Hikaru Utada
Ultra Blue

I had downloaaaaded this album, can I say that? Will I get arrested? No, because if they arrest me, I'll take it back, I mean, no problem. Don't mind it, it wasn't me! You have no evidence anyway... right. I was saying, I had downlooooaded this album a little while ago and on my good old PC, the aforementioned album stayed for a long time before my good old PC started complaining about space. So I didn't think much about it and deleted it. I say, a real man must listen to real music!! Velvet Underground, Television, Sonic Youth!! And damn!!  Or maybe Mozart or Bach, which is even truer music and no one can say anything to you! What the hell did this Japanese girl want from me? I'm sure there are even hotter ones around. I'd bet my great-great-grandfather’s balls on it. So, not much time passed before I downloaded it again. Exactly, God have mercy on me. I have listened to this disc millions of times and even grown tired without ever really getting tired of it. In practice, the notes contained therein secrete a sort of highly hallucinogenic and psychoactive substance, so you can even convince yourself that Utada has a nice voice, or that, poor you at this point, the arrangements are less banal than a pop song requires. The question therefore arises spontaneously and adds to those enigmas that for centuries have been gripping the mental sanity of mentors who lie and do not. Those questions along the lines of: is house music or not? Does it stand for house? But are there people who actually like punk? Did they know how to play and pretend or did they pretend to pretend not to know how to pretend to play? But is it beautiful what is beautiful or what turns you on? So, the question that arises is this: but why do I like Utada? I mean, not her obviously, you consider her hot just because she's from Japan, I mean her music. Assuming it's hers. There are people who have gone crazy in search of an answer. People who, now considering themselves tainted by the filth of our Utada's techno-japan-tamar-pop, have preferred to end their sad life by diving into a tank of carnivorous cucumbers. Which is not a pleasant end. The truth perhaps lies in the fact that the Utada is somewhat an intensive therapy resting on ball-busting, so in the end, after busting your balls enough, if you have them (if not, a transplant is advisable, should the therapy interest you) you feel happy, joyful, at peace with yourself. Sweaty like a seal but happy. I assure you. I mean, not even listening to Lateralus by Tool has this effect on me!! Anyway, I say, it's not a small thing after all. Reflect on it, everything has a price. A bit of ball-busting is the price of happiness. I guess it's the same dynamics as marriage. This record will have a price somewhere too. Maybe I'll think about it sometime, instead of going to the pharmacy I’ll go to the record store. If I'm not dead before the stores disappear, that is. Meh. Now, anyway, I'll call Utada and propose she has a record produced by Aphex Twin, let's see what she thinks.

Cordially yours: the crazy one.