Hammerfall
Chapter V: Unbent, Unbowed, Unbroken

THE REVIEW

The group we're talking about is Hammerfall, those German clowns who can't play and every song they make is boring. They play power metal, a genre I used to quite like but now, with this album, I've come to hate. Their songs are bland and all sound the same, evoking no emotions. Not to mention the banal and childish lyrics that mean absolutely nothing!

I don't like the drummer, the guitars are noisy and lack technicality, and the singer's voice is absolutely annoying and unengaging. Their originality is comparable to that of an old decrepit man who thinks of nothing but a good set of dentures. When I listen to this CD, I get diarrhea attacks and become pessimistic. The most disturbing thing is that they are considered metal, which is a gross blasphemy. There's absolutely nothing redeemable in their discography; it's all trash. I even hate them when they do their idiotic and childish choruses.

Recently they went on tour with Stratovarius, I can only imagine what a pain in the ass that is... And the Hammerfall t-shirts with that damn knight with the hammer... There's absolutely nothing in their albums that makes them seem innovative; in fact, they might almost be a new and miraculous laxative with immediate effects. I call upon all true metalheads to give a negative vote to the album that sullies the name of metal along with many other crappy bands like these. If you listen to this group, I won't ridicule or offend you, but I will simply advise you to listen to Trash Metal!!!!!!!