Valle, actress of the fiction Lea, and at this point, I get annoyed as they start chatting, cut off and I go do something else; after the talk, they present the next singer, Matteo Romano immediately followed by Ana mena...who cares, listening to Ana mena at half-past midnight is the greatest emptiness you can experience. I now notice that the chorus has the same vocal melody as Amandoti by CCCP. Screw this piece that ruined a beautiful song, I would like to blow up the Ariston and kill by bare hands all those who will applaud this musical abortion. I want. get to Saturday as soon as possible, I'm done. After Amadeus tripping through the orchestra, we move on: San...vehuicdavuuihvsf...ENOUGH, DAMN TO THIS STUFF, SANGIOVANNI, GO HOME, SING THIS CRAP IN THE SHOWER AND DON'T BOTHER US. Sorry, I'm snapping bad tonight but after three sleepless days I'm becoming irritable. If also in front there is that smug face, I lose control. I go for a coffee and return. On stage comes Martina Pigliapoco, a police officer protagonist of a news story a few months ago, who convinced a woman not to commit suicide. After snapping with Ana mena and Sangiovanni, this brings me back to my senses. You won't have me Sanremo, I'm smarter than a Sangiovanni. After this, Martina presents us the next competing artist, Emma, a piece full of good intentions but sounds very vague and could have more strength given the theme discussed. Darn it. And we move on with Yuman, who I liked more than the day before yesterday, the best of the pieces from those who came out of Sanremo giovani, Yuman has a nice voice, the piece has its monotonous rhythm but not boring, the piece itself sounds good, the arrangement is very well constructed, the text is what it is and could have been much more dynamic the song itself, but oh well. Surprisingly, much better than others. Third last, Le vibrazioni: why this isn't being appreciated but Dov'è from two years ago was almost on the podium, I'll never understand. If you dismiss the rather tedious yet forgettable chorus, the piece works, the lyrics are good (what it conveys is what Quando trovo te by Renga did last year, but much better), and the music works. Yes, sometimes the singer misses a note, but who cares, sincerely, the piece works, and it saddens me not everyone else thinks like I do. Penultimate, Giovanni Truppi, I've already said what I could say and saying more would make me feel silly reading back. He's a great. Still in that vest, but still great (I joke, but there are people who have thrown dirt because he's in a vest, not even Sanremo but the new season of Ma come ti vesti. I can already see Amadeus transfiguring into Enzo Miccio and yelling at Giovanni). And the last singer, Noemi, nothing new to say, the piece remained catchy and of good level. One of the few I'd re-listen to and that is genuinely good. After the performance, the televoting stops, and we await the classification- DRUSILLA WHAT ARE YOU DOING. Okay, now it should be a good moment: Drusilla should do what she knows how to do, speak. And she does even okay, talking about diversity. It falls into the rhetoric sometimes, but better than yesterday's. I think she sang at some point, but I'm tired. The second general ranking arrives (with Demoscopica and Televoting), I note it, start preparing the material for invading Sanremo, and die...for a few hours.
SECOND GENERAL RANKING
1st Mahmood and Blanco, Brividi
2nd Elisa, O forse sei tu
3rd Gianni Morandi, Apri tutte le porte
4th Irama, Ovunqe sarai
5th Sangiovanni, Farfalle (I kill you all :) )
6th Emma, Ogni volta è così
7th Massimo Ranieri, Lettera di là dal mare
8th Fabrizio Moro, Sei tu
9th The representative of the list, Ciao ciao
10th Dargen D'Amico, Dove si balla
11th Michele Bravi, Inverno dei fiori
12th Ditonellapiaga and Rettore, Chimica
13th Aka 7even, Perfetta così
14th Achille Lauro, Domenica
15th Noemi, Ti amo non lo so dire
16th Rkomi, Insuperabile
17th Matteo Romano, Virale
18th Iva Zanicchi, Voglio amarti
19th Giovanni Truppi, Tuo padre, mia madre, Lucia
20th Highsnob and Hu, Abbi cura di te
21st Giusy Ferreri, Miele
22nd Le vibrazioni, Tantissimo
23rd Yuman, Ora e qui
24th Ana mena, Duecentomila ore
25th Tananai, Sesso occasionale
FOURTH NIGHT
