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Introduction: I'm neither a fag, nor homophobic, nor sexist... Just a professional child eater.
August, it's 3:20 PM: boredom. 3:21 PM: still boredom. To lift our spirits, we change the channel. 3:22 PM, Sky channel 704: there's life. A video starts. Black and white, starting from a distance on a juke box. The frame moves closer with some indefinite background music... <<What the hell is this?>> says Cesare as he pulls his mouth away from the beer. <<No idea>> I reply.
We enter the jukebox and change the record. A pair of torn jeans appears and the frame moves up. A nice close-up of an ass and a bit of a studded leather jacket. Organs in the background. <<Must be Motley Crue>> I say, and Cesare goes: <<And who the hell are they?>>. I: <<Oh, the band of the guy who made a sex tape with Pamela Anderson>>. <<Well, at least he did something noteworthy, that bastard>> Cesare declared. We're back on the juke box. There's a chick in purple shoes and a guy with metal-tipped boots on the other side. The jerk keeps the beat. The song begins and the guy wiggles his hips, sings.
<<Got it!? It's that fag George Michael. Change it>> mumbles Cesare, but I couldn't. I was captivated. I don't know what it was, maybe the beer or the spoiled boredom, but I liked it. <<Change it>> repeats Cesare with a menacing tone <<Take this crap off>>. <<C'mon, it's funny. Shall we dance!?>> I replied. Cesare looked at me scared and said: <<Damn, are you a fag? Oh, what's going through your head?>>.
I got up from the couch, where my ass had stuck (it took at least a quarter of an hour), and took Cesare's hand, and we danced and danced. It was fun, and Cesare liked it too. After the video, we decided to continue with the fun. <<Let's do this: I'll dress up as George Michael, but the Wham period one, and you as a Hair Metal biker>> I said, and Cesare: <<What the hell is hair metal and what's this Wham?>>. After watching a couple of videos on YouTube, just to make him understand who Wham are and what hair metal is, Cesare had changed his mind, but I had already flooded his hair with hairspray.
We had another bit of beer and started fixing my eyebrows with tweezers... God, what pain, but if you have to look a bit like a gay, you have to suffer, and the eyebrow phase is nothing compared to the anal one. In fact, I didn't really like it, but to appear like an ostentatious 80s gay, the walk is important, and then pooping smoothly is convenient, it saves a lot of time.
We started looking for useful clothes in the wardrobe, and in the end, we fixed Cesare with leather boots, leather pants, leather vest, blow-dried hair, and bandana around the neck (he looked more like Carlo Verdone when he played the thug in "Viaggi di Nozze," but it worked) and me with a white outfit consisting of shorts and a tank top plus blue Superga. We were ready.
<<And now what the hell do we do?>> said Cesare. <<Let's go celebrate. We'll party all night like it's the 80s. We'll get really drunk, and then we go home and watch "Nightmare 4" and afterwards "Miami Vice">> I replied. We ran and jumped down the stairs. What joy, what carefree fun. The boredom had vanished and it felt like being a protagonist in some commercial TV program. I felt ready for "Drive In". Reaching the corner of the building, Cesare screams to me: <<Watch out>>. I don't even have time to realize that the mechanic is about to hit me with the jack (rightly so, I'd say) when I find myself lying on the ground, unconscious.
Now I'm writing to you from a hospital bed, and I can tell you, based on my eight stitches, that the 80s are over and they're not all that much fun and carefree, and based on my concussion, that unfortunately they truly existed and they hurt as well.
Anyway, this thing, which resembles a music record and is called Faith (released in 1987 by Sony), sold so much that it disturbed the fame of God, who got angry like any poor devil and first decided to pair it with the Bible (kind of like Bismarck with social policies, like movies with Panorama) and then to include it in the index of prohibited records. Listening to "Faith" can therefore provoke a prolonged stay in a warm and crowded place... before using it, consult a doctor, keep out of reach of children.
Tracklist Lyrics Samples and Videos
01 Faith (03:16)
Well, I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you.
Oh, but I gotta think twice
Before I give my heart away
And I know all the games you play
Because I play them, too.
Oh, but I need some time off from that emotion,
Time to pick my heart up off the floor.
And when that love comes down without devotion,
Well, it takes a strong man baby, but I'm
Showing you the door,
Cause I gotta have Faith
I gotta have... Faith
Because I've gotta have Faith, Faith, Faith
I gotta have Faith, Faith, Faith.
