I Sciosciammocca
Te Fete O' Pere

In summer, it happens to indulge in small follies, whether it’s due to the scorching climate or the enchanting atmosphere that stirs great enthusiasm. Well, I too committed a small folly this summer: bored with the repetitive Rai and Mediaset schedules, I surfed through private television channels and stopped on one in particular, a certain Televolla (Volla is a town in the province of Naples), which I later nicknamed "The poor man's MTV" or "of fetummi" (shoddy things, rubbish). Why, you ask? Just watch the overly simplistic and embarrassing videos that the local network airs, and you’ll more than agree with me. Fortunately, though, there is something that evokes laughter, even if it is not artistically significant (its musical importance is less than zero).

The "artists" in question are the Sciosciammocca (a name derived from a character in the plays of Edoardo Scarpetta; note the grammatical error in the article with the name), consisting of Alessio (also a solo neomelodic singer) and, I'm not sure if that's really his name, Giovanni. The two have a nice phone number superimposed, in case anyone wants to call them to make fun of them. Their signature piece, "Te fete o' pere" (your foot stinks), features lyrics, a melody, and a video that must be mentioned for their hilarity. A video with a long introduction, in the style of “Uomini e donne”: Alessio, a handsome guy, meets Giovanni, who for the occasion dressed as a woman with rather embarrassing results: next to him, even a monkey would be like Manuela Arcuri, to use an understatement. The two hang out, go dancing, go to the pool, exchange loving gestures, like two lovebirds. However, a... ehm... small flaw arises: the "girl's" feet emit a strong odor, causing Alessiuccio to faint. From this moment the "crystalline" neomelodic rhythms open up, based on sounds that are relatively ridiculous, hackneyed and overused, with the tuned voices of Giovanni and Alessio, who act passionately and crudely with their amorous and incessant intonations.

The pre-chorus is truly unique: "Sciacquate sti piè, fa' ampresse sciacquate sti piè" (wash these feet, hurry, wash these feet), pronounced with a repetitive rhythm that sticks in your mind due to its delicate choice of words. But the main event is the chorus: "Te fete o’ pere, cchiù assaje r’ajere, anch’ se è ffort o’ sntiment nui c’ammà lassà pcchè te fete o’ pere.." (your foot stinks, more than yesterday, even if the feeling is strong, we have to break up because your foot stinks...). The laughs I had will remain in the history of my life (consider that during the chorus, a video played of the fainting caused by the smell), not so much because of the words but because of the musical context: it’s surprising to see these words set to music. The song is now stuck in my head, and I’m thinking about downloading it to ease my sad moments. I recommend you listen to it to lift your spirits a bit (if you’re Neapolitan, otherwise you might struggle to understand it). On the side, I provide the link, in case you want to visit the site of these two promoters of neo-melodic-nonsense. Good laughs and above all Merry Christmas, users and Editors!

P.S.: I didn’t put a score because I couldn't decide whether to give a 5 for humor or a 1 for musical quality. Please editors publish it (not among literary cases): this is a real group, it is pure truth.