The orchestra plays and Amadeus arrives. As per the usual. Orchestra Amadeus then thanks. Tonight cover night, promises to be an evening full of interesting choices and some very meh ones. First cover, (You make me feel) a natural woman by Aretha Franklin sung by Noemi, good enough. A duet would have been appreciated though. Second cover, and here we are at the main event of the evening: Nella mia ora di libertà by Fabrizio De Andrè sung by Giovanni Truppi with Vinicio Capossela (with Mauro Pagani playing harmonica); it doesn't have the same pathos as the original and Truppi and Capossela could have interpreted it better, maybe merging their voices a little instead of doing "segments" where first one sings and then the other, but who cares, it's still an excellent cover. Then comes tonight's co-host Maria Chiara Giannetta, after the usual little act goes with the third cover, My way by Frank Sinatra sung by Yuman with Rita Marcotulli on piano, decent, he sings fairly. Number 4, Live and let die by Paul McCartney re-sung by Le vibrazioni with Sophie and the giants and Beppe Vessicchio (grandeee) on piano...meh, it was a cover. But it's the king's funeral song in Shrek third. Fifth, A muso duro by Pierangelo Bertoli sung by Sangiovanni with Mannoia. It is not a Sangiovanni piece or at least a crap piece, so I hope for decency. Nice how a song in which Sangiovanni is perfectly described as a character in the music scene and Sangiovanni is singing about not wanting to be that...but he is. Can you feel this oxymoron atmosphere in the air? Anyway, decent cover despite Sangiovanni's voice ruins it more than it may appear. Mannoia always wins. The sixth, and here huge trash premises: Hit me baby one more time by Britney Spears sung by Emma with Michelin. Already the song is not a masterpiece per se, but building all these orchestral architectures over it falls into the ridiculous. Seventh cover (fast paced tonight), a medley made by Gianni Morandi and...Jovanotti...damn it. Occhi di ragazza, Un mondo d'amore, Ragazzo fortunato, Penso positivo...maybe less self-promotion next time. Eighth cover, What a feelin' by Irene Cara sung by Elisa with Elena D'Amario dancing, with a final message from Giorgio Moroder. Here Elisa's voice completely shines, indeed as an interpreter works much better than singing her pieces (remaining on good levels though). As a friend said, "Elisa could sing the whole periodic table of elements and move you with how well she sings". Ninth, Sei bellissima by Bertè sung by Achille Lauro with the same Bertè. Bertè can't be listened to, but neither Lauro helps. This was quite bad. After a banal letter from Lauro to Bertè, the return of Giannetta and arrival of Lino Guanciale for an embarrassing act in which Giannetta and Guanciale speak quoting songs (For the first time I said cringe, wow). Tenth, Your song by Elton John sung by Matteo Romano with Malika Ayane, strange but good interpretation. Eleven, La mia storia tra le dita by Gianluca Grignani sung by Irama and Gianluca Grignani. Okay interpretation, it's the piece itself that doesn't please me. After once again being reminded that tomorrow is Nutella world day, twelfth, Nessuno mi può giudicare by Caterina Caselli sung by Ditonellapiaga and Donatella Rettore. Very energetic, nice cover. Thirteenth, Canzone by Milva sung by Iva Zanicchi. If it wasn't sung by Zanicchi, it would have been even good, but sung by her, it's at parts unbearable. Nice thought, though. Fourteenth, Medley of: Il mondo by Jimmy Fontana, Figli delle stelle by Alan Sorrenti and Se mi lasci non vale by Julio Iglesia, sung by Ana mena with Rocco Hunt. Ana sings Il mondo horribly, Rocco Hunt adds an utterly unnecessary rap stanza for Figli delle stelle (not counting the metaphysically shit interpretation of Ana and Rocco), Se mi lasci non vale comes better, is already more their strings. Almost-disaster. Fifteenth, Be my baby by The Ronettes sung by La rappresentante di lista with Cosmo, Margherita Vicario and Ginevra. Excellent cover, everyone did a good job making this cover so successful and modern. Sixteenth, Anna verrà by Pino Daniele sung by Massimo Ranieri with Nek (Nek...N E K). Massimo Ranieri and Nek have no match together, a bit like making a fruit salad and covering it with coffee, but despite that the cover works. Now, the "superfriends" (Amadeus' cit), Jovanotti, who tells us anecdotes from his and Amadeus' past, makes Ame draw his artwork on a school desk like the child in punishment at the last desk while Jova recites a piece by an author I didn't hear because I was snoring hard, then sings Ricchi e poveri and sponsors the Jova Bitch party (cit.punisher). Back to the Costa Toscana with Rovazzi and Orietta Berti (dressed as...oh, seems almost normal) and moves to the performance by Pinguini tattici nucleari. who sing their Ringo Starr. We return to the competition: seventeenth piece, Io vorrei non vorrei ma se vuoi interpreted by Michele Bravi. Ugly, unfortunate making this piece without any pathos due to the voice losing expressiveness in whispered parts and where in sung parts it feels almost forced. After Michè's dedication to his grandparents, eighteenth piece, Il cielo in una stanza by Gino Paoli sung by Mahmood and Blanco. Somehow, I was almost about to cry. Wonderful, these two