Baby, I know you're asking me to stay
Saying please, please, please don't go away
You say I'm giving you the blues.
Maybe you mean every word you say
Can't help but think of yesterday
And another who tied me down to loverboy rules
Before this river becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby, I reconsider my foolish notion
Well, I need someone to hold me,
But I'll wait for something more.
Cause I gotta have Faith...
(*Repeat Chorus*)
Before this river
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
(I've just got to have faith)
I've reconsidered my foolish notion
Yeah, I need someone to hold me,
But I'll wait for something more....
(*Pause*)
Cause I gotta have Faith
(*Final chorus*)
02 Father Figure (05:36)
That's all I wanted
Something special, something sacred
In your eyes
For just one moment
To be bold and naked
At your side
Sometimes I think that you'll never
Understand me
Maybe this time is forever
Say it can be
That's all you wanted
Something special, someone sacred
In your life
Just for one moment
To be warm and naked
At my side
Sometimes I think that you'll never
Understand me
But something tells me together
We'd be happy
(Baby)
I will be your father figure
(Oh baby)
Put your tiny hand in mine
(I'd love to)
I will be your preacher teacher
(Be your daddy)
Anything you have in mind
(It would make me)
I will be your father figure
(Very happy)
I have had enough of crime
(Please let me)
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time
That's all I wanted
But sometimes love can be mistaken
For a crime
That's all I wanted Just to see my baby's
Blue eyed shine
This time I think that my lover
Understands me
If we have faith in each other
Then we can be strong
I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time
If you are the desert ,I'll be the sea
If you ever hunger, hunger for me
Whatever you ask for, that's what I'll be
So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful Darling
Don't think of me
Because all I ever wanted
It's in your eyes baby, baby
And love can't lie, no...
(Greet me with the eyes of a child)
My love is always telling me so...
(Heaven is a kiss and a smile)
Just hold on, hold on
I won't let you go, my baby
I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
(So I am gonna love you)
Until the end of time
I will be your father
I will be your preacher
I will be your daddy
I will be the one who loves you until the end of time
08 Monkey (05:06)
Why can't you do it?
Why can't you set your monkey free?
Always giving in to it -
Do you love your monkey or do you love me?
Why can't you do it?
Why do I have to share my baby with a monkey?
(With a monkey, with a monkey, aye, aye, aye, uh-huh)
Oh, I count to ten
But I don't know how and I don't know when
To open my eyes
If you kiss me again
Like you did just now, like you did just then
I've had the rest, now it's time I had the best
So you tell me that you won't do anymore
Well I'd write your heart a letter
But I think you know me better
If I keep on askin' baby, maybe I'll get what I'm askin' for
Why can't you do it? Why can't you set your monkey free?
Always giving in to it -
Do you love your monkey or do you love me?
Why can't you do it?
Why do I have to share my baby with a monkey?
Oh I hate your friends
But I don't know how and I don't know when
To open your eyes
Yes the monkey's back again
Do you want him now like you did back then?
I tried my best, but your head is such a mess
So I guess that I don't want you anymore
Well you say you care about me
That you just can't do without me
But you keep on dancin' baby
'Til that monkey has you on the floor
Why can't you do it? Why can't you set your monkey free?
Always giving into it
Do you love the monkey or do you love me?
Why can't you do it
Why do I have to share my baby with a monkey?
Don't look now
There's a monkey on your back
Don't look now
There's a monkey on you...
09 Kissing a Fool (04:35)
You are far, when I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
But you'll never find peace of mind
Till you listen to your heart
People, you can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will, If you let them
Steal your heart from you
People,Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through
Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and lies
So good-bye, but please don't take my heart
You are far, I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces and mend my heart
Maybe I'll be strong enough, I don't know where to start
But I'll never find peace of mind, while I listen to my heart
People, you can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will, If you let them, steal your heart
And people, will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through
But remember this, every other kiss,
That you ever give, long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with
I will wait for you, like I always do
There's something there, that can't compare
With any other
You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too.
I guess you were kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool
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By RingoStarfish
George Michael, undeniably, has one of the most beautiful, warm, expressive voices ever recorded.
'Faith' shows us a diverse talent, revolutionizing the trends of the record market, offering... the avant-garde for the consumer.
