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Rating:
More than ever, evaluating this important piece of Zappa's 1980s discography is complex. The evaluation is based, primarily, on two considerations: the first involves the undeniable presence, within the proposed repertoire, of some "weak points," understood as tracks lacking significant elements and characterized by arrangement choices that are questionable to say the least; such weak points have always influenced the generally negative judgment expressed on this work over the years. The other (and equally important) consideration is that with "Them Or Us" we are undeniably in the presence of a crucial transition, pivotal for the evolution of Zappa as a guitarist: what emerges here is a mastery and control of the instrument that is monstrous, shocking, manic, an expression of a "total knowledge" of musical forms that Our Man had already acquired at a very advanced stage.
The extreme avant-garde, the technological experimentation of the subsequent "Jazz From Hell" would seem isolated and difficult to justify if one disregarded the album in question and did not attribute to it the proper historical significance. Nor could Zappa's growth be adequately interpreted without considering the decisive role played by Steve Vai in the making of this album; in those years, a reciprocal and productive exchange of views had been established between the two, such a sharing of ideas that it is almost useless to ask today who influenced whom. If it is true that Vai wouldn't exist without Zappa (or at least would have played very differently), it's equally true that the encounter with Vai had represented a milestone for the King of the Madmen, as for the first time, he collaborated with a guitarist with whom he could truly compare himself: for this reason, I would think long and hard before considering the relationship between the two merely in terms of a master-apprentice dialectic (or at least, no longer and not only in these terms).
Let's start with the "weak points", which are frankly few and in any case not enough to justify the opinion of those who consider this a "negligible" test compared to what Zappa had produced before and, prospectively, also to his future works. Negative judgments partly stimulated by the fragmentary (but not dispersive) nature of the album, which comprises recordings made over several years. It is certain that the cover of "The Closer You Are", the old Channels hit with which the disc opens, is an episode that is at the very least laughable, insignificant, almost provocative in its return to certain '50s Mainstream Pop atmospheres: pure "divertissement" without great pretensions, lacking special points of interest and even that indispensable dose of irreverent irony that Zappa usually dispensed when offering the listener such oddities (irony that we find later in the album, in the hilarious "Be In My Video," a not-so-veiled mockery of the music video culture: unmissable, in that case, are the Mothers-style choruses and the horrendous guttural sounds produced by Zappa, mimicking Elvis Presley and Doo Wop).
The predictable Rock Blues of "In France" is also unimpressive, despite a biting guitar and a "committed" text (the quotation marks are obligatory) that literally hits the French and their culture in the face. Just as not surprising are the personal re-interpretations of two past classics: firstly, the "Sharleena" already appeared on "Chunga's Revenge" and here reproposed in a sugary version too skewed towards choral vocalizations, as well as rearranged to a Reggae tempo in a questionably tasteful choice (the leader's solo is commendable, but it's pure routine: much better the original version of what is also one of the most beautiful "songs" Zappa ever wrote); a similar treatment (and in this case, perhaps, Reggae fits even worse) for "Whipping Post", the famous and immortal guitar marathon by the Allman Brothers Band: some brilliant rhythmic insights from Chad Wackerman's drums are noteworthy, but the same can't be said for the anonymous and pedestrian imitation of Gregg Allman by the vocalist at hand (Bobby Martin), heavily relying on typical "bluesy" accents but of little personality. In any case, the worst aspects of the album are the obsessive and repetitive riff of "Ya Hozna", lost amid a chaos of voices filtered by an overly obtrusive synthesizer, and the banal musical interlude of "Planet Of My Dreams", which truly hits rock bottom.
But now let's move on to the better side of the work, the one that most justifies the four stars I've assigned it without hesitation, and that deserves the label of "magnificent": spectacular and acrobatic displays of guitar prowess, enduring testimonies of a virtuosity here at its zenith but also of an ever-increasing ease in the contamination of the "apparently irreconcilable." Music without borders or constraints, intolerant of convention and any sharply categorizable sonic reality.
It will be said that making such considerations when talking about Zappa is like discovering hot water; what's important to emphasize is how in "Them Or Us" the already established tendency of Zappa towards contamination is supported by a confidence, by a solidity in the approach and execution that fully legitimizes the comparison with some past gems: primarily the Jazz trilogy ("Hot Rats", "Waka-Jawaka" and "The Grand Wazoo"), though not underestimating the equally important albums of the late '70s, starting with "Apostrophe".
A characteristic of Zappa in those years is the widespread recourse to a dialectic of deconstruction and recomposition, in some ways akin to that of electric Miles Davis, and which unfolds in three moments: retrieval of elements provided by tradition, their radical decontextualization, and their assembly to create new, unusual forms that are hard on the ears.
