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Rating: I begin this review by saying that Heatmiser is a band from Portland from the 90s that had a slight "Grunge" vibe, but with their own personality. They stood out in the mire... no, that doesn’t work. That's not the point. The point is that Heatmiser is Elliott Smith and Neil Gust's band (the big guy featured on the cover of Roman Candle), which formed when Elliott graduated from Hampshire College with a thesis in philosophy and political science and returned to his father's Portland. It's 1991, but that's not the point.
The point is that Elliott Smith and I fell in love at first sight in a living room of some apartment in Battersea. We both had a headache and the gloominess of the morning after the night out, both needed something else as we observed the empty cans left on the table and that's how it was. Cupid struck my ass at the first chorus of the first song on his first album... "I'm a roman candle, My head is full of flames".
This is how one falls in love, without thinking, believing it's a matter of chance, but it's not true: there's always an explanation for everything. Elliott Smith is a Cesare Pavese with battered jeans and a guitar to play and I already loved the one who was only armed with a pen. Both live off synthesis, both strip away any formal vanity, both are aliens, both speak of loneliness in the multitude, both write about wild nights and the morning headache post-wild night, both kill themselves living, both just kill themselves, perhaps in solitude.
Heatmiser is not Elliott Smith's side project. They are the project before fate decides the priorities. Indie-Rock in the classic sense of the term, somewhat generational with its ripped jeans and greasy hair, a bit fuzzy, but built on melody without giving up rhythmic variants not for everyone. A simple version of something extremely simple made by Fugazi deciding to make simple songs.
Cop and Speeder was released in 1994, a few months before Roman Candle. Fourteen years later, in the shadow of the best songwriter of his generation, in the distance of success and red carpets, a distance from a contract with Caroline, a distance from a sad legend, this album (their best according to the writer) remains confined in the shadow, reinforcing once again my idea that bad luck is always the best of all reasons. I am only consoled by the fact that from so much bad luck something capable of making blood pump in the right way, of making you feel a bit more alive, occasionally emerges.
"You can endure being alone as long as someone suffers from not having you with them, while true solitude is an unbearable cell" Cesare Pavese.
Tracklist and Lyrics
02 Bastard John (02:56)
come here in silence and kiss me quiet lying on the floor
i'm acting dumb like you wanted
but i'm not your kid anymore
i'm not your bastard john
just because i played along
i'm not your bastard john
just because i played along
you're just a comma
you give me pause with your temporary charm
but i'm distorted
can't you see it when i'm underneath you
trying not to look alarmed
i'm not your bastard john
just because i played along
i'm not your bastard john
i'm not your bastard john
so don't try to fake me out
with some bulls*** promise that you didn't have to say
you present to me
just keeps on giving every damn day
i'm not your bastard john
03 Flame! (02:46)
i always find out too late
i always find out too late
you wouldn't believe what i'm on
in all this time i found nothing to live without it for
chorus:
help me only
help me only
help me get on my feet
i feel like turning me down
i feel like turning me down
good to see ya anne maria (?)
i never was anything
can't be happy or unhappy
you wouldn't believe what i'm on
in all this time i found nothing to live without it for
oh, what are you now?
oh, what are you now?
what's wrong with you little flame?
what's wrong with you little flame?
i been trying to cool off for so long
in all this time i found nothing to stop real pain
chorus
05 Why Did I Decide to Stay? (03:01)
kept my coat on
while you put your empty arms around me
kept my shirt on
and wrestled my memory down
when i put my arm around you
i had to hold my mand in place
i didn't move to keep you from feeling chased
dropping off
you smile easy
what was i supposed to say?
hits the ground
and it dies easy
why did i decide to stay?
looks like i should forget you now
underneath the covers i'm not naked
maybe you were never next to me
does all recorded history start tomorrow morning?
did you forget or were your kisses my final warning?
a spent bullet brought me down
add me to the list you stopped with blanks
or how about a rundown of the top 100
where do i rank
did i even make the list
or did i make a big mistake?
dropping off
you smile easy
what was i supposed to say
06 Collect to NYC (02:55)
You're a silence on the phone
Yo're a song with just one f***ing note
And I'm clued out cole
Like an off-color joke
When I call collect to nyc
Everybody learns eventually
To go hang it up
You go hang it up
It's really really easy
Yeah I put your letter down
But this graffiti finds it's way around
I want to talk
Why you want to stop?
It's impossible for me
So here's my trick: when I hear your "hello"
I know I'm listening to alcohol
Oh, I'm drunk on a call
I heard you found some other guy
Some high note you thought I couldn't hit
But I never tried
No I never did
07 Hitting on the Waiter (01:55)
i'm so sick of having hope
pushing the envelope
with empty threats and false teeth
my drink's been poured by a cannibal
and my corpse ain't even cold
and you want to take it away from me
i know you'll take the blue ribbon
i shop myself with the starting gun
you're more cop than speeder
hitting onthe waiter
and eating off the plate of the enemy
but i'd rather just forget about the jerking in my sleep
and the hollow words under me
but i've got second thoughts again
second thoughts again
or am i second guessing
or just in second place?
i've got a one year old hangover
feels like i never will recover
but i can keep a poker face
for the rest of the chase
13 Trap Door (03:23)
what a monster this kissing disease
did the paramedic bring you back?
or was he dropping you off for the night
in broad daylight?
i can't stand up in here
i hit my head on your trap door
can't come down to see you
because i'm not that kind of girl
why should i listen?
you already kissed him
and already replaced him
the telephone is my enemy now
i'm giving in if i make a call
how could i lose to a weaker hand
lie down lie down it's bigger than i can stand
up in here
i hit my head on your trap door
can't come down to see you
because i'm not that kind of girl
why should i listen?
you already kissed him
and already replaced him
you always cut me off and in half
and think you can put it back
i know i've been had but ii'll still take you home
so lie down lie down you're leaving just standing up
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