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Rating: I do not understand.
Panting, worries, resentments disturb me. Like insects that I don't even feel like squashing. Rest assured, not out of pity.
Joys and sorrows only touch me when I MUST pay attention to them. And they are almost always the joys and sorrows of others... Then, for me, I don't understand what’s the point of the whole pantomime of needing to have dreams, aspirations, illusions, something to believe in, an ideal to perhaps die for, and I write this without bitterness. With clarity and a hint of a smile on my lips.
There are books, I know this, that should never be read. (Like records which, once recorded, should be put away and forgotten by most.) In the "Book of Disquiet..." everything is divinely anonymous, humanly sketched, nervously suspended. These are reflections without logical or temporal connection of a small bookkeeper from Lisbon, an inconspicuous and dismissed little man; one senses he is not attractive. We are in the thirties of the past century; but we could be in any corner of the world and in any era. And above all, Bernardo Soares could be anyone, among the many phantoms we encounter every day. But it could also be us: and this is the cancer that this book infuses into the reader's soul, when for a moment they touch upon the author's philosophy and are overwhelmed and crushed by it. Because what Bernardo Soares (among the many, certainly the most tragic and fitting heteronym for the writer Pessoa) observes from the window of his studio on Rua Dos Douradores, rather than sitting at the usual table in the usual grimy tavern, or one day in the countryside visiting a friend; what the gray Bernardo calmly and hopelessly notes in his diary is an inner world that already knows the Truth of everything, heralding a Secret that most do not want to see, and I am about to cry...
Soares crosses the "broken mesh in the net" of Montale's memory, but reveals to us that even beyond, it is all the same, always remains the same...
"(...) Every day the Matter mistreats me. my sensitivity is a flame in the wind."
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