Goldie
Saturnz Return

"Saturn Returns".

That's the title of the second album by that muscular guy with gold teeth, Goldie, a man who, with just one LP, has shaped the destiny of drum & bass. I'll spare you more biographical notes on the author; if you want to discover them, go and read ZiOn's excellent dereview on his previous album, "Timeless".

I'm here instead to talk about his second (and so far last) endeavor, released in 1998 under the legendary Metalheadz label.

After "Timeless", buoyed by the success it found, Goldie decides to bust himself like a madman to create over 2 hours of music. The record he puts in our hands is nothing short of monumental. It is divided into 2 CDs, the first called "Mother", the second "Saturn".

Now, a separate discussion is needed for the first track, aptly named "Mother", the first, only (and hopefully last) attempt to create a dnb-orchestral suite. The track in question lasts 1.00.19 (no, not 1 minute and 19 seconds, but ONE HOUR and 19 SECONDS). From here, one can imagine how Goldie's intentions are to create something unforgettable, something that remains etched in everyone's mind. The piece starts with silence, then strings appear from a real orchestra, a woman's voice emitting eerie vocalizations, violins, and Goldie's own voice screaming "mother". All this (and always with the same riff!!) for the first 20 minutes. Then gradually the hi-hat comes into play and the piece is gradually infected by D'n'B, exploding for 10 minutes and then imploding, only to once again dabble with endless strings and vocalizations for another 30 minutes.

Beautiful.

The fact is that the track is incredibly dull. And even when the groove that should crack kicks in, there's a sense of being taken for a ride, as it's nothing extraordinary, and many others, let's take a Dillinja or a Photek, would know how to do it 10 times better.

I'm starting to think that Goldie, buoyed by the acclaim he received, wanted to create a work where the dominant concept is not to create a poetic, emotional piece for his mother or whoever he wants, but simply had a mere desire to overdo it. Was there really a need to create a piece this long?? In my opinion, it would have had the same exact impact if it had lasted 8 minutes. Shall we go for "unforgettable"?? Even here, I can say that the goal has miserably failed.

Besides "Mother" on the first CD, there is another song, 14 minutes long (here we go again...), titled "Truth", marking our hero's collaboration with the "White Duke" David Bowie, which consists of an endless pad with the said one's strained singing, which then turns into a dark cavern interspersed with breaths and a few piano notes. A mood piece that has definitively cured my insomnia.

I wake up. Let's listen to the second CD then....

"Temper Temper". How cool, there's Noel Gallagher, the one from Oasis!!!

I've never heard such crap in my life. It's neither dnb nor rock... it's just a totally senseless, hallucinatory thing all filled with screams which makes "Come To Daddy" seem heavenly music by comparison. I'll spare you further comments on this second CD, as the suspicion that the desire to overdo pervades both discs is now well-founded. Even the remaining tracks are incredibly dull, "Digital" seems like a Roni Size track thrown into the trash. Then we have other experiments of more atmospheric tracks and others more uptempo, but only "I'll Be There For You", "Chico/Death Of A Rockstar" and "Crystal Clear" save themselves.

After listening, my attributes have become the same size as the two CDs.

This review has now also become dull.

For all those who have had the patience to read this far, one last piece of advice: go get "Timeless" instead, it's better.