Hammers of Misfortune
The Bastard: A Tale Told in Three Acts

Holy shit, what the hell is this album...

Ladies and gentlemen, today I'm talking about what is probably one of the most powerful and epic albums I have ever heard. "The Bastard", the debut album by Californian band Hammers of Misfortune, is the representation of a band that debuted with a bang. The Bastard is a concept album made up of 14 tracks, totaling 46 minutes and 10 seconds, and tells the story of a bastard (as the album's title suggests), son of a tyrant king, abandoned by him to avoid having heirs, raised by tree creatures and trolls, and closely tied to a bloody prophecy, amidst witches, ancient stories, kingdoms destined to fall, and an accursed axe forged in hell. Now that I've briefly told you the story of The Bastard, let's talk about the music... which is a fucking bomb! In these 14 tracks, Hammers of Misfortune throw everything at us, ranging from Prog, to NWOBHM-styled Heavy Metal, to the cruellest and most violent Black Metal, through to Doom, with powerful, epic, and magnificent riffs that chase and recur throughout the album, cementing themselves in your brain, with varied vocals that range from clean (both male and female), to high-pitched voices redolent of 80s Heavy Metal, cacophonous screams, and rancid-bordering screeches, unforgettable passages, and mighty melodies. Frankly, I can't bring myself to talk individually about each song, because let's face it: The Bastard is a faux monotrack, in the sense that although the album is divided into tracks and chapters (3), the whole thing should always be seen as a single entity (Zwack), because all the tracks are intertwined, ergo you need to listen to it all the way through, like a shot of Jagermeister! The explosive debut of a band that is churning out masterpiece after masterpiece, like the album that follows "The Bastard", "The August Engine", or "The Locust Years", and all the others, up to the last album released just this July, "Dead Revolution", which I still have to properly listen to but don't worry. Expect my next review on that album!