And it would be hard to claim that pieces of the caliber of "Sinister Footwear II" and "Truck Driver Divorce" are easy on a first listen, especially for an audience completely (or almost) naive to Zappa's art: the first, in particular, deserves to be considered a true "composition for electric orchestra," such is the intricate complexity of the scores, of the instrumental lines that blend and follow each other non-stop in a frenetic "interplay" with astral and shocking outcomes. Music made to astonish and disorient, capable of taking the listener to shores far from those immediately imaginable: that's what happens in "Truck Driver Divorce," which starts at the pace of a sentimental Old-Style Country mixed with Vaudeville echoes, only to suddenly evolve into something not easily definable, in a "Free Form" entirely occupied by a long, swirling, delirious dialogue between the lead guitar and Chad Wackerman's drums.
On the same (very high) level is the "title track," which is nothing but a lengthy solo recorded live in Bolzano in July 1982, and later edited with studio overdubs; equally excellent are "Marqueson's Chicken," formidable in the sumptuous opening with Arabic flavors and nervous in the solo phrasing imposed by the leader on a simple two-chord theme, and "Baby Take Your Teeth Out," with a central part occupied by a suggestive Jazz section.
A special mention goes to the crude (but captivating) "Stevie's Spanking," a heavy dedication to Steve Vai punctuated by the recurrence of a classic riff with Hard hues; not without irony, the lyrics (one could expect that, after all), but what stands out the most is the spectacular nature of the solo performed by Vai himself, able to highlight his own and unique timbral individuality even while sharing the Zappian guitar aesthetic; however, Tommy Mars' synthesizer interventions do not fully satisfy, but overall this time it's the general atmosphere of the piece (very "kitsch") that makes the choice appropriate.
Lastly, a brief mention should be made of the fanciful interlude of "Frogs With Dirty Little Lips," a lewd and surreal "nonsense" sketch whose inspiration was reportedly provided to Zappa by his son Ahmet Rodan: a fine example of intra-family cooperation...
A very interesting album then (for those patient enough to appreciate it), not a masterpiece but emblematic of the 1980s Zappian style and a must-listen for all enthusiasts.
Tracklist Lyrics and Samples
01 The Closer You Are (02:55)
Ray White (vocals)
Ike Willis (vocals)
Bobby Martin (vocals)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Arthur Barrow (bass)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
The closer you are
The brighter the stars in the sky
And darling,
I realize
That you're the one in my life
Oh oh
My heart skips a beat
Every time
You and I meet
My life, my love, my dear
I can't defeat
This yearning deep in my heart
To have only you
When I first saw you,
I did adore you,
And all your loving ways
But then you went away,
But now you're back to stay,
And my love for you grows stronger every
Day-ahhh Way-ahhh Way
The closer you are,
The brigher the flames in my heart,
And darling,
We'll never part
We'll always be in love
02 In France (03:33)
Johnny "Guitar" Watson (lead vocals)
Bobby Martin (harmonica)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Arthur Barrow (bass)
We're playin' in a tent
It's payin' the rent
If you pooch a civilian,
It's a mayor event
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France
The girls is all salty
The boys is all sweet
The food ain't too shabby,
An' they piss in the street
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France
They got diseases
Like you never seen
Got a mystery blow-job
Turn your peter green
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France
They got some coffee,
Eatin' right through the cup,
An' when they go ka-ka
They make you stand up
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France
If you're not careful,
It'll stick to your cheeks
You'll smell like a native
For a couple of weeks
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France
We cannot wait
Till we go back
It gets so exciting
When the poodles 'react'
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France
Never try to get yo' peter sucked
In France
03 Ya Hozna (06:26)
Not sure if its correct, because Ya Hozna is backwards singing.
Sung backwards:
I AM THE HEAVEN
I AM THE WATER
ICH BIN DER DRECK UNTER DEINEN WALZEN
ICH BIN DEIN GEHEIMER SCHMUTZ
UND VERLORENES METALLGELD
ICH BIN DEINE RITZE
ICH BIN DEINE RITZE UND SCHLITZE
I AM THE CLOUDS
I AM EMBROIDERED
ICH BIN DER AUTOR ALLER FELGEN
UND DAMAST PASPELN
ICH BIN DER CHROME DINETTE
ICH BIN DER CHROME DINETTE
ICH BIN EIER ALLER ARTEN
ICH BIN ALLE TAGE UND NAECHTE
ICH BIN ALLE TAGE UND NAECHTE
ICH BIN HIER
UND DU BIST MEIN SOFA
ICH BIN HIER
UND DU BIST MEIN SOFA
ICH BIN HIER
UND DU BIST MEIN SOFA
ORIGINAL:
I AM THE HEAVEN
I AM THE WATER
I AM THE DIRT BENEATH YOUR ROLLERS
I AM YOUR SECRET SMUT
AND LOST METAL MONEY DOWN YOUR CRACKS
I AM YOUR CRACKS & CRANNIES
I AM THE CLOUDS
I AM EMBROIDERED
I AM THE AUTHOR OF ALL TUCKS
AND DAMAST PIPING
I AM THE CHROME DINETTE
I AM THE CHROME DINETTE
I AM EGGS OF ALL PERSUASIONS
I AM ALL DAYS & NIGHTS
I AM ALL DAYS & NIGHTS
I AM ALL DAYS & NIGHTS
I AM ALL DAYS & NIGHTS
I AM HERE
AND YOU ARE MY SOFA
I AM HERE
AND YOU ARE MY SOFA
I AM HERE
AND YOU ARE MY SOFA
04 Sharleena (04:33)
Frank Zappa (guitar, vocals)
Ian Underwood (grand piano, tenor saxophone)
George Duke (organ)
Jeff Simmons (bass, vocals)
Aynsley Dunbar (drums)
The Phlorescent Leech and Eddie (vocals)
I'm crying,
I'm crying,
Crying for Sharleena.
