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Rating: The year is 2052.
The racing spaceship world championship has just ended. The elderly Senator Chainsaw is invited as an external guest to the inauguration of a Late Twentieth Century museum. The honorable Chainsaw is one of the founding fathers of the Fourth Italian Republic, born from the ashes of the Third World War.
The war had broken out when the United States President Kanye West, who had brought the USA back to its parliamentary roots after the long reign of Donald Trump, discovered that the rest of the world was not interested in the debate that had been tearing apart American society for years. The unrest arose following the awarding of the Oscar for Best Actor to Adam Sandler, who played a poignant butler Alfred nearing senility in Batman Vs. Alien 4: Rise of the Machines, directed by Wes Anderson. Since Mark von Zuckerberg had united Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram into a single social network, Leviathan, in 2020, entertainment-related issues were the only ones capable of inflaming the audiences of a superpower now in collapse. The debate was about the composition of the Academy jury, which was made up of members chosen with the majority method, meanwhile replaced by the proportional one. The liberals feared that because of this, the Oscar to Adam Sandler could be offensive to ethnic minorities and the LGBT community. The fears of the Republicans were not well understood but had to do with Muslims.
The war fortunately ended with the defeat of Evil: Mexico had re-annexed the territories lost with the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, Russia was governed by a Scandinavian-style social democracy, the United Kingdom was experiencing a new Victorian age of splendor (to counter the damages of Brexit, it had to re-annex Canada and Australia), and the European Union was stronger than ever thanks to the leadership of the Central Empires (the House of Habsburg had indeed reunited its ancient possessions and Germany had reinstated the Hohenzollern). The European victory, however, was achieved at a heavy price, especially in Italy, where in 2043 the civil war had divided the country between the armies of humanoid replicants led by Beppe Grillo and the D’Alemian Social Republic. The fracture was recomposed only with difficulty, and with democracy prosperity also returned.
After the hovercraft races ended, the elderly Senator Chainsaw, from the stage set up under the equestrian monument to Craxi in front of the Vittoriale degli Italiani of Rignano sull'Arno, finished his speech to the young people.
"Comrades, citizens, brothers, partisans, but most of all you, dear young people who will be the ruling class of tomorrow, who are wondering what Culture shaped us old partisans, us heroes of the new democracy who triumphed over hatred, particularisms, and post-truth and eradicated those plagues that scourged the Beautiful Country once known as Striscia la Notizia, the Sanremo festival, and the youtubers. This Museum is for you, so that you may drink from the same well of wisdom that made us born in the last three decades of the Twentieth century able to make the forces of Good triumph."
The museum library was organized to allow young people to come into contact with the great culture of the twentieth century, namely:
-80s movies with shooting
-70s movies with people like Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood having to break into castles full of Nazis
-90s electronic music
At the end of the speech, with a voice broken by emotion, the senator gave up his place on the stage to the master of ceremonies, a local leader of New Christian Democracy. The lights dim, pastries are consumed, and music erupts from the speakers.
Well yes, dear debaserioti friends of the future: the idiotic electronics of the Nineties is what will make tomorrow's ruling class great. And if I have to think of Music that Rocks for a Serious Film, I can't help but think of this stuff here. Risotto by Fluke was released in 1997 and consists of songs you have probably already heard in things that should have marked your youth, such as:
-The soundtracks of trashy movies like Matrix Reloaded, Tomb Raider, and Sin City
-That absolute masterpiece of a soundtrack of Wipeout XL
-The soundtrack of a couple of Need for Speed Underground
-Some commercials around television.
Atmospheric techno, yet also suitable for your craziest nights, close to that thing that back then was called breakbeat or big beat.
Obviously, even in this case, the less-known songs of the album are generally quite forgettable.