together are fantastic. Ame mentions Rai radio 2 (which he did in previous evenings, I say it now out of laziness) and goes with number 19, a medley of Vasco Rossi (Fegato spappolato, Deviazioni and Cosa succede in città) sung by Rkomi with Calibro 35, it doesn't promise well. Rkomi immediately goes shirtless. Little girls scream, I have a spasm. But, regardless of all attempts by Rkomi with chest and voice, the medley is played very well. At the end of the performance, a trash moment happens where Amadeus puts on the shirt and starts doing push-ups together with Rkomi. Thankfully Sanremo only lasts 5 days and not a month. Commercial for the series with Giannetta (they make more ads for series than for the artists' music almost) and proposes a speech on disability that's really begging the question and fart on it (a better job was done by Fabio of The Jackal at a point during the reaction to Sanremo, go check it during the fourth night's reaction). And twentieth piece, Cambiare by Alex Baroni sung by Aka 7even with Arisa. Ehm, it’s a cover. Who cares, I said during listening. Twenty-first, Mi sono innamorato di te by Luigi Tenco re-sung by Highsnob and Hu with Mr.Rain. Good voices of both, good arrangement, but the piece doesn't sound great as a whole. Mr.rain serves no purpose in the coverage's economy. Lino Guanciale returns among us common mortals, I send the whole of Italy to shit and replay Chimica, fuck all of them making me waste hours in the nothingness of this Lino. And going with the twenty-second piece, La bambola by Patty Pravo sung by Dargen D'Amico. This guy is a half-revelation in this Festival: an artist practically from nowhere (figuratively speaking, he has his nice career) gifting a dance piece with a meta-hit flavor and overturns Patty Pravo's La bambola, making it modern and adding a rap verse, which isn't bad, but is a "hit or miss" with some relevant and other completely off sentences. Bravo nonetheless. Follows the Liguria commercial (recited by one born and raised in Cagliari, hearing her say "My Liguria" is hysteric). The twenty-third piece, Io vivrò senza te by Lucio Battisti sung by Giusy Ferreri with Andy, from Bluvertigo (he’s looking well though). Functions very well, the orchestra does its job properly, Andy at the end gifts us his always wonderful sax, if Giusy wasn't sounding like she was gargling at times, it would be appreciated. Giannetta returns, I pray for her not to start again another appallingly terrible goodness-filled speech, but she doesn't and instead presents the twenty-fourth piece, Uomini soli by Pooh sung by Fabrizio Moro. Unfortunately, no duet with Paolo Bitta, missed opportunity. As for the piece sung by Irama, good cover, it’s the song itself that doesn't please me. And twenty-fifth, A far l'amore comincia tu by Raffaella Carrà sung by Tananai and Rose Chemical (bleah). On Tananai's third day, it’s official: Tananai can't sing. Rose Chemical has a horrible intervention in the middle of the piece. This isn't a cover, this is a contrapasso that can be found in Hell. After the commercial, DJ MASSIMO ALBERTI! LET'S DANCE! GIVE ME THIS RANKING SO I CAN SLEEP!
The top 3 of this evening arrives, I listen, they replay the first place's piece, I fall asleep and wait for tomorrow, to see how the hell it will end. The next morning, I grab the general ranking after the evening
TOP 3 COVER NIGHT
1st Gianni Morandi and Jovanotti, Medley (also rewarded a prize)
2nd Mahmood and Blanco, Il cielo in una stanza
3rd Elisa, What a feeling
THIRD GENERAL RANKING
1st Mahmood and Blanco, Brividi
2nd Gianni Morandi, Apri tutte le porte
3rd Elisa, O forse sei tu
4th Irama, Ovunqe sarai
5th Sangiovanni, Farfalle (I kill you all :))
6th Emma, Ogni volta è così
7th The representative of the list, Ciao ciao
8th Massimo Ranieri, Lettera di là dal mare
9th Fabrizio Moro, Sei tu
10th Michele Bravi, Inverno dei fiori
11th Achille Lauro, Domenica
12th Matteo Romano, Virale
13th Dargen D'Amico, Dove si balla
14th Aka 7even, Perfetta così
15th Noemi, Ti amo non lo so dire
16th Ditonellapiaga and Rettore, Chimica
17th Iva Zanicchi, Voglio amarti
18th Giovanni Truppi, Tuo padre, mia madre, Lucia
19th Rkomi, Insuperabile
20th Le vibrazioni, Tantissimo
21st Yuman, Ora e qui
22nd Highsnob and Hu, Abbi cura di te
23rd Giusy Ferreri, Miele
24th Ana mena, Duecentomila ore
25th Tananai, Sesso occasionale
FIFTH NIGHT
