Giusy Ferreri
Non Ti Scordar Mai Di Me

Circulating without a helmet through the winding lanes of DeBaser, I am startlingly jolted by the presence of a very dangerous pothole: there is no review of Giusy Ferreri! No!

You know, tonight I'm feeling a bit constipated, so I'll personally try to inaugurate the long, I'm sure, series of reviews that will discuss this artist of worldwide fame.

Well, suddenly pulled out like a turnip from a program that evidently dealt with agricultural products (the X Factor), our Giusy swiftly dominates the charts of the Bel Paese with her single "Non ti scordar mai di me". The rise is impetuous, and it's immediately a double platinum disc.

The Italian people naturally do not fail even this time. And instead of spending those blessed euros (I don’t know how much it is, I prefer not to know) on gasoline since it's expensive, they prefer to cheerfully give them to the usual buffoon of the moment, as reused as the oil for McDonald's fries.

As a good pupil of our national Tiziano Ferro, Giusy also seems talented, but her vocalizations, in addition to dragging between agonizing '60s revivals and so-called emulations of Amy Winehouse, perhaps more faithfully represent a howl of a suppressed Newfoundland dog.

But do we actually need to talk about the content of the single? Winking sounds for desperate housewives, and a more predictable text than a bulk offer of Chinese toilet paper. Yes, because today it takes very little to make money, to succeed. But who are the people we have to thank for this exceptional musical discovery? The mythical, ubiquitous, and omniscient Simona Ventura first of all, staunch supporter of everything that is most embarrassing in the television world. But above all the guru of Italian music trash, the comascan Mara Maionchi, also producer (by chance) of Tiziano. (Yes, exactly him! The one who sings "E Raffaella è mia!!")

Of course, we are all awaiting the new album which will soon be released in the best record stores; it will be called "Gaetana" (eh?!). The singer recently declared that if the work did not have the (deserved) success, she will go back to being a cashier at Esselunga. Here, I don’t know if this supermarket chain exists where you are, but don’t worry, friends of the DeBaser community, I will take care of recording her and publishing her exceptional performances while she returns to weighing peppers...

Of course, always if you have a strong stomach. For the peppers (obviously).

See you soon from your Alevox!