Green Day
Slappy EP

Usually, I don’t like playing hopscotch in a minefield. I prefer more enjoyable and relaxing activities, such as listening to light music and preventing prostate cancer. However, on a day of extreme idleness, browsing here and there, I realized that in the legen-dary DeDatabase, no one had written a single word about this EP; and, feeling particularly sassy, I couldn’t help myself.

I don’t believe the Green Day need lengthy introductions. All of you know they are an emerging group from the condemnations of those who understand music; a group that has learned all the tricks of the trade, capable of bringing to the surface themes one no longer wants to hear about, like death, and winners of numerous Grami Awards that have earned them admiration from new young talents and also attention from a few hot babes.

I also have no intention of getting lost in technical trivia: I want to get straight to the point to try to give you an idea of the kaleidoscope of emotions this incredible trio manages to immerse us in. You should know that Al Sobrante is still here, not Tre who is so Cool, and that the EP’s label is Lookout!, with which they recorded Operation Ivy, Rancid, Screeching Weasel. And then there's these guys. The cover features a cute bulldog with the same expression as a girl daydreaming about Billie Joe.

The first song, "Paper Lanterns," talks about the aforementioned Billie and his young Werther-like pains: he keeps thinking about a girl whom he can only be friends with, lying in bed munching on cookies and clenching his fist—and that’s why, for him, masturbation would eventually lose all its fun. Damn! How punk is that image! And I thought punk was this. Wow, what a scatterbrain!

The sublime pattern continues: "Why Do You Want Him?" sees the dum-bass dealing with a stubborn average teenager dating an average jerk. Deep and poignant themes. Stuff for niche heads. What more can I say about "409 In Your Coffeemaker": when Billie sings "could not seem," one feels consumed by a fury, a thrill that only certain Rollins screams can infuse. "Knowledge," finally, stands out as the best of the bunch...aaah, but wait, it’s a cover! Now everything makes sense! Still, listening to Green Day cover the group that composed "Artificial Life" hurts a little. And if with "wide open road of my future now...it's looking fucking narrow" Michaels meant certain things, for Green Day probably only glasses fell down. But the final tribute burp puts things back in place, although I would have preferred a model of "Borghezio expresses an opinion" or "fifteen-year-old in a tank top at the water fountain." A touch of class, nonetheless.

All I can do is send you here. And, if only to apologize for the babe trap, at least here. UH!