You'll never guess how it starts. AND SURPRISE. A band plays the national anthem and exits playing the march Armi e brio. Tonight, the final: televoting will decide if Sangiovanni ends up on the podium or not. We already know the winner though. Let's start with Matteo Romano, Giusy Ferreri, and Rkomi, with Amadeus becoming master-cringe when interacting with Rkomi. The last co-host appears, Sabrina Ferilli, who immediately inspects Amadeus to see where his batteries are (...no one says it in the ass, we're not 9) and we go on with the competition with Zanicchi, Aka 7even, Massimo Ranieri, Noemi, Fabrizio Moro, and Dargen D'Amico. Ferilli returns and Amadeus gives her a moment on stage and she starts talking about what she could talk about then talks a bit about everything. Back to the competition, next to sing are Elisa and Irama; but, a quick moment to talk about the World Nutella day, a guest group arrives, the blue butterflies, performing a dance number. And we go on with Michele Bravi, La rappresentante di lista, Emma, Mahmood and Blanco, Hishsnob and Hu. Then, a moment where Marco Mengoni and Filippo Scotti read comments about Sanremo ("A week of vacation would be needed for the Sanremo week", relatable), plus other significantly more "cruel" comments not on Sanremo, finally turning it all into a message against keyboard warriors. Progression effective as much as a pillow shredded and humped by a puppy, finishes with Mengoni singing one of his songs (I think? I don't know anything about Mengoni, except the one that went "And I'll stay by your side for as long as you want"). Good intention, but in the end, it's a bit of wasted time that could have been used to carry on with the competition. And the competition goes on with Sangiovanni, Gianni Morandi, Ferilli returns (with an accompanying moment dedicated to Lucio Dalla, for the tenth anniversary of the death. It wasn't needed in such blatant randomness especially, without any emotion) and we move to Ditonellapiaga and Donatella Rettore. And we reconnect with the Costa Toscana together with Rovazzi and Orietta Berti dressed as Blue Fairy reimagined with sea colors (? I don't know), and surprisingly singing are Rovazzi doing Mi sono innamorato di te in piano version and Orietta Berti Parole parole parole, then Orietta singing Luna piena (don't ask now we're adrift). Back to the competition with Yuman and Achille Lauro, then passing to seeing dancers of a musical called Ballo ballo, honoring Raffaellà Carrà (well, by the way). Back to the competition, let's go with Ana mena, Tananai, a quick link to the Italian pavilion at Expo 2020 in Dubai and back to the competition's grand finale with Giovanni Truppi, Amadeus picking up his wife and going in the gallery to announce Le vibrazioni. The televoting halts, meanwhile Marco Mengoni returns to sing his song (as already said, not familiar). And the general ranking comes except for the top 3
FINAL RANKING (EXCLUDING THE FIRST 3)
4th Irama, Ovunque sarai
5th Sangiovanni, Farfalle
6th Emma, Ogni volta è così
7th The representative of the list, Ciao ciao
8th Massimo Ranieri, Lettera di là dal mare
9th Dargen D'Amico, Dove si balla
10th Michele Bravi, Inverno dei fiori
11th Matteo Romano, Virale
12th Fabrizio Moro, Sei tu
13th Aka 7even, Perfetta così
14th Achille Lauro, Domenica
15th Noemi, Ti amo non lo so dire
16th Ditonellapiaga and Rettore, Chimica
17th Rkomi, Insuperabile
18th Iva Zanicchi, Voglio amarti
19th Giovanni Truppi, Tuo padre, mia madre, Lucia
20th Highsnob and Hu, Abbi cura di te
21st Yuman, Ora e qui
22nd Le vibrazioni, Tantissimo
23rd Giusy Ferreri, Miele
24th Ana mena, Duecentomila ore
25th Tananai, Sesso occasionale
Predictably as it has always been since two nights ago, first place is contested between Gianni Morandi, Elisa and Mahmood and Blanco. We already know who wins anyway. Meanwhile, Ferilli wrote an ode for Amadeus. Okay. Then comes Orietta Berti who sings Luna piena again aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I'm on the edge, I let myself be carried away by the void happening and might happen and fade away mentally. Rovazzi arrives as well, hope he doesn't sing otherwise I'd run over him with his famous tractor on the interchange CALL ME OWL, he proposes Amadeus rap and sings...well, something. At this point, I do something else. Televoting halts for the top 3 and awards are given:
THE AWARDS
Critics' Mia Martini Award: Massimo Ranieri, Lettera di là dal mare
Press Room Lucio Dalla Award: Gianni Morandi, Apri tutte le porte
Sergio Bardotti Best Lyrics Award: Fabrizio Moro, Sei tu
Giancarlo Bigazzi Best Musical Composition Award: Elisa, O forse sei tu
It’s time. The three/four artists come on stage. The envelope arrives and lots more people, one of which carries the first prize. Third place...Gianni Morandi. Remaining Elisa and Mahmood and Blanco. After Gianni’s thanks, the winner arrives. And the winner of the 72nd edition of Sanremo is...you already know it. From the first moment, it was clear.
Thank you all for reading, I don’t know if I’ll be back next year. In case, bye-bye
"And I get chills"
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