Tracklist Lyrics and Videos
01 Absurd (05:48)
King kong in Cannes
On a date with Spiderman
Dan Dar's sitting there
Scared by the killer teddy bears
Down town Mini Mouse
Is slippin Micky's in the famous grouse
While big bird spreads the word
Anybody with a heart votes love
Judge Dredd found dead
Face down in Snoopy's bed
Outside Tweetie pie's
Getting itchy on more supplies
Meanwhile Snow White
Gets ready for work tonight
Turning tricks with crystal tips
Tying to make the best of it's absurd
Puppy dogs and pussy cats
In suspect suicide attacks
Captain Kirk from planet earth
Fights it out with Papa Smurf
Some phoney little ponies
Preying on old and lonely
Making friends robbing them
The X Men taught them everything
Betty Boop tired of life
Took vows became a bride of Christ
While Tin Tin's been playing
At Caesar's palace live on ice
Babar Kumbayahs
With the mighty morphin movie stars
As big bird spreads the word
Anybody with a heart votes love
02 Atom Bomb (05:45)
Baby got an atom bomb,
A mother fucking atom bomb,
Twenty two megatons,
You've never seen so much fun.
Baby got a poison gas,
Baby got a heart attacks,
Baby got a pain on tap,
Baby gimme some of that.
Baby got a nobel prize,
Given for the perfect crime,
Baby got an alibi,
Baby got eight more lives.
Baby got purple hair,
Baby got a secret lair,
Baby got an army there,
I ain't ever seen baby scared.
Baby got a satellite,
Baby got second sight,
Baby got a masterplan,
A foolproof master plan.
Baby got a crystal ball,
Baby doesn't care at all,
Baby's having too much fun,
Baby got an atom bomb.
Baby got an atom bomb,
Baby got an atom bomb,
Baby got an atom bomb,
A mother fucking atom bomb.
Baby got an atom bomb,
Baby got an atom bomb,
Baby got an atom bomb,
A mother fucking atom bomb.
Baby got a fleet at sea,
She's got a submarine called Emergency,
She got a motorcade,
She got a monorail,
Going coast to coast on a campain trail,
Playing deck of cards in an armoured car,
She got a kung fu star as a bodyguard,
She got a juju charm,
She got a magic spell,
She got a genie, all three is working well,
She got a tv show,
She got a shopping mall,
She got a miracle, she doesn't want at all,
She got a monument, at a great expense,
She got a head of state, and a president,
She got destiny, she got supremecy,
She got everything from A - Z,
She got it all down tight, she got nothing wrong,
She got the whole wide world singing baby's song.
05 Bermuda (07:57)
I can't hear myself
Aint' that beautiful
I am drowned out by the roar
Floating back up from the shore
It is wonderful
It is easy
Take your time
Take all day
I don't mind
Stretch it out
For all our lives
I can't hear myself
It is fine
I am mumbled by the trees
Silenced by the bees
So right...
06 Setback (08:55)
I swear
All I could see was ruins for miles and miles
As they unfolded right before my eyes
Like a lot of funny faces
Looking like they don't know what's going on
Searching for a home
But they're smiling now
Guess that's the only right
Wouldn't you?
Cos somebody wants them after all
Displaced final call
Good
Attention fixed we'll stop
Usual tricks
Good time to make you feel like the lucky one
You can smell good all day long
We can make your roof never leak
You've been sold
The ruins have all got better again
There are a couple of scars, better to keep them
Pick them every now and again
A little reminder, a little reminder
With a lot less pain
Interrupted back to the inbetweens
No relation to the big screen
Unlike the tiger
One of the best i've ever seen
Majestic
Quite serene
He is a beautiful beast
That eats beautiful meat
09 Squirt (06:15)
Weighting over ten feet tall
Feet of clay, head of gold
Middle made of cannon balls
Rumour has is swallowed whole
Mineral, without a soul
That's the story being told
The estimated, undefeted
Champeen of the world
Big yet unfamiliar
Think bigger than the biggest bar
Think big, that's only half as large
Bigger, better, twice as hard
Outsized, extra large
Velocity very fast
Bigger than the closest star
Bigger than the motor car
Quick, quiet, confident
Comfortable, permanent
Undisputed every tense
Not a trace of what went left
More equal than the best
Unparalleled success
Everybody
V.impressed
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