Don't you know?
I called up all my baby's friends
and asked them,
where she done went.
But nobody around here seems to know,
Where my Sharleena has been.
Where my Sharleena has been.
I'm crying,
I'm crying,
Crying for Sharleena.
Can't you see?
I called up all my baby's friends
and asked them,
where she done went.
But nobody around here seems to know,
Where my Sharleena has been.
Where my Sharleena has been.
Ten long years I been lovin' her.
Ten long years and I thought deep down in my heart she was mine.
Ten long years I beloved her.
Ten long years and I would call her my baby.
And now, I'm always crying.
Ugh!
Ugh!
I would be so delighted.
I would be so delighted.
If they would just
Send her on home to me.
I would be so delighted.
I would be so delighted.
If they would just
Send her on home to me.
Send my baby home to me!
Send my baby home to me!
Send my baby home.
Send my baby home to me!
06 Truck Driver Divorce (08:59)
Frank Zappa (vocals, guitar)
Steve Vai (rhythm guitar)
Ray White (rhythm guitar)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Bobby Martin (keyboards)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Truck driver divorce!
It's very sad
(Steel guitars
Usually weep all over it)
The bold & intelligent
MASTERS OF THE ROAD
With their Secret Language,
And the GIANT
OVER-SIZED
MECHANICAL
TRANS-CONTINENTAL
HOBBY-HORSE!
Truck driver divorce!
It's very sad!
Oh the wife!
Oh the kids!
Oh the waitress!
Oh the drive all night!
Sometimes when you get home
Some ugly lookin' son-of-a-bitch
Is trying to pooch yer
HOME-TOWN SWEETHEART!
Oh, go ride the bull!
Oh, go ride the bull!
Make it go up 'n down
'N when you fall off,
You can eat the mattress!
TRUCK DRIVER DIVORCE!
IT'S VERY SAD!
Bust yer ass
To deliver some string beans,
Deliver some string beans,
Deliver some string beans,
To
UTAH!
11 Be in My Video (03:39)
Frank Zappa (vocals)
Ike Willis (background vocals)
Ray White (background vocals)
Napoleon Murphy Brock (background vocals)
Bobby Martin (saxophone, falsetto)
Brad Cole (piano)
Scott Thunes (bass)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
Be in my video,
Darling, every night
I will rent a cage for you
And mi-j-i-nits dressed in white
(teeny-little-tiny-little...)
Twirl around in a lap dissolve
Pretend to sing the words
I'll rent a gleaming limousine;
Release a flock of Ber-herna-herna-herna
Herna-her-nerds
Wear a leather collar
And a dagger in your ear
(Stabbin' and a-stabbin' and a-stabbin' and a-stabbin' at you-ou-ou-ou-ou)
I will make you smell the glove
And try to look sincere, then we'll
Dance the blues (Oh yes)
Let's dance the blues (We'll dance the blues)
Let's dance the blues (We'll dance them very much)
Under the megawatt moonlight
Pretend to be Chinese,
(One-hung-low)
I'll make you wear red shoes
There's a cheesy atom bomb explosion
All the big groups use
Atomic light will shine
Through an old venetian blind
Making patterens on your face,
Then it cuts to outer space
With its billions & billions &
Billions & billions and
Be in my video
Darling, every night
Everyone in cable-land
Will say you're 'outta-sight'
You can show your legs
While you're getting in the car, then
I will look repulsive
While I mangle my guitar
Reen-toon-teen-toon-teen-toon
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee,
Moo-ahhhh
Reen-toon-teen-toon-teen-toon
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee,
Moo-ahhhh
Reen-toon-teen-toon-teen-toon
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee,
Moo-ahhhh
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee,
Moo-ahhhh
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee,
Moo-ahhhh-wah-wah-wah!
After all the closeup shots of you
In bondage leather
They'll spray an alley with a hose
And we'll escape together
Then we'll dance the blues again (Oh yes, we'll dance the blues)
Let's dance the blues again (Sure we will)
Let's dance the blues again (We'll dance them blues)
In the middle of an alley
Let's dance your face (Let's dance your face)
Let's dance your lips (And dance your lips)
Let's dance your nose (We'll dance your nose)
And then we'll dance your sinus!
Wooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooooooo!
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